Shattered
by notmanos
Summary: Logan checks out a problem for Bob, but the 'problem' just might be the end of the world.
1. Part 1

Disclaimer:The character of Logan & all X Men is also owned by 20th Century Fox and Marvel Comics.No copyright infringement intended. Drusilla also belongs to Fox and Mutant Enemy.Bob is still mine - hands off. 

N.B.: Takes place shortly after the "X Men" movie, and "Mononoke". 

    SHATTERED 

    1 

    His sense of anxiety began to ease when he made it past the first checkpoint. 

No,that wasn't quite right:his sense of anxiety was buried so deep inside him even he barely noticed it,but that was necessary if this was to have any chance of working at all.Outwardly,and at the forefront of his mind,he had to have all the emotions of a doorstop.As far as they knew,he was still a zombie,and he had to act that way if he wanted to escape. 

Ever since the latest brainwashing had been crumbling away,he'd been hiding pieces of himself deep inside his mind,like a prisoner being starved to death might horde little bits of food to hold on just a little while longer.But he had to hide any sense of self,any sanity,to avoid the telepaths finding out that the walls had broken down once more.It was not the first time it had happened-memories of past tortures had started coming back to him-but he did hope it was the last. 

Logan kept himself in an outwardly dead state of mind as he continued down the adamantium lined corridor,passed by armed soldiers who never quite took their eyes off him as he walked by,headed for the second to last checkpoint.He had remembered some meditation techniques that helped him bury himself and any feelings beyond the blind,unfocused rage they wanted and expected of him.He could only hope they were enough,because if this was going to work it was going to have to be now;the annual telepathic screening was coming up,and he didn't know if he could survive it intact. 

The second checkpoint had a soldier on it,and his pale,dead eyes scanned him instantly,with a sort of low grade contempt that was second nature around here.Even though mutants were the star of the show here,they were viewed with scorn and hatred:the 'normal' soldiers who held them in check loathed mutants with every fiber of their being,and saw them as just a step above rabid animals.They were the backbone of this organization,but the 'normals' never let them forget they were just freaks who had no reason to exist save for their use as living weapons of the state."Goin' off to your burrow,Wolverine?"The soldier said,betraying a thick Southern accent;Georgian,he guessed. 

Logan simply glared as the square jawed soldier laughed at his own joke.The soldier held up the gun like contraption of the scanner,which flashed briefly red in the periphery of his vision and read the code on his dog tags,and then the soldier (his name tag on his breast pocket read 'C. Truitt',although in his mind Logan thought 'Trout' and had to work really hard to suppress a fleeting sense of amusement) glanced at his computer screen,built into the guard kiosk."Y'all can go,"he finally said,still giving Logan a contemptuous sneer that he burned to react to but knew he could not,not if this was going to work.  
"Try not to kill anyone on the way out." 

Logan growled-that at least was in character-and while Truitt remained unbearably smug,he backed up a step,and his hand dropped to the butt of his paralyzer he wore on his hip.At least the superior attitude got tempered by fear. 

The 'blast' doors irised open,leading straight into the corridor that would lead to the final checkpoint,and then freedom beyond the walls of the compound.But he couldn't allow himself to feel anything-excitement,exhilaration,nothing.He'd come close to escaping before,but never made it.He had to get out this time,because his only other option was suicide,and that seemed to be almost impossible.His body wouldn't let him die,even when the torture never stopped. 

He was through the door and half way down the adamantium plated hallway when he smelled failure.The Overseer appeared at the head of the hall,between him and the final checkpoint,flanked by a half dozen guards in full body armor, their paralyzers and guns out and ready.The Overseer simply stood there,arms crossed over his chest,smiling smugly as more armored troops filled the corridor behind him.He was trapped. 

"Logan,how stupid do you think we are?"The Overseer asked."By the second escape attempt,we learned to scan you randomly.You aren't leaving,Logan-you belong to us." 

"Fuck you,"he snarled,letting the anger out now.Sometimes there was no way to elude the telepaths;he'd have to find some way to do it,or he would be at their mercy forever. 

The soldiers began to crowd in,paralyzers out,and Logan was so angry he was almost trembling.Bastards."The brainwashing never takes for long,"he said through gritted teeth,trying to hold back his rage and appeal to whatever logic and kernel of humanity the dickhead had left.It was the longest of long shots,but he knew he'd never fight his way out the door."And I'm never gonna stop fightin' you,so just let me walk.You'll never hear from me again.Let's just end this now." 

He made a show of thinking about it,but Logan knew he was going to say no.Overseer gave him a terrible,cold smile,and drawled,"You didn't actually think that would work,did you?You really shouldn't flatter yourself,Logan:we've broken you before,and we'll do it again.It's only a matter of time before the truth gets through that thick skull of yours,and you stay broken.Now,do you want to provide sport for my men and go down hard,or are you going to return to your cell quietly?" 

Logan growled,a deep rumble that seemed to well up from inside his chest,and the frustration seemed to pound behind his eyes like a migraine,except he didn't get migraines.He was just so angry he thought he was going to explode. 

He started to turn as if he was taking the going quietly option,and the soldiers backed up slightly,giving him room...and then with a scream of frustration and rage he turned and dove at Overseer,popping his claws in mid-air.Maybe he couldn't fight his way out,but maybe he could hurt this fuck. 

His claws had just sunk into his torso when the first paralyzer hit him in the small of the back,sending electricity coursing up his spine,and as he hit the floor,one soldier literally ripping Overseer off his claws,they began hitting him en masse.He got stung with so many paralyzers in so many places he lost count,and then began the kicking with their steel toed boots,with shots to the kidneys and the side of the neck really hurting,and because he was paralyzed he could do nothing but lay there and take it.Sure he couldn't hurt them,some of the soldiers began bludgeoning him with their gun butts,as they couldn't use him for target practice here.But later he knew he would;they'd pump round after round of bullets into him,wanting to make him so crazy with pain he'd be the raving,senseless animal they all knew and loved so very much.Also,it was just good for troop morale to shoot a mutie now and again. 

He heard,distantly,the voice of the secondary commander barking,"Take him to the chamber.I think Wolverine just volunteered to test the cranial implants.Go!" 

He didn't know what the hell a 'cranial implant' was,but it couldn't be good.Still,it would fail,like everything else they did to him.As his consciousness began to slip away,he swore he would escape from these people one of these days. 

And they wanted to see him savage?Oh,they would. 

One of these days,he was going to kill them all. 

Logan woke up,somewhere between startled and angry,and found himself staring up at the water stained ceiling of yet another anonymous cheap hotel room,partially relieved and yet not all at once.It was still a prison,just a different type than the one he had once been in.He had just exchanged one kind of captivity for another. 

But at least he hadn't clawed the bed this time.Chalk one up for him. 

He got out of bed and stumbled blearily to the bathroom,sure he was done with sleep for the night,a real shame since it wasn't even four in the morning.It wasn't like there was a bar still open that he could go to and drink in hopes of drowning his sorrow for half a minute (well,with his system,if he drank a lot really fast,he might experience a buzz for a couple of seconds before his system compensated for it.Sad but all he could shoot for). 

Oh wait,yes there was.It wasn't a human bar,so it didn't have to conform to the same rules as the Humans.But did he really want to risk encountering Bob?He didn't want to share this,he didn't want to 'talk',he just wanted to be left alone while the memory slid beneath the surface and sank along with almost all the others.Some things were just best forgotten. 

He was splashing cold water on his face when he heard the people in the room next door arguing again.He was trying not to hear too,so it had to be to be loud enough that even people with normal hearing could've heard it bleeding through the plywood thin walls.That was the drawback of staying in cheap hotels-the fellow transitory tenants. 

They were junkies;junkies had a sort of death smell coming off them that you could pick up from a half mile away.He had passed the man leaving the other day (Logan himself was just coming back),and he smelled not only of impending death but of blood, although the blood was not his own.Passing the door of their room,he heard the woman (girlfriend perhaps- the man didn't have a wedding ring) crying,although she soon left to get her own fix to take the pain away.Pathetic.It was bad enough they were crankheads,and worse that they had some kind of fucked up relationship psychodrama going that just had to play next door to him.Well,not anymore-he was getting the fuck out of here.He could find a room in any fleabag hotel in the greater Los Angeles area. 

He wiped his face with a towel and tossed it on the floor,not caring where it ended up,and got dressed,which didn't take long:jeans,t-shirt,socks,boots.He shoved his flannel overshirt in his knapsack,as the temperature was hovering near eighty even at this time of night,and this hotel was too cheap to have functional air conditioners.He really wanted to take a shower, he felt sticky with sweat,but he really didn't want to have to listen to the dysfunctional family drama going on next door any longer than necessary.After thinking about it a moment,he folded up his leather jacket as best he could and crammed it in there.He really couldn't wear it tonight. 

He hated the cold,but he longed for the frigid Canadian Rockies with something akin to homesickness.L.A. was huge and hot and polluted,with too many cars and too many people,and some sort of ephemeral but pervasive sense of sadness,as if the desperation of its people was so great it had sunk into the pores of the city itself.Logan supposed that meant,on some level,he belonged here.But that was high on his list of things he really didn't want to think about. 

He was slipping on his watch when he heard the massive thud against the wall he shared with the neighboring unit,and the drab landscape painting of trees with fall coloring by a rather oily looking river seemed to jump off the wall,not quite falling off but hanging on by a single picture wire.It listed to a severe ninety degree angle but remained dangling above the threadbare brown carpet as the man began bellowing at the woman ("fucking bitch" was his favorite epithet,repeated several times,sometimes in the same sentence),and Logan heard what could only be the sound of flesh on flesh.He was beating her up.Great. 

The smart thing would be to call the cops,if they even bothered to come down to this area (there were some neighborhoods in every big city where the cops never bothered to go;he knew that from experience),but Logan loathed people who abused others just because they could.And,honestly,he was just itching for a fight.It was almost considerate of the dickhead to give him an excuse. 

He stormed next door and pounded on the door,giving the guy his last chance to escape the ass whupping of a lifetime. But he didn't take it.The second time Logan pounded on the door,hard enough to rattle the cheap door in its frame,the man shouted,"Leave us the fuck alone!" 

Yeah,that was going to happen. 

Logan didn't need to kick the door in;it was so flimsy he basically just gave it a sharp nudge with the toe of his boot and the lock fractured,rattling to the carpet as the door swung open,revealing the lovely spectacle of the shirtless and scrawny man looming above his sickly looking girlfriend.She was huddled in a corner near an overturned table (the lamp still surrealistically nailed to its surface),her face a crimson mask,and his balled up fists were covered in blood.Cute moment; would make a great Hallmark card. 

The rangy man whirled to face him,and he looked almost as sickly as his girlfriend;too skinny by half,his ribs stood out in relief on his sunken chest,his skin an unhealthy sort of paste color,as if he hadn't seen the sun for years.His eyes seemed to large for his face,so wild they reminded him of a spooked horse,and he didn't need to be a detective to know this guy was majorly tripping."Get the fuck out of here,you freak!"he shouted,his voice raspy with hysterical rage.Wow,freak-what a poor choice of insults. 

"Didn't your mother ever tell you about picking on someone your own size?"Logan wondered facetiously,and then smacked him hard across his pasty face.He didn't punch him;one punch not only could have knocked him out but fractured his skull. No,he was here to administer a humiliating beat down,not one that ended in a single punch,so he went for the open backhand across the face.In street parlance,a pimp slap. 

The man-could he have been more than twenty two?-went flying,colliding with an upright nightstand on the other side of the room before falling over with it,hitting the floor in an ungainly sprawl.Really,it was almost too easy at times.Now he felt like a bully,but honestly he couldn't work up a single shred of guilt about it. 

The girl,maybe a couple years younger than her boyfriend and Hispanic,looked up at him,dark eyes wide in her bloody face,and she didn't look all that sober either."Get the fuck out of here,and if you know what's good for you,never come back to this asshole again." 

For a moment she just stared at him with her glazed,slightly swollen eyes,and he thought he'd have to give her an arm out the door himself,but finally she snapped out of whatever stupor she was in and stood up,using the wall to get to her feet.She wasn't dressed in much-a black leather miniskirt,torn fishnet stockings,a pink baby doll t-shirt that exposed her midriff-and he realized she might have been one of the hookers that loitered on the corner the next block over.Did that make scarecrow on the floor over there her pimp?Jesus christ,he really loved humanity sometimes.Why were demons so bad again? 

She slipped past Logan warily,never quite taking her eyes off of him in case he went psycho on her ass,and grabbed a leather jacket off the bed before quickly leaving.Logan was roughly sure it was the man's jacket she grabbed,but why not?He probably had the money and the drugs. 

"You're dead,motherfucker!"The man screamed,jumping up off the floor with a nine millimeter pistol in his hands.He didn't even aim,he just opened fire. 

His first shots went wide and hit the door frame,splintering it in several places,but those were the only shots he got:Logan dove over the bed and popped his claws,shattering the gun to pieces with a single slash.The man screamed in shock-he didn't know if it was surprise from his gun breaking up,from seeing claws explode out of his hand,both,or the possibility that Logan had accidentally snagged the guy's skin in passing-and seemed unable to react as Logan continued with the tackle,withdrawing his claws and driving the guy into the faux wood paneled wall,hard enough that he heard something crack.He wasn't sure if it was in the wall or the guy.But the tacky oil painting on his wall fell and seemed to explode on impact with the floor,Logan stepping on part of the cheap frame as he backed away from the scarecrow. 

The guy sagged against the wall,eyes glassy,breathing in gasps through his open mouth and looking like a fish suddenly tossed on dry land as blood trickled from his nose.As soon as he could speak,he asked,"What the fuck are you?Demon or mutie?" 

So he wasn't as dumb as he looked.That was saying something."Does it matter?"Logan noticed the guy trying to reach surreptitiously into the back pocket of his jeans,and Logan pretended he didn't see it.His opinion on the man's intelligence just went down several notches,putting it back in the triple digit negative range. 

"Nah,'spose not,"he agreed,and moved as quickly as he could,pulling out a butterfly knife that he opened with a single flick of his wrist and jabbed it right towards Logan stomach. 

Logan knew he could take the wound with no lasting effects,but he really didn't feel like getting his gut cut open right now. He grabbed the man's hand and twisted,his wrist snapping like a twig,and he howled in pain as the knife fell to the carpet. Then Mister Genius drove his knee up into Logan's groin,the pain so sudden and savage that it made him even more furious. Before he could stop himself,Logan used the man's injured arm to fling him across the room,where he collided violently with the t.v. stand,and screamed in pain as he spilled to the floor. 

But not enough pain;the amphetamines in his system cut it sharply,and he was flailing to get to his feet in spite of the broken wrist when Logan kicked him in the face,holding back enough that while the man flopped onto his back instantly,he hadn't quite lost consciousness.Logan knelt down,pinning the boy by placing a single knee on his nearly skeletal chest,and began punching him in the face."Maybe you should stick to beating on little girls,"he snarled,driving his fist repeatedly into the man's face. 

It was the blood splattering on his skin that broke him out of his enraged reverie. 

He snapped back to himself and saw he was holding the man's head up by his throat while he continued pounding his other fist into his face,which was a bloody ruin a thousand times worse than what he had done to the girl.He was no longer conscious,his nose was a pulpy mess,and Logan had shattered at least one eye socket.He let him go,instantly disgusted with himself,but still felt a frisson of disappointment that the dirtbag was still breathing. 

What the fuck was wrong with him?Okay,arguably the prick deserved what was coming to him-but Logan hadn't really beat him up because of that,did he?He beat him up because he needed to beat someone up;he had some 'issues' to work out, and this asshole decided to go "Raging Bull" on his girlfriend/employee at absolutely the wrong time. 

Shit,he needed a drink.Or maybe some thorazine.Something. 

He wiped his bloody knuckles on the leg of his jeans as he left the room,and even though he didn't really want to,he stopped at a phone booth in the Circle K across the street and called 911 to let them know there was a bloody mess in room twenty five of the Pacific Court hotel.When they asked him for his name and how the man got the injuries,Logan hung up, and pulled the bottom of his t-shirt up to wipe his fingerprints off the receiver.Well,you could never be too careful. 

Logan trudged the five blocks to the Way Station,wondering if he could blame his violent impulses on everything that had happened to him in his bloody,chaotic life (well,what little bits and pieces he remembered of it-and if all of those bits could be trusted),or if he truly was some kind of psychotic.He was starting to wonder if maybe the Organization wanted him so bad because they knew they'd never have to train him to kill:he already knew how to do that.Expertly,without a shred of conscience or human decency to hold him back.Unless he got his full memory-and his real memory-back,could he ever know for sure? 

Round about four in the morning was one of the few times L.A. verged on quiet:there were more demons about,but they stuck to shadows and back alleys for the most part,and most avoided any contact with him,along with the drug dealers and hookers he often passed on this particular route.His reputation for being unpleasant (and a hard kill) was starting to precede him a bit,and he was glad,because there were just times in your life when you wanted everyone to leave you the hell alone.  
So why was he going to the Way Station,where he was sure to get no peace?Because it was just about the only bar open this time of night,and where else could he go?The drawback of a bad reputation was it closed a lot of doors before you could get within twenty feet of the building. 

The weird thing was you had to know where the Way Station was to find it.According to Bob,it was surrounded by a glamour (which explained that strange tingling sensation that seemed to crawl over his skin when he entered the building) which allowed it to look like the rest of the 'condemned' building that housed it,all the windows boarded up and the crumbling brick foundation visible through broken sections of the facade.Most 'normal people' (not his term,but that's what he meant) couldn't even pass through the 'glamour',which he also compared to a minor forcefield.It guaranteed almost exclusively demon clientele,and privacy,which Logan had to admit was pretty nice.But Bob didn't really need to go to such bother for privacy,did he?He could have a big flashy place,and just tell everyone he wasn't there.But Bob was a strange, strange man:even for a demon,he was kind of bizarre. 

Yet he wasn't exactly a demon anymore,was he?Or maybe he was,the definition had simply stretched.Frankly he had given up on trying to figure out exactly what Bob was,but he wasn't buying that 'just a Belial demon' bullshit anymore.Maybe he used to be,but he didn't smell like one anymore. 

As soon as Logan crossed the invisible barrier,he suddenly heard music he hadn't heard before (the barrier contained noise too?),and the heavy oak and brass door of the Way Station appeared before him,seemingly out of thin air.It had a marble plaque over the door,inscribed,"Abandon hope all ye who enter here",with a big yellow 'smiley face' sticker next to it.And below that,a small white plastic sign proclaiming:"No shirt,no shoes,no service."More of Bob's fucking twisted sense of humor. 

He opened the door with the slightest shove,and was instantly assailed by Megadeth's "Hangar 18" thudding from the jukebox,and the somewhat offensive miasma of over a dozen types of demons.Not all of them smelled bad-Helga smelled nice;Lia didn't smell too bad for a Belial;and Bob smelled like nothing terrestrial,therefore extremely pleasant indeed-but together in a small room it seemed to accentuate the negative quite a bit.Still,he'd smelled worse,and after a moment he got used to it. 

His eyes didn't need to adjust to the light;mostly soft yellow,it was hardly brighter than what the weak streetlights offered outside,and the dark wood paneling of the room seemed to absorb the light as soon as the rays reached it,so the bar almost seemed like its own pocket universe,a tiny rift in reality itself.It wouldn't surprise him if it actually was. 

It was remarkably empty for the time of night:some big horned demon sat at the far end of the bar,appearing to sulk,while maybe a handful of other demons sat mostly by themselves at the small circular tables scattered throughout the front room, nursing various drinks,some of which apparently contained blood. 

Anchoring the end of the bar nearest to him was a pair of girls who looked almost cherubic,far too young to be in here,but from the smell he knew they were vampires,so they probably weren't as young as they looked.They were exactly alike, identical twin brunettes with odd eyes and matching outfits,and they gave him a strangely sly smile (in stereo) as he walked past.They weren't ordinary vampires,he got that sense,but he wasn't completely sure what was so special about them.He gave them a warning scowl,in case they were planning to make a move on him,but their expressions didn't alter an iota,and they made no move to get off their bar stools. 

Sitting on a stool near the center of the horseshoe shaped padded bar was a young man with spiky black hair and a 'hipper than thou' outfit of a black mesh shirt and black leather pants swiveled towards him,a big wolfish grin on his reasonably handsome face."All right,a human."No amount of cologne could cover up the fact that he was a vampire too. 

But suddenly the girls at the end of the bar spoke up."No-"the first one (on the left) said. 

"-he's-"the second one said. 

"-the decapitator-"the first one continued.Was that some kind of act of theirs?Completing each other's sentences like that? 

"-he kills-" 

"-vampires quite easily." 

Logan held up his fist,and popped his claws briefly,just long enough for the cruising Spanish vampire to see them for himself."Shit,"he cursed,turning back to his glass of goat's blood despondently.Logan thought he heard him mutter under his breath:"How fucking typical.I hate L.A.." 

He wasn't alone. 

Lau,the huge Samoan guy who used to be the bouncer at the now defunct Robin Hood's was behind the bar,covering the graveyard shift (actually,that term now made sense),and while he was human,he was so massive even the vamps decided that he really wouldn't be worth the bother of trying to take him down.Also,he wore a wooden stake in an extremely visible shoulder holster on his left side,and there were the water guns full of holy water underneath the bar,and perhaps the most discouraging of all,he worked for Bob.Bob was the one guy you just didn't want to piss off in this town. 

"Usual?"Lau asked,cleaning a glass with a dishcloth. 

Logan nodded."Beer." 

There was something refreshing about dealing with naturally taciturn people. 

Lau put the glass away and retrieved a bottle of beer from the cooler beneath the bar,pausing only to pry the cap off.Logan had shifted his knapsack to his other shoulder to get his wallet,but Lau said,"On the house." 

"Since when?" 

Lau simply nodded his head back towards the end of the room,and Logan glanced over his shoulder to see Bob sitting at a back table with his silver iBook,within the colorful corona of shadows cast by the jukebox.Bob was staring intently at his computer screen and didn't look up,but he waved anyways,obviously aware Logan had spotted him. 

Logan grimaced,turning back only to give Lau a nod of thanks for the beer,and then grabbed the bottle and headed for the back.He might as well get this over with. 

He had sort of been avoiding Bob since he took him to Tokyo to see Mariko's grave.It wasn't personal,not really...okay, maybe it was.He didn't like being that emotionally naked in front of anyone,even a guy like Bob,who knew everything whether you liked it or not.It wasn't like Bob rubbed it in or anything,because that wasn't his way.He didn't even ask him if wanted to talk about it,because that was implicit.But it just made Logan uncomfortable.In fifteen years,he finds squat about his past-Bob blows in,and finds heaps in less than two months.It was so unfair.And he felt a sense of obligation to him for it, even though Bob insisted there was none.But why else would he help him so much?There was no such thing as a free ride. If there was a price,Logan just wanted him to cut the bullshit and name it:didn't mean he'd 'pay' it,but he wanted to know what it was.He didn't like being dicked around. 

Logan took the empty chair across from Bob and his computer,and once again,without looking up,Bob asked,"Bad dream?" 

"I don't wanna talk about it." 

"You never do." 

Logan scowled at him,but Bob didn't look up to see it. 

"Why are you here?"Logan wondered."I figured you'd be asleep or somethin'." 

"Or you wished I would be,"Bob replied,looking up and giving him a small,knowing smile.In the white light glow of the screen,Bob looked more unearthly than ever,the harsh illumination making his face look almost too perfect,as if it was a mask.Only his eyes,too blue to be real,seemed fitting."Well,like most demons,I have a natural tendency towards night owl-ness."Logan almost pointed out he wasn't a demon,but let it go."Besides,it's quiet at this time of night.It's prime demon hunting hours;our equivalent of rush hour.The patrons don't really start filing in 'til near sunrise." 

"Except for a few loser vampires,huh?" 

"Well,yes,but don't call the Weird Sisters losers.They're just humoring me." 

It wasn't hard to guess which ones were the Weird Sisters."Apt name.What's their deal?" 

"They're a vampire/human/Kral demon hybrid.An impossibility in humanoid form,and as deadly as hell.You rather hope they humor you,because otherwise you're pretty much a goner." 

"You got nothin' to worry about,though." 

"No,but I'm one of the few exceptions.I wouldn't let them hang around at all,but they seem to have a crush on me,and often give me news on some of the goings on in darker parts of the demon world.Such as now." 

Logan craned his neck,trying to see the screen,but it was such at an angle he couldn't see anything."Somethin' big?" 

"Maybe.I've been getting some strange reports from some of my mates in Oz-Australia-about certain types of demons showing up that have never appeared before,and serious psychic disturbances,so I asked the Sisters to see if they could find out if there was a major player on the Pacific Rim up to something." 

"And?" 

"I'm still collating the data.What they brought back doesn't make a hell of a lot of a sense when combined with everything else." 

Logan knew he should probably let it pass,but his curiosity always got the better of him,and besides,it kept Bob from talking about him."What do you got?" 

"Dimensional thinning along several ley lines in the Pacific,and some kind of demon uber-crime lord having some kind of ultimate fighting contest on his private island to find a champion.What the hell is the connection?" 

"You're asking me?"He paused,then asked,"Ley lines?" 

"Lines of mystical energy that run through the Earth." 

Logan wasn't sure if he was serious or bullshitting him again."So what's the island,and why's the guy want a champion?" 

"Island's called Dis,and I don't know why he wants a champion.Maybe he thinks he needs a bodyguard,or he just gets off on blood sports."The song on the jukebox had changed,and Bob began to sing along with it."I want somebody to shove,I need somebody to shove,I want somebody to shove me-" 

"I didn't know you had a theme song,"Logan said wryly,and Bob gave him a tiny smile."Dis-like to insult,or Dis like in Hell?" 

"Yes,"Bob agreed,still grinning. 

"Never heard of it." 

"You wouldn't-no human knows about it.It's a tiny blip in the ocean between Australia and East Timor,and is the only purely demon habitat I can think of.Well,beyond Disneyland.Not very human friendly." 

"Ever been there?" 

"Once.Pretty place,but kind of dull.At least when I was there.Maybe it's gotten more interesting since Volta bought it." 

"Volta?The big bad demon owner?" 


	2. Part 2

Bob nodded,adjusting something on his keyboard."The guy's a complete cipher,I've got nothing on him,which leads me to think it's a pseudonym.I'm trying to find a picture of him;the Weird Sisters said they don't know what kind of demon he is, they've never seen him."Nirvana's "Negative Creep" started playing,and giving him a sarcastic smirk,Bob said,"Now they're playing your theme song." 

He frowned at him."And don't you forget it." 

Bob chuckled faintly."You're such a dag,Logan." 

"A dag?Is that good or bad?" 

"In this context,good.But I'm not even gonna try and explain it." 

Logan took a swig from his beer and looked around the bar,only to find the Spanish vampire had left and the Weird Sisters were still looking at him,smiling in a predatory way.He wasn't sure if he should be unnerved or simply flattered at the amount of attention he was getting from them. 

"Holy shit,"Bob exclaimed,regaining Logan's attention. 

"What?" 

"I've got the connection.Check this out."Bob spun his iBook around to face him,and on the screen was something that looked like a meteorological map,with a segment of an island in the ocean-surrounded by several small blips of islands in a chain-converged on by several dark grey lines from over the ocean and intersected over the green topography of the tiny island.It looked like the entire island was fogged over. 

"Okay.What am I looking at-a tropical convergence zone?" 

"The decaying ley lines all meet there.Whatever's happening on Dis is causing the dimensional thinning,and it's occurring on such a massive scale that's it bleeding out along the lines and affecting other areas." 

Logan nodded,still not at all sure what it was he was seeing."Which means what,exactly?" 

"Which means there's a hell of a lot more going on than a rich guy entertaining himself with blood sports.I wonder if they're really sacrifices."Bob turned the computer back to face him,frowning in consternation. 

"So he's letting these people kill each other as a sacrifice to...what?His god?His insurance agent?" 

"To something that's causing the dimensions to erode unnaturally."Bob continued to scowl at the laptop as he quickly went to work on his keyboard."This is worse than I thought.This is some major shit going down." 

"Should we check it out?"Logan wondered,regretting it the moment he said it. 

He suddenly smelled the company,and looked up to see the appropriately named Weird Sisters flanking their table. 

"Volta-"the one behind Bob said. 

"-surrounds-"the one behind Logan continued. 

"-himself with-" 

"-Scanners.He-" 

"-hates telepaths.He-" 

"-won't allow them-" 

"-on his island." 

Bob cursed,continuing to work frantically on his keyboard."That means I'll probably get pegged the second I set foot on the island." 

"You're not a telepath,"Logan pointed out. 

"No-"the first sister agreed. 

"-he's-" 

"-better than-" 

"-that." 

Logan was almost used to this constant back and forth.The fact their voices were identical as well helped you get used to it. It was like a recording where the vocals had been split into separate channels."Scanners pick up psychic energy of any kind, and I'm kind of a psychic equivalent of a nuclear furnace,"Bob explained,a little line of concentration appearing between his eyebrows as he stared at the screen."I can avoid them for a little bit-I mean,they know I'm there but they can't pinpoint me- but if there's a lot of them I'm screwed.How many are we talking about,girls?" 

"Rumors-" 

"-are-" 

"-he's very-" 

"-paranoid.He-" 

"-has at least-" 

"-twenty five,but-" 

"-could have as many-" 

"-as many as forty." 

Bob shook his head,scowling in disappointment."Too many." 

"But does that matter?You can take care of almost any threat." 

"True,but tell me this:is it wise to go into strange territory blind?" 

Hell,he had him there."No,not at all.You need to know the lay of the land-no pun intended- and the exact nature and rough number of the enemies you're facing.Otherwise you're just asking to get killed." 

"Volta-" 

"-has-" 

"-ways of-" 

"-dealing with-" 

"-psychic threats." 

"What sort of ways?"Bob asked,never taking his eyes off the monitor. 

"We-" 

"-don't-" 

"-know.It's-" 

"-just what-" 

"-we heard." 

"And why we-" 

"-aren't going to-" 

"-to Dis." 

"Telepathic vampires?"Logan asked,not all that surprised.It explained how they always knew exactly what to say and when to say it. 

"It's-" 

"-a-" 

"-gift." 

Bob grimaced,but not at their words;he was reacting to what was on the screen."Girls,do you think you can get me a picture of Volta?" 

"Anything-" 

"-for-" 

"-you,Bob."They cooed,giving them both stereo creepy smiles. 

"Thanks bunches sweethearts.Try not to kill anyone." 

The one closest to Bob trailed her long,purple painted fingernails on the back of his neck as they both walked away,and Logan watched them go warily,not trusting them in the slightest. 

"I don't see why you don't stake them,or just tell them their dead,"he said sourly.One of them gave him a flirty wave as they left the bar. 

"I could,but honestly they're entertaining,and they're the only narcs I have that I know will be one hundred percent safe. Nobody messes with them." 

"And lives to tell about it?" 

Bob smirked at him before looking back down at the laptop."Something like that,I imagine.I have a 'don't ask,don't tell' policy." 

"Since when do you ever need to ask anyone anything?You just know." 

"Not true.Sometimes I need to ask." 

"When?" 

"If I run into an immune demon,like a Ressik,or a powerful telepath whose brains I don't want to blow out their ears." 

Logan took another pull off his bottle of beer,wondering why he even cared about this conversation.This had nothing to do with him,and honestly he still didn't completely understand what was going on."Why do you think this Volta is so paranoid about telepaths?" 

"My guess is he's up to something really foul,and doesn't want a teep-telepath in shorthand-to scan him and tip off the others.Also,he may want to guarantee real bloodshed in his champion contest." 

"I follow the first,I don't get the second." 

"A teep who knows how to do it can use their power in a-buzzword alert-proactive manner.They can counter any opponent's move before they make it by seeing it in their opponent's mind.A teep wouldn't have to kill,and would make short work of the others;there's no way to counter a telepath." 

"Sure there is.Act don't think:react,use your instincts,just let your body do the job.If you don't know what you're going to do,they sure as hell won't." 

Bob looked up and stared at him,not quite slack jawed but close."What?"Logan snapped,suddenly annoyed with him. 

"You know how to counter a telepath,"Bob said,somewhat awestruck. 

"No,I was just sayin'-" 

"Yes you do,"Bob interrupted,sounding as supremely sure of himself as always."No wonder the government wanted you to get Xavier for them.Not only did you have access,but it was possible he'd never see you coming." 

"I was just speculating-"Logan began,then stopped.He suddenly remembered his memory/nightmare,whatever the hell it was,and how he had thought he'd have to come up with a way to evade the telepaths,or he'd never escape.Escape and kill them all. 

He really had blown up the Alkali Lake compound,hadn't he?Rather than escape,which seemed impossible,he just destroyed the place,probably figuring (correctly) that he would survive.Or maybe by then he really didn't care if he survived or not. 

"It's easy to say,Logan,but do you know how hard it is to do that?To not think,just do?" 

"I never said I could do it,I'm just sayin'-" 

"You can do it,"Bob insisted."Wow.What led you to train yourself to do that?It must have taken ages."Logan just shrugged, not sure what to say,but before he could even try,Bob said,"No,I think I can guess." 

Bob then looked down,chagrined,and Logan felt a surge of anger,although he wasn't sure if it was for Bob or himself.He was just the perfect little killer,wasn't he?He could even be used against telepaths.No wonder there was a 'bidding war' for him.  
His stomach picked an opportune time to growl,and Bob,perhaps grateful for the subject change as well,said,"A friend of mine named Lily owns a diner on the next block.Nothing fancy,but it's open this time of morning,and anything's better than Denny's."He then gave him a big grin,his eyes bright with humor."Tell her you're a friend of mine,and you'll get a clean fork." 

Logan smirked back in spite of himself."Yeah,maybe I ought to go get somethin'." 

"I'll let you know if I find anything else on this guy or what the hell's going on.Got your cell phone?" 

"Nope.It's with my bike."He'd left his motorcycle in Bob's garage ever since some greasy moron actually tried to steal it. Since Bob's place was in walking distance,he could get it whenever he wanted it,and he now had 'security system clearance', but as he pointed out he had never needed it-he could get in one way or another. 

Bob frowned at him."You do that on purpose,don't you?" 

"Yep,"he admitted,shotgunning the rest of his beer before getting up.He had a mild,pleasant head rush,but it only lasted a few seconds.He was stone cold sober by the time he got to his feet.Damn. 

Bob gave him a teasing smile,and said,"You don't think you'll get away from me that easily,do you?" 

The thing was,that was hardly a joke at all. 

    2 

    Logan was just finishing his Spanish omelet when a familiar figured walked into the greasy spoon named (appropriately enough) The Last Resort Diner.Unless it was another Stansin demon,but he didn't think so.She smiled at him,confirming it was her,and headed towards his window booth at the back. 

Helga wasn't wearing much-a tight,sleeveless,red muscle tee,low slung khaki cargo shorts,and open toed sandals-but it seemed weather appropriate since it was still too damn hot,and only promised to get hotter.It wasn't time for sunrise yet,but the sky was lightening from hazy black to a hazy indigo,the light in the sky somehow tainted as if shining through a grey filter.The L.A. smog layer,he supposed. 

"Hey tiger,"she said casually,slipping into the tan vinyl booth across from him.She reached out and plucked a piece of tomato off his plate. 

"Hey,"he said,irritated,but he didn't actually care.It was the principal of the thing. 

Only a guy who looked like a long haul trucker,gulping coffee and speed along with his eggs and bacon at the counter, did a double take and stared at Helga.Everyone else was accustomed to the sight of a green woman with a tail,or things even stranger than that."Did Bob send you?"He asked,only for confirmation. 

To his surprise,she shook her head."No,he's still got his nose buried in his research.I thought I'd best leave him to it."He felt her leg rub against his beneath the table."You in the mood for some fun?I was thinking we could go for a swim." 

"Where?" 

"The pool.Bob's pool." 

"Bob has a pool?" 

"Yes,on the roof of his place.You haven't seen it?" 

He stared at her in disbelief."He has a pool on the roof?" 

"Oh yeah.It's really nice,and reinforced by a protection spell,so it never has to be cleaned." 

He wasn't sure if she was joking or not,but she kept rubbing her calf against his,and while it felt nice-Helga always felt nice- he couldn't quite shake the reality that she was Bob's girlfriend.That didn't seem to matter to either of them,but he didn't like being the third side in a triangle.Which,if he thought about it,was typical for him,so he should be used to it by now.  
"I think I'm a sinker anyways,"he finally said,pulling his leg back towards his seat."The metal skeleton and all." 

"Oh,come on,that only adds what,one hundred pounds to you?You're a strong boy,tiger-that ain't gonna stop you from keeping your head above water." 

He shrugged,finishing off his omelet.She probably had a point."I don't feel like swimming." 

She gave him a sultry,calculating smile."Neither do I."She then raised her dark green eyebrows in an exaggeratedly suggestive manner. 

He couldn't help but smile,although he felt Helga's foot gently nudge his under the table.She was not giving up.Then again, not giving up seemed hardwired into Helga's DNA.."Look,Hel,"he began,trying to think of a nice way to put it."It's not that I don't find you attractive-" 

"You should see me in my new Riviera bikini,"she interrupted,still smiling."You know why it's a Riviera?No top.Just a bottom piece."She then leaned over the table,and said in a whisper nearly drowned by the air conditioner:"Although that's optional." 

He could just picture that,and he didn't want to because that was counter-productive.Fun though.Very fun... 

He shook his head,banishing the nude Helga image in his mind,and tried to say it again."I know you guys have some kind of 'open relationship',but I'm not-" 

"No commitment,"she said,reaching across the table and caressing the back of his hand with her cool fingers,her deep green eyes locked onto his."No dates,no angst,just sex.What do you say,Logan?" 

'Yes please,' was the first thing that popped to mind,and if he was to be completely honest,having a roll in the hay with Helga (or pool,as the case may be) sounded like what the doctor ordered.He could burn off some of this excess energy,and he'd probably get some decent sleep afterwards too.He could live with the additional guilt. 

Helga quirked up the corner of her mouth,apparently picking up his slow shift on the subject,and said,"So you wanna blow this pop stand,tiger?" 

Before he could say a world,Helga's cell phone rang. 

She sighed,rolling her eyes as she pulled the small phone out of her pocket and flipped it open."This better be good,"she said,the petulant look on her face quickly dissipating."Oh,hi honey." 

Bob.Oh god,could this get any worse? 

"What?"She said to him.If Logan really let go he would be able to hear Bob's end of the conversation,but he'd also hear all the ambient noise in this place with crystal clarity,including people digesting their heavy meals at Dolby sound levels.For some bizarre reason,that held no appeal at all."Oh,I had just about talked Logan into having sex with me." 

She did not just say that.No,she could not have! 

He smelled as well as felt the shadow of the slightly haggard looking but attractive black waitress who had served him,and had heard what Helga said.Everyone in a twenty foot radius had heard what Helga said.The waitress raised a single eyebrow as she put his check down on the table,and said,"Better luck next time,sailor." 

Logan buried his face in his hands,and wondered if there was enough room under the table for him.Maybe he could dig his way out of this fucking diner... 

"But he's dead,"Helga said,her voice all business.That made Logan forget his embarrassment-momentarily-and look at her. 

He mouthed the word 'who',but she just shook her head curtly:'Not now'."Shit.Yeah,we're on our way.Hmm?No,don't worry,I'll get a raincheck."She then closed the phone,and told him,"Trouble at the Batcave,Robin.We gotta jet." 

"Who's dead?And what kind of trouble?" 

"Oh,the usual shit,"she said cryptically,then picked up the check and waved it to get the counterwoman's attention. 

"Pilar,put this on Bob's tab."The woman nodded,and Helga crumpled up the bill in her fist before continuing"You know, end of the world as we know it,blah blah blah." 

"Oh,that shit again?"Logan replied sarcastically.Actually,it was getting a bit wearying.Didn't crazed megalomaniac have something better to do?Hadn't they ever heard of hobbies?If they had a Helga around,it would never even occur to them to destroy the world-they'd be perfectly happy with this one. 

As they got up to leave,he just had to ask:"If I'm Robin,does that make you Batgirl?" 

"Oh no,honey,I'm Catwoman."She then spun around and came face to face with him,gently catching his lower lip between her teeth before letting it go."I'm so bad I'm good."She then smacked him on the ass with the end of her tail before giving him a big smile and wink and continuing to lead him out the door. 

The trucker,nursing his third cup of coffee,gave him the 'thumbs up' sign. 

Logan shook his and sighed.He thought all that crap at Xavier's mansion was weird.Now that seemed hilariously naive of him.But he had to cut himself a bit of slack:he'd had no memory of ever being in Los Angeles. 

** 

    By the time they got back to the Way Station,Bob had retreated to his claustrophobic back office,and he seemed deceptively casual,his feet propped up on one corner of his desk as he leaned back in his chair,but Logan almost suspected he was just showing off his natty snakeskin boots. 

The Weird Sisters weren't here,but he knew they had been not too long ago by the smell.And Bob just seemed cool because he was cool,but there was something restless beneath his sanguine expression."Here's Volta.Or should I say the man who goes by the name of Volta,"Bob said,turning the computer around to face them. 

What he saw was a man whose face might have been carved from granite:the planes of his face seemed too sharp,his cheekbones like cut glass,his nose like a blade,his eyes like two black holes punched through stone,and his skin even had the pale grey coloring of rock.What hair he had was steel grey and plastered to his skull;Logan wasn't sure it was actually hair. His lips were so thin and strange they resembled nothing more than two bluish grey worms attempting to burrow into his stoney face.He didn't look like a human attempting to look like the Tin Man;even though he couldn't quite point to it, there was something deeply unnatural-inhuman-about Volta's face.He wondered if he smelled as bad as he looked.It was rare that they didn't. 

"Chaos demon,"Helga said,as if everyone should know that."But why do you think-" 

He didn't let her finish the sentence."Here."He hit a button on the keyboard,and Volta's face seemed to morph.His sharply jutting forehead seemed to sink back into a scalp that now had oil black hair,while his razor sharp cheekbones seemed to recede into a slightly puffier face,his skin losing it severe tautness and his dramatically pointed nose swelling to a slightly wider,blunter tip.His eyes,like the two holes in a bowling ball,remained as they were,and they were all black pits,with no white to be had. 

"Shit,why didn't I see it before?"Helga said. 

"I almost didn't either,"Bob admitted,grimacing ruefully."I think he changed his appearance with a combination of plastic surgery and black magic:it's almost like the eyes want to slide off his face." 

"Who is this clown?"Logan wondered,already growing impatient with being left out of the loop. 

"A  piece of bad news who used to be named Svalt Renpin,"Bob told him,turning the screen back towards him. 

"That can't be his real name." 

"Unfortunately it was.Maybe that's what turned him into such a twisted fuck." 

"He's supposed to be dead?" 

"Yes.I killed him...oh,going on almost seventy five years ago now." 

"Way before my time,"Helga admitted,leaning back against a crate with a 'hazardous nuclear materials' sticker on it.That was just Bob being funny again,right? 

Bob nodded in agreement."He considered himself a black magician of a sort,although he was never very good at it.So he cut a deal with Arakis,the mother of all Pain demons,to help bring her into this dimension and open a very literal hell on Earth.He'd have had unlimited power,courtesy of her,if he broke the barrier that kept Arakis and her various ugly minions from invading this dimension.If he had succeeded,you could have kissed the entire human race goodbye:Pain demons look a lot like veloceraptors,only bigger,meaner,and uglier,although Arakis is more Godzilla sized,and Berserker like." 

"Cute.So what happened?" 

Bob sighed,running his hand through his golden brown hair,somehow managing to ruffle it just so that it looked styled.     "He needed a massive blood and psychic sacrifice to help open the portal between Arakis's place and here,so it wasn't too hard to track him down and figure out what he was up to.Course,he picked the Outback,because it was hot like Arakis's plane-less of a transitional shock-and who was going to disturb him in all that nothing?" 

"You,"Logan pointed out.It seemed pretty obvious. 

Bob smiled proudly."Absolutely.Well,what else did I have to do out there?" 

"Please don't try the humble thing,"Helga warned him. 

That just made Bob's smile even broader."Well,to make a long story short,I almost got there too late to save the drowning witch-he already had started attempting to open the portal in the mirror." 

"The mirror?"Logan asked. 

"He was opening the portal in a special enchanted mirror,which was integral to the whole sacrifice thing.Well,that's the long and complicated part of the story.Do you want to hear it?" 

"No." 

"Fair enough.So anyways he was starting to try and open the portal,and I knew without a spellcaster the thing would never stand,so I shoved him into it.The portal collapsed,the mirror went back to being a mirror,and to prevent any other moron from trying it or something similar,I busted the mirror into a billion pieces,frame included." 

"Seven years bad luck,"Helga teased. 

"With Ganesha on your side,there's no such thing as bad luck,"Bob countered,smiling back at her."Anyways,that should have been the end of that,but for some demons death is just a temporary condition." 

"But you shoved him into the portal,right?Doesn't that mean he just went somewhere else?"Logan asked,struggling to understand it all.He really didn't follow all of this other dimensions stuff,but why the hell couldn't it be true?Life was so fucking strange. 

"No,the portal was unstable,so it's the equivalent of shoving someone into an unstable wormhole;tidal forces on the event horizon would tear them apart.And did,in Svalt's case." 

"Since when did you become a physics expert,Doctor Hawking?" 

Bob smirked,not quite laughing but almost."It behooves me to know these things." 

"An Aussie who uses 'behoove' correctly in a sentence.We should call Guinness Book."Helga said,continuing to tease Bob. 

"Too right,Bruce,"he replied,giving her a wink. 

"Okay,so somehow this guy is back,"Logan said,feeling like he was taking a major leap of faith."You think he's trying to open this pain dimension again?" 

Bob shook his head,leaning back in his chair and finally taking his boots off the desk."No,that wouldn't be causing degradation along the ley lines.Whatever he's doing now,it's bigger than just opening the pain dimension.He would also have to be more powerful than the was last time we met." 

"It explains why he's surrounded himself with Scanners,"Helga opined,crossing her arms over her chest.It was so cool in here he could see goosebumps on her arms."He doesn't want a rematch with you." 

"My thought exactly.And I bet he has more than just Scanners waiting to greet me too." 

Logan knew he'd regret saying it,he knew he shouldn't say it,but he gritted his teeth and did it."Maybe we should check it out." 

"I'm glad you said that,"Bob admitted,with a strange amount of hesitation.That alone made Logan instantly wary,as Bob was not the type to doubt himself about anything."I need to ask a favor of you,Logan." 

Logan already knew."You want me to go to Dis." 

"You can't go,"Helga said instantly."You're Human.No offense,hon." 

How was that offensive exactly?Oh,wait,the crankhead pimp."None taken." 

"He can get an invitation,"Bob said,grimacing."According to the Weird Sisters,he has an 'agent' in the area,a vampire looking for good 'prospects' in his champion contest.He approached them,unaware they were telepathic and only worked as a team.They turned him down,but they did find out they will let mutants into the contest only if they're a big bad ass." 

"I am." 

Bob grinned broadly."I know.But if you want to get his attention you're gonna have to go out and prove it." 

"We'll have to go,"Helga insisted."Logan's no demon expert,but I am." 

"Hel,"Bob said pleadingly."I know you can handle yourself,but-" 

"I used to be an assassin,Bob.'Handle myself' is putting it mildly." 

"We'll watch each other's back,"Logan offered.He really wanted to do this on his own,but Helga could handle herself,and she did know more about demons and this hoodoo voodoo bullshit than he did. 

Bob gave him a look that seemed to say 'please do'."You'll have to.I really don't want ya to do this,Logan.Even if you do get the invite,this is bound to be rough and bloody." 

Logan smiled grimly,although honestly he felt somewhat weary of it all.His whole life boiled down to a series of big,endless battles."Sounds like fun." 

** 

    Really,it was a hell of a way to spend a day. 

All in all,she really would have rather spent the day in bed,but beating the shit out of people and tearing up cheap dives was an adequate substitute if sex was absolutely out of the question.And it seemed to be,at least for now,although she had hoped that later they'd make up for it.Certainly a good fight made Logan as randy as it made her-that's what she loved about him. 

They left the remains of the Ram's Head bar,which for all it's supposed Wolfram and Hart connections was still a complete and utter dive frequented by losers kicked out of every other place.As soon as Logan heard there was a Wolfram and Hart connection,he quickly went about trashing the interior,and doing major damage to a retaining wall.Obviously he had no love lost for them either. 

They had spent all day pretty much just smashing stuff:frequenting the worst parts of town and picking fights with large groups of people (mostly demons) that looked one sided,and were.They never had much trouble kicking everyone's scrawny ass.In fact,the problem was by noon they were running out of places,so they had to slow down and pace themselves. 

Lunch,dinner,a movie (he wouldn't go for a blockbuster,but he was tempted by a run down theater in the Asian quarter showing untranslated chop sockey flicks from Hong Kong.Logan was probably even more surprised than she was that he could instantly translate everything that was being said-yet another language he didn't know he knew) and several drinks helped them keep the mayhem running until sunset,when their best time to encounter Volta's vampire agent was.It would have been nice if they found time for a quickie,but Logan was afraid he'd fall asleep after and be groggy later:better to remain awake and be totally pissed off.Also,although he didn't say it,the guilt thing was clearly back in full force.She was going to have to work on that again later. 

Really,this was like a great date.Even though Helga knew dry cleaning would never get all the blood out,this had been a hell of a lot of fun.Logan knew how to show a girl a good time...well,if she was into breaking shit.Luckily,she was. 

They climbed out of the rubble of the Ram's Head,leaving a collection of groaning demons and humans in their wake (if they were both conscious enough and able to groan),and they brushed broken glass off each other as she watched a bloody cut on his forehead instantly heal itself up."So where to next?"He asked,unconcerned about his injuries.Why did he ever need to care? 

"Well,we could probably get a drink at the Roadhouse on La Cienda,but I warn you,that bouncer always tries to cop a feel on me." 

Logan smirked,which always looked kind of sexy on him."Let's see him do it with a broken arm." 

"Ooh,you're a mean bastard,"she replied,wrapping her tail around his waist.He put an arm around her shoulders too,as they had decided presenting themselves as a couple was the best way to go.Well,no one would ever believe they were related."No wonder I like you so much." 

She leaned into him,enjoying his smell of beer and blood and cigar smoke,and wondered if there was any place they could hit after the Roadhouse.Maybe they should stop for a drink on the way.Did Logan play pool?Maybe she could challenge him to a game.The sky was a wonderful bloody sort of crimson,an only in 'L.A. with this kind of smog' sky,yet not quite close enough to sundown for the vampires to hit the streets. 

Well,the main streets.But several alleys were all right for skulking,and as they came within several feet of one,Logan leaned in as if kissing her ear,and whispered,"Vamp ahead." 

What a nose he had.It had to drive him crazy sometimes to smell that well,especially near landfills and men's rooms. 

"So what are you two supposed to be?The two thousand two model Bonnie and Clyde?"An Australian man drawled from the mouth of the dark alley as they were just walking by.Bob had taken her back home enough that she recognized his accent as coming from Northwest Australia,where there was a hell of a lot of nothing. 

They both paused and looked into the alley.After their eyes adjusted to the dark,they could see a lanky redheaded man in a dark trenchcoat leaning up against the wall,lighting up a cigarette. 

His lighter flared,briefly illuminating his pale face,and he puffed lazily on his cigarette,which stank like a menthol.That proved he was a tasteless bastard."Who the fuck wants to know?"Logan snarled.They'd had no discussion on how to handle Volta's vampire lackey when they encountered him,but Logan had good instincts,and you could never go wrong with plain old belligerence. 

The vampire smirked smugly at him,not aware he was treading on dangerous ground."You're a bloody human.Man,how disappointing is that?" 

Logan moved fast,grabbing Red by the collar so fast he couldn't react,and slamming him against the opposite wall so hard his cigarette was ejected from his mouth like a heat seeking missile."And you're a fucking blood sucker.How dead are you?" 

"That's a rather personal question,"Red rasped,grabbing Logan's arm.Logan was keeping the vamp pinned to the wall with a single hand around his throat,which should have been nothing for a vamp,but Logan was not only pouring on the strength (which was pretty formidable,for a human) but he had 'locked' his elbow,which meant an adamantium 'rod' was also holding Red in place.Vlad wasn't going anywhere.And after trying in vain to rip Logan's hand away from his throat,he seemed to realize that too."Look,I have a proposition for you." 

"You ain't my type,"Logan growled. 

"Cute.No,listen-how good a fighter do you think you are?" 

"I'm the best." 

"Willing to prove it?" 

Logan scoffed in his face."Against you?You'll be dust in a second." 

"Against people better than you." 

"No one's better than me." 

"Want to put your money where your mouth is,tough guy?" 

Helga put her hand on Logan's arm,supposedly restraining him."How much money are we talking about?" 

"Get 'im to put me down first,"he replied impatiently,his face starting to turn ruddy from the struggle to pry Logan's hand off his throat. 

With reluctance,Logan let him go,although he kept close to him,threatening him with just his proximity.That was enough. "Talk,"Logan barked,still leaning heavily on the belligerence tip. 

Red rolled his shoulders and straightened out his coat,smoothing down the front of his rumpled 'Bite Me' t-shirt and attempting to assume an air of tattered dignity as best he could.It was difficult,because he didn't have much dignity to begin with."I work for a gentleman-a wealthy gentleman-who is searching for the greatest fighter this dimension has to offer." 

"Get to the money part,"Helga urged. 

"Winner gets ten million dollars,"Red immediately obliged. 


	3. Part 3

"Bullshit,"Logan snapped,clearly as surprised as she was.If that was true,a purse that huge would bring in everybody who could hijack a plane or teleport between worlds.Of course, they'd have to know about it,and get past Volta's people- she'd heard since he took over,the island was exactly 'open access' to demons anymore.It was like an exclusive nightclub:you had to know someone to get in the door. 

"I wouldn't fuck with you,mate,"Red said,as smarmy as any salesman.But she was inclined to believe him,if only because Logan's strength had genuinely startled him.One of the few perks of vampdom was supposed to be being one of the strongest fuckers in the room at any given time."The ultimate champion gets ten mill,cash American." 

"It's to the death,isn't it?"Logan asked gruffly,obviously suspicious of this whole deal.But that was good,it made the whole thing seem realistic. 

"Mostly.Doesn't have to be.Up to the winners." 

"There's gotta be a catch,"she insisted,doing her part."Do you have to fight an entire horde of Berserkers or something?" 

"Berserkers are pussies,"Logan interjected,sounding like he meant it.Surely he did. 

Red squinted at Logan,his blue eyes scouring the mutant's face,and finally he said,"Hey,is your name Logan?" 

Logan just glared at him."What the fuck difference does that make?" 

"Whoa-you must be Logan the Berserker Slayer!I thought you were an urban legend!" 

Logan's glare amped up into a  glower that was toxic enough to make Red attempt to step back,but since he was already flush with the wall that was impossible."I mean,that's pretty cool.Hardly anyone can handle a Berserker,you know.Nasty buggers." 

"Get to the point,"Logan snarled,acting like he was losing his tenuous patience.Or maybe he really was losing his patience:he was so good at this it was hard to tell."What's the catch?" 

"No catch.You just have to face all challengers until you lose.There's no backing out once you're in." 

"Lose,"she repeated."You mean die." 

"Or get defeated.As I said,they ain't all to the death." 

"Just most,"she shot back. 

"So this really is some stupid shit 'Gladiator' type thing,"Logan grumbled,sounding disappointed. 

"But for ten mil,quite a deal.I'd be in it if I didn't know I'd get my ass kicked." 

"But that's it?One guy wins,gets the money,and walks?You expect me to believe that?"Logan persisted,playing the cantankerous asshole to perfection.She had to concede it probably wasn't an act. 

"Well,you get to work for the boss as his champion,but it pays real well,and you wouldn't believe the perks.Cool job if you can hack it." 

"So basically it's a job interview,"Logan muttered,rolling his eyes. 

"Where is this all going on,and why haven't we heard of it before?"She asked,continuing to play her part. 

"It's only on a 'need to know' basis,darling,"Red said,giving her a  grin that he probably thought was roguish.She got the impression he was actually going to try and flirt with her any second now.How dumb was this guy?"And I can't tell you where it's all going down until you agree.Security an' all." 

Obviously he was unaware that Bob already got that information,but hell,he was Bob-if he wanted to know something there was no way you could hide it from him,no matter how good your security. 

Logan pretended to think about it,never letting go of his dubiousness,and finally said, "We're in.Where is it?" 

"Both of you?"He replied,shocked,looking between them."Ya know,the fights ain't segregated." 

"Meaning what?"Logan snapped. 

"Meanin' if you both get in and survive,you may have to fight each other." 

They both glanced at each other,and Logan said,"I can take her," at the same time she said, "I can take him." 

They both looked at each other once again,with a veiled glance that seemed to say,"You're kidding,right?" 

Red simply shrugged."Up to you two."He reached inside his coat,and seemed to notice how Logan stiffened,because he instantly said,"I'm just getting the card you guys will need,that's all." 

Logan nodded,but continued to watch him with intense scrutiny.Red slowly pulled out what looked like a regular white business card,only it was barren of everything,even a logo.He flipped it over,and there was something scrawled on the back in deep black ink:'Coventry Garden',613 River Avenue'.Helga thought she knew the place. 

"This fight's taking place in a New Age aromatherapy shop?"She asked,with an incredulous scoff. 

"No,that's the transfer point to the island." 

"What island?"Logan asked. 

"A place called Dis.Bet ya never heard of it." 

"It rings a bell,"Helga noted drolly.That went over Red's head. 

The vampire held up the card,and said,"Know the place?" 

"I said I did,"she replied,not even trying to hide her annoyance. 

Red nodded,and then snapped his fingers,tossing the card into the air.It almost instantly burst into flame,becoming a thin sliver of ash that wafted down like a tiny flurry of black snow. 

"Cute trick,"Logan said."Should a vamp play with fire?" 

"It was an enchanted card,"she told him."Not his trick." 

Red gave her an approving smile."Too right,sweetheart.Show up at two o'clock in the morning,and don't be late.We got a limited window." 

"Window for what?"Logan asked."Teleport?" 

Red smiled like he found that really amusing."Somethin' like that.You'll see.Oh,and don't worry about bringin' anything,the boss will see to your needs." 

"All of them?"Helga asked,with a  suggestive lilt to her voice.She wrapped her tail possessively around Logan's waist,and pulled him back from Red,so he'd have room to leave.Logan probably wanted to dust him,but until she knew if they needed him for passage or not,they'd best keep him alive.So to speak. 

Red's smile became lascivious,and he looked her up and down,undressing her with his eyes.She'd have broken his nose for it,but again,they might need him.As soon as he was expendable,he was in for a world of hurt."Oh yeah,darlin'.Don't you worry about it." 

The vampire then walked away,down the end of the alley,and disappeared into the creeping darkness.They waited a long moment before Logan said,quietly,"Something stinks to high heaven about this." 

"I know.But we'll crack this thing wide open soon enough,tiger."She slid her arm inside of his,and said,"Come on,let's tell Bob we made contact." 

Logan grunted in reluctant agreement,and let her steer him away from the alley mouth,and back onto the street.The first part was over-now the really hard part was about to begin. 

    3 

    In spite of his clear instructions to wake him up if it looked like he was starting to doze off,both Helga and Bob seemed to have better things to do,because they let him. 

Logan jolted awake in the chair where he had unexpectedly nodded off,wondering if he had had yet another memory,or a dream.It was so weird he wasn't sure. 

He was standing on what appeared to be a shore,and in spite of low lying fog on the water he saw,off to his far right,the skeletal frame of a large bridge:his mind seemed to insist it was the Golden Gate Bridge down in San Francisco,but had he ever been in San Francisco? Anyways,he was standing on a  sliver of shoreline,more rocky outcropping than sand, talking to someone in the water.Literally:someone was standing about chest deep in the cold,grey water of the Bay.He could not recall if it was a man or a woman,and he could recall no details of the conversation-in fact,the whole dream had been silent,as if he had been deafened again.He knew they were speaking,but his mind could not even recall his own voice.So was it a memory,half formed at best,or just a bizarre dream? 

When your mind was shattered and your recall simply fragments,how could you tell? 

Irritated at not only falling asleep but waking up to such a psychological poser,he checked his watched and saw they only had about twenty five minutes to get down to River Avenue ...wherever that was.All he knew was it wasn't in one of the lower class areas of L.A.,where he felt the most anonymous. 

He found Bob and Helga in his office;Logan had been in what Bob called the "back of the back",a sort of private den that Bob liked to use as a 'decompression' area in the bar.Logan had been reading up on Volta nee Renpin,and Chaos demons in particular.All he could figure was the demons lived up to their name:they caused trouble wherever they went. According to Bob they "felt the entropy in the universe,and adept ones can learn to manipulate it for their own ends",but honestly Logan had no idea what the fuck that was supposed to mean. 

The most important thing was physically they were not very strong;the most remarkable thing about them was their skin was very much like thick ceramic,according to Bob.They were almost impervious to all weather and temperature conditions, and Bob was pretty sure they could survive in the vacuum of space,although he didn't know for sure.Bob didn't know if they'd 'break',but Logan was eager to find out if he could crack one like a mirror. 

He stalked in,and after taking a look at him,Bob said,"Even you need some sleep sometime." 

Logan just glared at him."Just 'cause you know everything doesn't mean you know anything about me." 

"I think I can find a flaw in that sentence,"Helga replied.She was sitting on the edge of his desk,one of her favorite spots.She seemed to prefer tables and desks over chairs,possibly because none made any accommodations for her tail. 

"No,he's correct,"Bob told her,much to his surprise.He was in his usual seat,behind the desk."I know more about him than he knows,but not as much as I'd like." 

Logan continued to stare at him.That almost made sense.He shook his head,not interested in having an elliptical argument with Bob that would probably (knowing him) never quite make the sense it should,and looked to Helga instead."Don't we have some place we have to be?" 

"Don't worry,hon,we'll get there in time." 

"I don't want to get there in time.I want to get there early and check the place out." 

Bob smirked,planting his hands firmly on the desk before levering himself up to his feet. "You've got to respect a man's paranoia.Come on,love,let's saddle up." 

"I thought we were going to check out the aromatherapy place,"she replied,giving him a lascivious grin. 

Bob winked at her,and rubbed his hands together eagerly."When you get back,I'll have the spurs ready." 

"I'll be waiting outside,"he snapped,turning to go.Obviously they thought their banter was funny,but he wasn't in the mood for it.At least he hoped it was simply banter. 

"Mister Grumpy,"Helga commented."We never should have let him sleep.Is he worse when he sleeps?I swear he's the opposite of most people." 

"I'm a mutant,"he shot back at her from the doorway."Of course I am." 

Helga met his eyes,frowning sourly."That's not what I meant,and you know it." 

"Come on-I don't need you two at each other's throats right now,"Bob said calmly, pretending to be the voice of reason.And maybe he was:Logan just felt wound really tight and wanted to just get on with all of this.It was better to do something and be too busy to think about anything,nonetheless the butchered,surrealistic nightmare of his own past. 

He had to remind himself the only concrete evidence he had of his own past seemed to indicate he was a killer;circumstantial evidence pointed to the fact that he had worked for the very people that had mutilated him.He didn't know which was worse: the fact that he just might be a deeply evil man,or the possibility that he was simply a very stupid man. Maybe a combination of both,and wasn't that the worst of all possible worlds? 

Before he could escape out into the hall,Bob looked at him,and said with great sincerity, "I'm sorry,Logan." 

He almost asked for what,but when it came down to it,he didn't dare.He decided to pretend it was an apology for letting him sleep."Just don't let it happen again,"he said,and then went into the hall,heading out towards the bar.He just needed to throw himself into something and start the forgetting now. 

Bob and Helga  soon followed him out,strangely somber,and they went out to Bob's beloved GTO 'muscle' car,parked off in the neighboring alley and concealed by a small glamour,so only Bob could actually see it.Still,Logan knew where it was-he coughed,and listened for where the sound seemed to 'rebound',because sound did 'bounce' off objects,as sonar proved.Of course most humans couldn't do that,as they didn't hear that subtle shift, that slight alteration of sound and air waves when impacting an object,but he was not most humans. 

Briefly he wondered how he knew to 'find' objects he couldn't see or smell,but that was yet another thing he had no answer for.It seemed like reflex,but who the hell knew what it really was.Certainly not him. 

Bob drove,Helga  sitting next to him in the passenger seat,while Logan sat in the back, trying to will himself to be patient,be calm.He was pretty sure he could do it;he seemed to remember a little something about what Bob described as Zen meditation techniques,and while Logan assumed that was some residue of his samurai training,he still couldn't quite believe that shit.There was no fucking way he was an actual 'samurai',whatever the hell that actually was-where had that shit come from?Maybe he had been delusional as well as evil and stupid.The great insanity triumvirate. 

Bob,of course,sang on the way;luckily it was a short drive.He swore he sang along with "Everything's Zen" to mock his thoughts,the second song was probably worse-a song with the wonderful title of "Prison Sex"."It took so long to remember just what happened.I was so young and vestal then,"Bob crooned with a sort of unnerving cheerfulness,as he did a u-turn and cut down a  street that intersected with River Avenue.There was no sense in announcing their presence just yet."You know it hurt me,but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive,even if signs seem to tell me otherwise-" 

"You'd think a  song with sex in the title would be cheerier,"Helga noted wryly,tapping Bob's shoulder with the tip of her tail. 

Bob grinned as he parked the car in front of a lamp post bearing the sign 'No parking at any time',killing the engine and thankfully the radio at the same time."The Tool boys saw the grunge angst challenge,and decided instead to be morbid.Can you blame them?" 

"Yes,"Logan said,getting out of the car.Actually,he kind of liked Tool-good aggressive music to spar to-but he just felt wildly combative tonight.That was probably going to serve him in good stead in Dis,if that was in fact where he and Helga were going. 

"I think Logan needs a Prozac,"Helga opined,also getting out of the car.When he scowled at her,she gave him an exaggerated scowl back,probably mimicking him,and then grinned broadly,obviously not taking him seriously. 

"Actually,I think he needs a  vacation.Perhaps on a desert aisle full of asses in desperate need of kicking-oh hey."Bob then gave him his patented shit eating grin,and gave him a wink as he climbed out of the car and kicked the door shut."Funny how the world works sometimes,isn't it?" 

Logan sighed,ready to give up."Can we just get this over with?" 

Bob nodded,and then held out his arm in a sweeping gesture towards a back alley that cut directly over onto River. "Absolutely.Come on people,let's get stupid." 

Helga  gave him an amused grin for that,but Logan just shook his head wearily."You know, I know a  man with poison fingernails,a woman who channels electricity like a gigantic circuit,a vampire who claims to have a soul,and a guy who shoots beams out his eyeballs, and yet somehow,Bob,you are the strangest person I have ever met." 

Bob smiled broadly,as if that had been a compliment."If it's anything,Logan,you're the strangest person I've ever met.I mean,a human with claws-what's up with that?" 

Logan turned away and flipped him the middle finger over his shoulder as he started down the trash strewn alley (better part of the city or not,it still had litterers).He heard Bob laugh heartily,and he wondered if he would ever get that man's sense of humor. 

Not quite two in the morning,these streets were quiet,but you could hear the echos from distant streets:revving engines, loud drunks,the usual collateral noise of people having a much better time than you were. 

River seemed to be a 'boutique' street,lined with small shops striving to be 'quaint',and the mother of all 'quaint' stores, Hallmark,held down the end of the block,the store looking as graceful as a water buffalo next to all these dainty shops with small front windows and delicate,decorative awnings.Logan could almost feel the sugar coma coming on. 

But the funniest thing of all was all this sugar coating couldn't quite hide the malevolence underneath.In fact,he heard this tiny noise,so high pitched even he could barely hear it,and it seemed to cut deep into his brain like a dentist's drill.There was something so intrinsically wrong with that noise that it sent a chill down his spine,even though he wasn't sure why. 

He shook his head,trying to banish the noise,and Bob asked,"What's wrong?" 

"Don't you hear that?" 

He cocked his head and attempted to listen,as did Helga,but after a moment Bob shrugged helplessly."Sorry mate,I'm getting bupkis.But I am feeling...something weird." 

"Like what?" 

Bob had to think about that,his brow furrowing in concentration,as Helga looked between them dubiously."You know,you both could be just nuts." 

Logan took a deep breath,scenting their surroundings,and along with the usual Los Angeles stink,there was something else lingering in the warm night air.It was like ozone and sulphur,but it wasn't quite either. 

"Insanity is the easy way out,"Bob quipped,before scratching his head."I think there must be a Chaos demon around,or a sorceress-I'm picking up a major disturbance." 

"In what,Yoda?The Force?"Logan snapped,still trying to figure out what he was smelling.He didn't like it,he knew that much. 

"Crabby you are,"Bob replied."Crusin' for a brusin' you are." 

Helga laughed,and when Logan shot Bob a dirty look,even he looked like he was trying to keep from laughing at his own joke.Man,how did he ever end up stuck with the spaz brigade?Oh,wait-they were back in New York.Okay,the L.A. branch of the spaz brigade. 

"A disturbance in the fabric of reality,mate,"Bob said,managing only to snicker."Maybe that's what you're hearing." 

Even Helga gave him a funny look for that."Dimensional rifts make noise?" 

Bob shrugged."Well,I've never heard one,but we don't hear as well as Logan.It's possible they do make a noise,but it's too faint for most of us to pick up." 

That sounded doubtful even to Logan,but the noise-as well as the smell-seemed to be emanating from the shop with 'Coventry Garden' scrawled across its front window in pseudo-calligraphy script,a tiny store with a pink and purple awning,wedged between a used bookstore and a shop selling Japanese anime. 

There didn't seem to be anyone else in the street,and whatever security precautions it had were so low tech he wasn't picking them up from here."The coast is clear,"he told them."But I don't trust it." 

"Don't blame you,"Bob said."Neither do I." 

"For once,wouldn't it be nice if something that looked clear actually was?"Helga commented wearily. 

Logan shrugged."It would,but then we'd be normal people with normal lives." 

"Normality sucks,"she replied,obviously meaning it.Logan would never know,so he figured he'd have to take her word for it. 

They crossed the darkened street,illuminated only by the headlights of passing cars bouncing off dead windows at the end of the block,and Bob trailed behind the both of them,trying to be a living shadow.If anyone could be,it was him. 

When they reached the glass door of the shop,they saw a pair of glowing red eyes swim out of the darkness inside the store,and ogle them through the window."I'm not here,"Bob pointed out,and surely that was true. 

A visage sort of formed in the darkness,broad and oval,and either he had a very bad skin condition,or a kiln had blown up in his face."Names?"He hissed/growled,sounding like a  snake with a  sore throat. 

"Logan and Helga,"Logan said,only then remembering that Helga had never told Red his name.But Red knew his name,and hopefully that would be good enough. 

After a moment,it was.They heard scrabbling against the glass,and a gnarled hand undid the locks.The door swung open, revealing nothing but a deeper darkness beyond. 

But the smell was so overwhelming it hit him like a punch to the face,and he staggered back a step,trying not to gag. "What?"Helga asked suspiciously,giving the mutilated Igor the evil eye. 

"God,it fucking stinks in there,"he said,trying to breathe through his mouth,but that didn't help much.The smell of lavender and rosemary and about two dozen other very pungent herbs seemed to stab through his sinus cavities like icepicks.If smell could be used as a weapon,he was about to go down for the count. 

"It's an aromatherapy shop,"Igor hissed."It always stinks." 

Helga put a comforting hand on his shoulder."Think you're going to make it,tiger?" 

He nodded,for the first time in his life feeling like he was in true mortal danger of tossing his cookies.He wasn't even sure his body was capable of vomiting."Yeah.I'll hold my breath." 

"I was wondering if this might pose a hindrance to you,"Bob admitted. 

"Thanks for the warning,Chester." 

"My name isn't Chester,"Igor snapped,having not heard Bob at all.But of course he wasn't here,and the invisible didn't talk. 

Logan leaned over and rested his hands on his knees,waiting for the strange,almost alien sense of nausea to wash through him,and Bob stepped forward and said,"Is there a psi detector on the premise?" 

Igor answered,hearing Bob this time,as of course he would:choice never came into it. "Yes.A Ferrick demon downstairs." 

"Shit.How are they being taken to Dis?" 

"A temporary portal." 

"That explains the disturbance,"Bob said,as if this all made sense somehow. 

"Is it safe?"Logan asked,straightening up.He felt a little better,but the smell still seemed brutal,a sensory battering ram straight to the head. 

"It should be,"Bob assured him."Just like teleporting,only slightly less disruptive to the body.More disruptive to reality,but hey,you can't have everything." 

"I guess this is where you get off,huh?"Helga said to Bob,and Logan found one of the interpretations of that statement troubling. 

"With a Ferrick around,I guess so.Take care,look after each other.I'll be in touch." 

"You'd better be,"she replied,and then gave him a steamy kiss that Logan looked away from, not wanting to invade their privacy.Also,he didn't want to feel nauseous again. 

Finally,Bob left,giving him a friendly pat on the back before he could turn away.Logan heard him walking back across the street,singing quietly to himself."-did you exchange a walk on part in the war,for a lead role in a cage-" 

Bob finally let Igor go,and the demon with the patchwork face (no lie;his skin seemed like fragments of various types of flesh loosely and clumsily sewn together and worn as a mask) simply looked at them as if nothing happened."Are you ready?"He asked peevishly. 

Logan nodded,holding his breath,as Helga snaked her tail around his arm."Absolutely.Let's go." 

The door closed behind them as they followed the raggedy demon deeper into the shop,its shelves making abbreviated aisles, and then they passed through a fabric curtain,into the shop's tiny storeroom.Igor moved what looked like a crate,then pulled up a trapdoor where a bright,unearthly light instantly streamed out and almost blinded them. 

Logan had once seen himself in a mirror in the dark,and saw,to his horror,his eyes were almost completely black:the pupils had dilated almost completely, like a cat's eyes in dim light,the pupils opening as wide as possible to let in what tiny bits of light it could.   
People's eyes dilated in response to darkness,yes-that was how your eyes 'adjusted' to it -but not like his,which is probably why he could see better than most in utter blackness.Of course he also had help from his other senses;sound and smell alone could give him a decent impression of a room,enough so that sight was sometimes superfluous. 

But while his eyes adapted more rapidly to darkness,they also adjusted to change quicker as well,and he wasn't 'blinded' for long.The light seemed to move,as if the source down below was rotating,and Logan was roughly certain that was the case, although since when did any place in L.A. have a basement?Hello,earthquake central here. 

Oh well-it was too late for things to start making sense now. 

It still smelled bad,but it was more tolerable here-he could stand the scent of the almost ozone,which was so strong here it overpowered the smells of all the noisome essential oils and salves,and it was honestly a relief.It stank to high heaven,but it wasn't as cloying and brutal as the others. 

"After you,"Igor said,gesturing down the hatch. 

Logan crept forward,peering down into the light.There was a narrow staircase leading down to a packed dirt floor-although he could see that spiraling light,he couldn't see the source from here.He saw shadows as well,two of them,but because of the sharp pseudo -ozone smell he caught no scents.He started down warily,sure he could take anyone he might encounter,but he wasn't sure about all this portal nonsense. 

Helga followed him down,with Igor taking up the rear and shutting the trap door behind them,and Logan saw it was less a basement than a root cellar,with a large swirling halo of light taking up the bulk of the tiny room,hovering about a foot off the ground.As soon as they were downstairs,they were approached by a woman in a  black cocktail dress...at least she looked like a woman from the neck down.From the neck up,she looked like a gargoyle, with leathery grey skin and two yellow horns curving up from her temples,while eyes the color of piss glared at them.She seemed to scrutinize them both,and then said to Red,the other person down here,"No,it's not them." 

"What's not us,Gorgon?"He asked,guessing she was the Ferrick demon. 

She scowled at him for that,pushing back some of her rat's nest tangle of curly brown hair that got caught on her horns."I sensed a tremendous source of psychic energy.Did you come alone?" 

He scoffed derisively at her."No,we brought the fucking UCLA marching band with us because our car radio's broken.What the fuck do you think?" 

"I told you he was charmin',"Red commented,tossing his cigarette butt to the floor and grinding it out with the toe of his boot. 

"Are we going to do this thing,or are we going to play 'Twenty Questions'?"Helga asked sourly. 

"Well,one thing,Hairy,"Red said,still sounding smug enough to hit."I need to know the exact nature of your mutation." 

"Why?" 

"Because anyone with a projection mutation is disqualified."At his questioning look,Red elaborated."You know,if you shoot icicles from your eyes,or fart fire,or spit death rays,that kinda stuff.The boss only allows mutants who can fight hand to hand.I'm guessin' yours is strength,facial hair,and a sunshiney 'tude." 

Logan scowled at him,although Helga snickered and probably deserved it even more."I can heal fast,and I have hyper acute senses.Also,I have these."He held up his fist,and popped the claws,which made both the Gorgon and Red jump back a step. 

"Whoa,"Red said in awe,creeping forward warily,but keeping out of slashing distance."Are those natural?I mean,they're metal." 

"I didn't have 'em gilded,if that's what you're askin'."And that wasn't a lie,because he didn't voluntarily get the adamantium added to his skeleton. 

Red frowned in thought,his red eyebrows meeting over his sharp,Roman nose,and after a moment,he said,"Well...some demon with claws are in the fight,so I guess it's okay." 

The Gorgon was still glowering at them."What the hell did I sense?" 

"Maybe you're hallucinating,"Helga suggested,unable to keep from smiling. 

Logan retracted his claws,and asked,"Can we go now?" 

"Yeah,I suppose.Candy,do your stuff." 

The Gorgon's name was Candy?Well,why the hell not? 

She turned towards the disc of brightly colored,swirling air,and held up her hands,saying a few words in complete gibberish, and the spiral seemed to swell,growing larger and larger,winds spinning and kicking up dust in the cellar until it felt like there was a miniature hurricane swirling around them.Logan thought he could see something bright down the funnel like portal,and maybe it was a place,he couldn't really tell. 

The Gorgon moved aside,and Logan asked,"Now what?" 

"Now we jump,"Helga shouted at him,over the increasing roar of the growing portal. 

"Lovely,"he shouted back,not really liking the sound of that.But still they went forward,and together they leaped into the disc of coruscating light. 

The things he did for people. 

    4 

    There was a strange sense of weightlessness,a feeling like the bottom had fallen out of reality and his stomach,then there was a reassertion of gravity,and the light became a solid yellow as he turned in mid air,his instincts having a better idea of where he was in space than he did,and he landed on his feet on a sandy stretch of land.Helga landed two feet away from him,although she was unable to catch herself quite as quick as him,and landed on her butt. 

Looking around,the portal was gone,and they seemed to be in front of a white washed,clay roofed building that looked like a ziggurat under a bright noonday sun. 

"Welcome to Dis,"a man's voice said behind them,as Logan gave Helga a hand up. 

They both spun around,ready to fight,but the man was so slender and slight they could have pulled him apart like fresh bread.He was pale enough,almost milky white,that he could have been a vampire,except he was standing in a swath of sunlight and had yet to burst into flames. 

"I'm Pym,I'll be your guide,"the slender,wraith like man said,extending a long,pale hand towards Logan.He just looked at it,then-out of curiosity more than anything else-he shook it.The man's hand felt like a slightly damp sponge,clammy and pliable,and Logan was sure with a minor increase in pressure he could crush every single bone in his malleable hand.  
"Logan,"he finally offered as he pulled his hand away,and Pym then shook Helga's hand as she told him her name. 

Pym was like a walking piece of string cheese:hairless,soft,and pale,he was so slender and straw like it was hard to believe he had a proper skeleton.His eyes were hidden behind black sunglasses,and Logan figured that was for the best.For some reason he imagined his eyes were milky white,as if afflicted with cataracts,but that couldn't possibly be the case ...could it? 

"Please,follow me,"the man said,and Logan caught what might have been a hint of a British accent. 

He exchanged a curious look with Helga before they both shrugged and followed the wan, vermicular demon (?) in the sky blue suit into the vaguely pyramidal shaped tower. 

It had several floors and mezzanines,all arrayed around a central,wrought iron spiral staircase that seemed to lead all the way up to the peaked roof,although the spiral had several ancillary 'breaks',like small filaments breaking away from a double helix.The symbolism did not escape him. 

"This is where the mutants are quartered,"Pym said,his faint British accent becoming more pronounced."I hope you don't mind,Miss,but it seems best to keep the purported Humans and demon populace away from each other outside of the arena." 

"Purported?"Logan repeated. 


	4. Part 4

Helga's tail snaked around his arm again,and gave a slight squeeze.He had a feeling that was her tacit way of saying "Let it go". "No,I don't mind.Wherever Logan goes,I follow." 

It was hard not to laugh,but Logan managed to swallow it down as Pym got off on a 'branch' of the stairs that Logan knew was the fifth floor,and led them down a narrow hallway,to a pair of large wooden doors."Here's your accommodations.I hope they're to your liking.If not,there are others-not many mutants have survived this long;the Tower is almost empty." 

Pym opened the doors on a room that seemed not like a hotel but an apartment-a fancy apartment. 

Helga gasped as Pym led them inside.The front room was open and spacious,Oriental style carpets covering the bare wooden floors and a few pieces of wicker furniture on the right(sofa,chairs,table) taking up very little room,while a large black cabinet dominated the left side wall (the 'entertainment center',he'd wager),and a tiny mahogany bar nestled in the far left corner.There was a series of huge glass doors running from the 'living' room to the back (bedroom?),exposing a very large balcony that seemed to surround the apartment,all their gauzy white curtains parted to let the golden sunlight spill across the floor. 

"If you have any special needs,we have a staff willing and able to accommodate your requests,no matter how Byzantine or questionable,"Pym said,as he led them to the connecting bedroom.It was almost as large as the front room,but it had a bit more furniture,the largest of which was a king sized canopy bed surrounded by a sheer black curtain that looked a bit like fancy mosquito netting.The nightstands and dressers were black lacquer,a large mirror on one dresser directly opposite the bed (surely not a coincidence),and Pym opened a door to reveal a walk in closet before moving on to the bathroom.That appeared to be made of marble,with a sunken bathtub capable of holding about four people at once,or maybe one slender Berserker. 

"Wow,"Helga said,honestly impressed."This is the life." 

"Quite,"Pym agreed primly. 

Logan heard something padding against the white plaster walls,and looked up to see,almost hidden by the slowly rotating blades of a ceiling fan (purely for atmosphere-this place was air conditioned),a tiny green lizard-most likely a species of gecko-looking down at them from the ceiling.It was like he'd been sent out by central casting.But from the smell Logan knew it was just what it seemed,a lizard,and nothing more. 

"Hold up,what's the catch?"Logan demanded."I ain't never been in a place this nice in my life,and I know there's no such thing as a free lunch." 

"Cynic,"Helga teased,although he knew she agreed with him. 

Pym turned towards them,posture stiff,hands behind his back,and Logan got a feeling a lecture was incoming."There are several rules you are required to abide by while here.You cannot leave Dis while still active in competition;you cannot place a phone call outside the island,as we are not cellular friendly and there are no connecting lines out;you are to avoid the South end of the island for your own safety,as the protection spells only goes so far,and we still have yet to contain all the Scutters;you are to avoid brawling with other competitors outside the arena;and you are to be prompt when called to the arena,no excuses." 

Logan had no idea what 'Scutters' were,but he suddenly knew he and Helga had to check out the South side of the island ASAP. "When are we going to the arena?"He wondered. 

"We like to give the newcomers time to get adjusted,so you will be called into competition tomorrow.It is advised-although by no means mandatory-that you come by the arena to see how things are done,and perhaps 'scope out' the competition." 

Logan nodded.That made sense,and he had planned to do that anyways."When do we get to meet the big cheese?" 

Pym gave him a look like he just farted in a crowded elevator."I beg your pardon?" 

"The guy-or guys-behind all this,"Helga quickly elaborated."Our 'patrons'." 

Pym sniffed,pulling himself up even straighter,and he looked briefly like the blind ghost of a perfectly haughty English butler. "When you win the competition and become the ultimate champion.Now,I'll leave you two alone to get acquainted with your surroundings.You will find liquors and many foodstuffs in the bar,and there are some spare clothes in the closet,although there is a marketplace where you can get your own.On the house,of course.Please call down if you require anything else."Pym then bowed stiffly from his waist,and left the room,leaving them alone in their temporary new digs. 

As soon as Logan was sure he was gone,he said,"If this is hell,I'm glad I'm goin'." 

"It is pretty sweet,isn't it?"She agreed.She then threw her arms around his neck,and buried her face in the side of his throat, nibbling it lightly with her teeth.Before he could pull her off of him,she whispered,"Picking up any surveillance equipment?" 

Okay,that made sense.He pretended to kiss her neck,brushing his lips against the skin of her throat,and whispered,"Not yet,but I don't trust it." 

"There could be mystical as well as physical surveillance,"she murmured,trailing her lips and the tip of her tongue over his Adam's apple.He felt her tail wrap around his waist,pulling him tightly against her as her hands slid beneath his shirt.She was really selling this clench. 

"If someone's watchin' me from anywhere,I know,"he replied,pretending to kiss her ear. 

"I know,but this surveillance may be periodic."She really did kiss his ear,running her hands through his hair as she gently bit his ear lobe."Give me a signal if you pick it up." 

"What kind of signal?" 

"Do you know Morse Code?"At his humorous grunt,she nipped his chin,and said,"Give me a strange look.Smile for once." 

"Very funny,"he muttered.He attempted to pull away,but she pulled him back,and gave him a passionate kiss on the mouth.It was nice-again,Helga was always nice-but he broke away from her,grabbing her tail and pulling it from his waist. 

"Not now,"he told her,not wanting to have an argument with her at the moment."We have some sightseeing to do." 

She scowled at him,not at all happy,but she was willing to let it go for once.She yanked her tail away from his hand,and said,"The arena?" 

He shrugged."Might as well.By the way,what the hell's a Scutter?" 

"It's a type of demon,not at all intelligent,that's the dry land equivalent of a piranha.They travel in packs and strip the skin off anything with a circulatory system in a couple of minutes." 

"Cute.How do you kill them?" 

"Oh,they're not hard to kill.A flamethrower will do,bullets.You could probably slice them to pieces.And like many a demon, they're nocturnal." 

"Convenient.So nobody dares venture out under the cover of darkness." 

She nodded,taking a brief look in the closet."It is a neat set up,isn't it?" 

He went to the bedroom balcony doors and opened it,stepped out onto the wide,wraparound terrace.The air smelled strangely clean,like saline and vegetation,terra cotta with a hint of demons.The sky was a clear cerulean blue,stretching seemingly to eternity over a calm aquamarine ocean.They were about a hundred yards from the shore,a stretch of ocher sand and coconut palms clinging tenaciously to small patches of scrub grass separating the hotel (?) from the sea,and the beach looked empty,virtually deserted.He could hear noise-voices,feel the thrum of small motors,such as on boats and perhaps scooters,doors opening and closing -but they seemed to be carrying from another part of the island. 

Large seabirds wheeled overhead,terns and possibly albatross,occasionally landing on the shoreline and padding through the wet sand,scattering before the waves that lapped gently at the beach. 

Helga came out then and stood beside him,admiring the view."We need to do some sunbathing." 

"Do you tan?"He wondered,giving her a wry smirk. 

"No,I turn a darker green,"she said,nudging him gently with her elbow."From bottle green to olive.What about you?Can you tan?" 

That was actually a good question."I don't know." 

Her tail snaked underneath his shirt and seemed to tickle the small of his back."Well,we'll have to find out then,won't we?In the name of science." 

"Far be it from me to impede science." 

For a moment they just stood there,enjoying the view and the sweet smelling tropical air,and he said quietly,"Funny place to have a nexus of total evil." 

"It's always where you least suspect it,"she said,leaning against his shoulder.He let her,not minding the contact for once. 

This had already been a strange day.He had a feeling it was about to get stranger than he could ever imagine. 

    5 

    All the city-such as it was-seemed to be centralized,a mile long hub all centered around a dome shaped building that had to be the arena.The city (which Logan had already mentally dubbed 'Distopia') was full of whitewashed buildings and tiled courtyards, grassy esplanades and open fountains.It was undeniably lovely,but Logan could sense the artifice of it all:it was a calculated pose,a lure for wayward tourists who would undoubtedly become someone's snack. 

The grey dome of the arena actually looked slightly tarnished,eroded by time,something the other seemingly young buildings didn't have.It was like the only real thing among a backdrop of cut away buildings,plywood illusions the prop department would soon come to collect and put away as soon as shooting wrapped. 

There were few people out,and those that were hardly noticed Helga but openly gaped at him.There must not have been many humans in the competition-he felt like a freak show exhibit. 

A cement concourse led to the arena,and Logan could hear the noise of the crowd,feel the thrum of loud voices and movement through the ground.There had to be hundreds if not thousands of demons in there.He bet it stunk to high heaven. 

The concourse narrowed into an entryway currently cordoned off by a black metal gate,not unlike the kind often used in lieu of outer doors by old fashioned elevators,except he was sure this was bound to be far sturdier.As he reached for it to test his theory,he realized he smelled something familiar-electricity.It was electrified.But it still needed to be sturdier than it looked,or there'd be no point in having it. 

Suddenly a big green demon who seemed to be all three hundred pounds of muscle appeared on the opposite side,dressed in nothing but a brown leather vest and matching pants,glowered at them from the other side,crossing his anaconda thick arms across his barrel chest."Participants enter through the underground passage,"the main said gruffly,his voice tinged with an Indian accent. Southern Bangalore was his guess."But since you're newbies,you can come this way once." 

He hit some buttons on the far right side,and the electricity switched off with a snap before the metal gate began to accordion open."Where's the underground passage?"Logan asked. 

"It should be in the lobby of your building.A door marked 'Employees Only'." 

"You're not participating,brother?"Helga said to the man,nearly making Logan do a double take.Why had she called him brother? 

The demon,as olive as the Jolly Green Giant from head to toe,eyes to hair,shook his head."No,I've no desire to beat the shit out of people for money.You should be careful,sister;there are some vicious creatures in the contest." 

"Don't worry,I'm pretty vicious myself,"she said,sliding her arm around Logan's waist as they walked through the open gate and past the Jolly Green Guard.He smelled a bit of dried wood with a hint of curry,and Logan realized they had called each other 'brother' and 'sister' because they were both Stansin demons.But where was his tail?He didn't seem to have one.Maybe it was a rare mutation in the species,or just a female thing.Or just a Helga thing,knowing her. 

As they walked down the cement corridor to the main concourse of the dome,the crowd was an almost constant wave of noise,a roar that refused to die.And the smell was just as bad as Logan feared:a miasma of stink,hot demon (but there were some humans here too-he could parse that much) bodies in a confined space,and it basically smelled like a spice factory slowly decaying in a swamp fetid with sewer run off from the local slaughterhouse.Now there was a stench he'd probably never get out of his clothes. 

The dome was just like any sports arena anywhere in the world-deep and seemingly endless rows of seats were raised above a central 'pit',where a large,igloo shaped cage of metal mesh (adamantium?) took up the bulk of the 'field',maybe twenty feet high and thirty five feet wide.There were two doors in the cage,opposite each other,and two big Stansin men who could been the identical brothers of the first guard stood outside,mainly watching the crowd with their backs to the cage.There didn't seem to be an empty seat in the house. 

As a large and ugly demon of a type he didn't recognize entered the cage from the far end,the crowd roared louder and the perimeter lights dimmed,throwing spotlights on the cage.Logan saw at least two huge 'jumbo screens',showing real time images of the cage for people whose seats were so bad they could barely see anything. 

"We've entered Thunderdome,"he said derisively to Helga.They were standing in a passage level with the field,just below the first seating level. 

A voice boomed over a loudspeaker,sounding as cheesy as any game show emcee:"The next event pits the Titan of Torture, Freyza'Gul-"The crowd roared loudly,although some also booed,and Logan saw thrown objects-mainly beer cans and what very well could have been (but probably wasn't) popcorn boxes bounce off the top of the cage,perhaps explaining its existence. 

"What the fuck is he?"He asked Helga.He looked like a snake on two legs. 

"Carrion demon.Ain't exactly the type of guys you want to invite to parties." 

"Carrion?As in-" 

"Dead flesh eaters,yep.You won't believe how bad their breath smells." 

The emcee went on bombastically overhead,like the voice of a god offering fabulous cash prizes."-against the Mistress of Darkness, Drusilla."More enthusiastic cheering,booing,and litter flinging,as Helga suddenly exclaimed,"No fucking way!What the hell's she doing here?!" 

"Old friend?"He asked,finally getting to see Drusilla as the guards surrounding the cage shifted position.The 'Mistress of Darkness' was a pale,dark haired woman who looked almost ludicrously frail,and was wearing what appeared to be a crimson velvet dress- absolutely not fighting clothes.This was not a fight but a slaughter;she'd be dead in a few seconds.What on earth was that woman thinking? 

Helga snorted at his question."Yeah,sure-if your idea of friends includes crazy vampire bitches." 

Vampire?Okay,he gave her ten seconds."Well,at least you arrived here in time to watch her get dusted." 

"Don't count on that." 

It wasn't a bell that sounded more than a high pitched warning sound,and then the crowd fell to quiet murmuring as Freyza'Gul lurched menacingly towards the smaller,slighter Drusilla.She didn't move;in fact,he swore he heard her laugh,a sort of cackle that was as derisive as it was amused.She had said something to the Carrion demon,but he couldn't hear what,and then she began swaying gently from foot to foot,as if moving to music only she could hear. 

"Why isn't he attacking?"Logan wondered.Then he saw the Carrion demon was starting to sway right along with her,mimicking her actions.The cobra had been hypnotized. 

"Dru's a complete head case,but she does have a few perks that keep her alive,"Helga said,as Dru broke formation and walked right up to the suddenly motionless Freyza'Gul.She simply grabbed his snake shaped head and gave it a quick,violent twist, breaking his neck with a loud crack.The Carrion demon collapsed to the metal floor of the cage,and the siren sounded again,as the crowd came alive in a chorus of cheers and boos. 

"The winner-Drusilla!"The emcee god announced,and Drusilla,still obviously laughing,gathered up the hem of her skirt and curtseyed to the crowd as if they were the royal family.She was nuts. 

"I thought telepaths weren't allowed,"he said,as the Stansin on Dru's side opened the cage door and escorted her out to a door beneath the stands.If this was a normal sports stadium,it would be the locker room.The other cage door then opened,and another warty looking demon appeared to drag the body away. 

"She's not a telepath,"Helga replied."Her 'gift' is a bit more tenuous than that.She has the sight-a form of E.S.P.-and some minor powers of mesmerism,as you saw.Don't be fooled by her frail appearance;she's an old vamp,and pretty tough.And crazy as a shit house rat." 

"Will she blow your cover?" 

Helga had to think about that for a moment,which was disturbing."I don't think so.I was with Bob when I first-and last- encountered her,but hell,now I'm with you.I'm sure she knows how it is with Stansins." 

"Monogamy is a foreign concept?" 

She gave him a sarcastic smile for that."I didn't hear you complaining that day back at the mansion,boy-o." 

He scowled at her."Like I don't regret that now.And besides,you jumped me,and I'm a guy-you knew damn well what was gonna happen." 

"Ooh,Mr. Defensive."She then leaned in close to him,slipping her hand in the back pocket of his jeans,and purred,"Don't tell me you don't want a rematch." 

"Do you ever give up?" 

"Do you?"She replied,in an innocent manner that didn't really suit her at all. 

He sighed and shook his head,looking back at the cage,where two new demons were being led to the arena floor to start their fight.If there was a sinister motive beyond blood sports,Logan didn't see it right now,although it didn't mean there was none;it just meant he couldn't see it yet.But he would. 

He just had to figure out exactly what it was he was looking for. 

** 

    They stuck around for a half hour and saw six matches:most ended pretty quickly.The only mutant he saw in the arena-a big guy whose skin seemed to turn to stone-had his head literally ripped off by an even bigger Ressik (how he snapped his spinal cord so cleanly was a bit of a mystery) named Gorg,who seemed to be the demon to beat.But then he got a look at a demon called Crayax,whom Helga identified as a Copraphagous demon:seven feet tall if he was an inch,and three hundred pounds if he was a single ounce,he had fists the size of ham hocks and arms that could double as tree branches.He also was covered with fine,stiff black hairs that made him look striated black and white like a zebra,and had a small group (maybe six each) of seven inch black spikes protruding from his broad shoulders.They were honestly spikes,as he shoved his opponent's face into one set and took out his eye with them before he bothered to finish the poor guy off.He so outmatched his opponent Crayax could have easily killed him the moment they locked the cage doors,but he liked to toy with the demon he was paired with,and he seemed to relish the prolonged agony of his opponent,getting off on the pain.The crowd seemed to get off on it too,getting louder and more approving the longer and bloodier the fight.Crayax seemed to be the favorite to take it all. 

Logan couldn't wait until he got in the cage with him. 

They pretty much knew the guys to beat now:Crayax,Gorg,and Drusilla,in that order,unless they got teamed up along the way and someone got knocked out of contention.But they hadn't seen him and Helga in action yet. 

Since the rest of the fighters looked uninteresting-it was doubtful any of them would make it past Crayax,Gorg,or Drusilla-they left,and Helga insisted they hit the beach.She had been serious about that? 

In spite of his protest that he was not a 'beach person',she dragged him off to a shop to by some things from a merchant (a pleasant if not exactly attractive Slime demon),and then dragged him back to the beach by their hotel-or whatever it was. 

It was still quiet and remarkably empty.But most demons were nocturnal,though,and it seemed like the entire population of Dis was in the arena watching the fights,so it made sense. 

Helga apparently did not know the meaning of the word 'no',or she just presumed it was negotiable.Either way,she ignored him. "If you don't change into this,I'm going to jump on you again,"she threatened,holding out a pair of shorts. 

"Bring it on,"he snapped irritably,not actually meaning it.Her tail was a lethal weapon,among other things.He grabbed the trunks from her,and pointed out,"I don't wear shorts." 

"Fine-I'm all for skinny dipping,"she said,grinning. 

He changed into the black shorts,cursing the whole time.He wondered if all Stansins were like this:maybe that's why they were hired as guards around here.Of course if any of these guys tried this crap on him,he'd be happy to punch them. 

By the time he worked up the courage to step out on the beach (he was expecting the crowd from the arena,waiting to laugh at him),it took him a minute to find Helga.She had spread out a blanket behind a small thatch of coconut palms,concealing her from obvious view-a good idea,actually,as they would not be immediately visible to anyone,therefore any ambush plans would be right out. 

As soon as he came around the trees,he found her seated on the thin blue blanket,wearing the crimson bikini she had bought,and he was surprised to find himself disappointed that she was wearing the top part.Of course the color sort of clashed with her deep green skin,but still she carried it off.There was no denying she was a fine looking woman,no matter her species (or tail).Seeing him, she smiled and whistled approvingly."I don't know why you think you look silly,hon,"she told him,ignoring his dirty look. "With a body like yours you could carry anything off.You're like Bob-the great bods of our time." 

He didn't know what to say to that,so he didn't say anything.He actually liked the feeling of the warm sand between his toes;he liked feeling like he had a direct connection to the Earth,although he couldn't say why.Just another mystery about himself he could never solve."Speaking of which,how is Bob going to get in touch with us?"He asked,sitting down beside her on the blanket.It was so quiet he caught himself whispering."If there are phones,I wouldn't trust 'em not to be tapped." 

"Don't worry:Bob is Bob.He always finds a way." 

Well,that was true enough.He felt remarkably weary-portal lag?-so he laid down on the blanket."Don't jump on me- I'm wearing the damn shorts." 

She snorted humorously."Don't worry.I won't molest you unless you ask nicely." 

"I've heard that before."The sun was almost painfully bright,so he threw an arm over his eyes,and enjoyed the silence. 

With his eyes blinded,his other sense seemed to rush in to fill the void.When he was deafened by Legion that happened too:his sense of smell became more acute (sadly-man,did they stink),and his eyesight so sharp he could count specks of dirt on the floor sixty feet away.It was weird and he had no idea why.Right now,his hearing threatened to get way too good,the soft noise of the ocean becoming a roar,while his sense of smell sharpened to the point where he could scent individual seabirds.He worked hard to tamp it down,and managed to do so. 

It was awful to think of your own body as a foreign entity,but sometimes he couldn't help but do so.Sometimes he felt like an alien in his own skin,a feeling he couldn't quite shake.And he doubted therapy would help. 

He heard/sensed/felt Helga lay down beside him,but the one sense he didn't try and mentally dampen was his sense of touch.The sun bathing his skin felt incredible;even the warm,gentle breeze felt like a caress.There were some perks to having hyper acute senses. 

He was more accustomed to the cold,as much as he often hated it,but he had to admit this was nice:the warmth was soothing,the gentle shush of the waves lapping against the shore lulling him to sleep.Of course,some of those screechy shorebirds were pretty damn strident,but they had learned enough about demons to avoid landing anywhere in their vincinity. 

Helga didn't even try and speak to him,which he appreciated.Bob would probably be trying to yak his ear off.But then again,he couldn't imagine sunbathing with Bob.He probably wouldn't look as nice in the bikini anyways. 

Oh,now there was a frightening mental image. 

He was starting to fall asleep,in the twilight zone between consciousness and unconsciousnesses,when alarm bells went off inside his own mind."Hel,"he said quietly. 

"What?"She asked,sounding a little groggy herself. 

"Do you know Morse code?" 

It took a moment,but she seemed to understand-they were being watched.She slid her hand across his chest,settling into the crook of his arm,hair brushing his chest (and with his hyper-acuity this all felt very sensual and unbelievably good),and replied sleepily, "No,they kicked me out of Girl Scouts before we got to that." 

"Discrimination?" 

"Yep.It ain't easy bein' green." 

He found it almost impossible not to laugh. 

After a quiet two minutes,where only sea birds sloshed in the surf and flapped their wings,and gentle breezes stirred the palm fronds and blades of grass,he felt the eyes disappear as mysteriously as they appeared.Since no scent had accompanied this feeling of being watched,he assumed it was some sort of mystical snooping from a long distance."Gone." 

"Checking up on us,"she said."So you have a sixth sense to go along with the plain old five?" 

"Huh?" 

"You're too good at it,you know.You even pick up cameras.How?" 

That was a question he couldn't even begin to answer."I don't know.It's just a feeling." 

"A very handy feeling."She paused,and he thought she was done,but she changed subjects."You know things are probably going to get ugly very soon." 

"Any reason why?" 

"Yeah.If I become the favorite to win it all-and I wouldn't be surprised,seeing the caliber of talent in the ring-no big deal.But if you do-and again,judging from caliber of talent,I wouldn't be surprised-nobody will like it." 

"Because I'm human?" 

"Got it in one.The humans in the contest are probably viewed as jokes.But once you get in there and start kicking ass,they're gonna hate you.They will be sitting on the edge of their seats,waiting for you to get mercilessly slaughtered,and if doesn't happen they'll probably try and engineer it outside the ring." 

"They can engineer away-it won't help." 

"You're cocky,ain't you?" 

"No.I kick ass.That's what I do." 

"I can't argue with that." 

"You ain't that bad yourself."He offered.It sounded lame,but he meant it:Helga could kick some ass herself.He knew why Bob didn't worry about her in a physical fight;she could more than hold her own.Of course,there was that thing about her being an assassin at one time.He always meant to ask her about that. 

Before he could,he felt her kiss his chest,her tail stroking the inside of his thigh,and he couldn't help but smile."I thought you weren't gonna molest me until I asked nicely." 

"I lied,"she said,moving on top of him and kissing him on the lips.He didn't mind;the weight of her felt good,the scent of her sun warned skin was sweet,and here they were on a tropical paradise.A tropical paradise awash with bloodthirsty demons,sure,but it still counted. 

And what was a little more guilt on top of all the rest? 

    6 

    He had the peripheral sense of being asleep,of being in warm,peaceful darkness,but then he suddenly found himself sitting in a lounge chair by a pool,a drink in his hand.What the hell..? 

Logan glanced around,only now aware he was wearing sunglasses,and a sniff told him his drink was a rum and coke with a little paper umbrella in it. 

"G'day mate,"Bob said cheerfully,having a seat in a lounge chair across the pool from him,holding his own frou-frou drink. "What'cha got for me?" 

He just stared at him,wondering what kind of dream this was.Helga was sitting in her own lounge chair at the head of the pool, sipping her own umbrella-ed drink,and wearing the red bikini,although now she no longer wore the top.Well,that figured somehow. 

(A quick glance down confirmed he was still wearing the black trunks.Well,thank god for that.Or Bob.Possibly same difference.) 

"Yes,it's real,"she told him,putting her drink down on a small side table and picking up a book.All he could see was the title: 'Shatterday'. 

It took him a moment to realize she was referring to the dream.Well,the...uh..."What the hell is this?"He asked,not sure if he should be indignant or not. 

"Well,I guess I'd call it a mindscape,I suppose,"Bob offered,putting his drink down on the ground,and folding his hands on his stomach.They were poolside at someone's house:beyond Bob,he could see a virtual wall of glass doors that made up the ground floor of what appeared to be a three story home.To Logan's right was a high privet hedge,maybe eight feet tall,blocking the anyone else's view from the outside,and where the hedge opened up,a few feet behind Helga,there was a huge,rambling garden full of exotic wildflowers and tropical trees.It all looked really expensive and somewhat ostentatious,like a celebrity's home. 

"This is the real place where you live,isn't it?"Logan replied.He knew that converted industrial warehouse outside of L.A.'s meat packing district could not possibly be Bob's home.No matter the nice garage,and the spacious upper floor (the 'home' part-and apparently,according to Helga,there was a pool on the roof,but he had yet to see it),it still seemed like slumming for a guy who supposedly had Bob's money. 

"It's one of the places,"Bob allowed."The Sydney one.Maybe you two can swing by on your way back from Dis.I'll invite some of the family over,we'll have a barbecue.I have a great grand daughter who would just love you.Shar's a bounty hunter,and she thinks that most men are complete wussies,'specially the human variety." 

Logan continued staring at Bob.Was this guy for real?Actually,considering what he was wearing-nothing but surfer jams (long shorts) a bright neon yellow with bright green shamrocks and blue lined silver horseshoes all over it-it was easy to believe he was a hallucination brought on by bad clams."What the fuck's a mindscape?And I thought you insisted you weren't a telepath." 

Bob sighed dramatically,rolling his neon blue eyes,the color of which made the pool look as pale and washed out as the sky."If I was just a telepath,could I be in your mind from here?" 

"Australia?" 

"L.A.-I haven't left.Physically.Yet." 

Sometimes conversations with Bob felt like an endless highway-you thought you were moving forward,but actually you never got very far at all,and the end was never anywhere in sight."I'm gonna kill you,"Logan promised. 

That just made him smile."I have a psychic connection with Hel here.Don't I hon?" 

"That you do,"she agreed,never looking up from her book. 

"And you're near by,so why not drag you in?Besides,you have the neatest mind-it heals up as soon as I accidentally damage it. That's just cool." 

It was Logan's turn to roll his eyes,but with his sunglasses on,they probably missed that."So this is some sort of psychic three way calling?" 

"You could say that,yes.Nice analogy!" 

"But you're not a telepath?" 

"Nope.Not even Xavier with his silver helmet deely-bob could pull this off." 


	5. Part 5

Logan gulped down his rum and coke.It was way too sweet,but he felt he needed the alcohol if he was going to continue to have this conversation."You didn't even ask if I wanted to be a part of this,"he pointed out,tossing his glass into the pool. Well,it wasn't like any of this was real. 

Although it made Helga glance over the top of her book,that sly "I-always-know-more-than-anyone-ever-in-the-history-of- the-universe" smile remained affixed to Bob's face,and he didn't even seem to notice his nice crystal highball glass was now in the deep end of his pool."Okay,I admit that's very wrong,but somehow I thought you'd rather speak for yourself than have Hel speak for you." 

"I could,"she offered,looking back at her book."I think I even can do his Canadian accent now,eh?" 

"I do not have a Canadian accent,"he insisted crossly.Well,at least he didn't hear it."And what the hell's that supposed to mean anyways?" 

Helga finally glanced up at him,and gave him that feral "I could fuck you or kill you" sort of smile that sometimes made him wonder about her sanity,and made him wonder why Bob had adopted her as his 'right hand man' (so to speak).There were small but potent moments when the facade fell away,and Helga was revealed for the deeply dangerous being she was: the assassin within. "Don't worry,darlin',I think it's kind of cute.I dig men with accents."She then gave him a wink that she also shared with the 'old man',and he felt vaguely ill.Maybe it was the rum. 

He shook his head in a futile attempt to clear his mind,and tried to get back on track,another near impossibility with these two. "Fine,this is a mindscape,too big a deal for your everyday telepaths.Is it silly for me to ask whose mind we're all in?" 

"Yes,"Helga said,nose buried in the book once more. 

Bob gave her a patient,bemused smile."Excuse her,she's used to this.I'm sure you've guessed by now the mind is mine." 

"Yeah.It's your house,after all." 

He nodded."There is that.So what's the dish on Dis?" 

Logan scowled at his awful joke,and found he now had one of those monster sized Australian beer cans in his hand,open of course.Bob must have known he'd need the alcohol."Got nothin' for you yet.Looks like a plain ol' blood sport sorta deal.But it feels wrong." 

"Big time wrong,"Helga agreed. 

"In what way?" 

Helga looked at him,resting her open book across her bare breasts,and after thinking about it,admitted,"I'm not really sure. Maybe Captain Sensitive here can give you some more insights." 

She just loved fucking with him,didn't she?In more ways than one.To be completely honest,he understood few people,but he got Helga less than most,and didn't think he'd ever even begin to understand her,even given a million years head start. Maybe Bob was her perfect mate because he seemed to understand everything,no matter how arcane and unfathomable.He took a swig of his beer-very good,but what else could he expect from Bob?-then told them,"I don't know.I didn't get anything tangible.It was just the typical evil of the mob mentality.Group think generates its own sense of  menace." 

"Very deep,"Helga said,flashing him that evil grin again. 

"And very perceptive,"Bob interjected."But having been the one generally singled out for mass hatred,I would guess you got accustomed to reading the signals on the wind." 

"Thanks,"he groused,having another swig of his beer. 

"Hey,it wasn't an insult-I've been there.Demon,you know.We ain't popular as a rule." 

"But you can pass,"Helga pointed out. 

Bob grimaced as if embarrassed."True enough.But I never fooled you for a second,did I Logan?" 

For a moment,he wasn't sure what he was asking."You didn't smell human." 

"See?Doesn't always work." 

"Does he smell demonic?"She countered. 

"No." 

Helga gave Bob a smug grin of triumph."I guess you're right:the passing thing just isn't working for you." 

Bob stuck out his tongue at Helga,who made an evil face back,and Logan simply finished his beer and crumpled the can into a ball,waiting for the two kids to start acting their ages.Since they were still making faces,he found himself idly tossing the ball of aluminum from hand to hand,and finally lobbed it over the hedge fence easily.Now there was a three point shot. 

"Sorry we're boring you,"Bob said,finally done with the childish mugging. 

"Bring a book next time,"Helga said,less than helpfully. 

He wasn't even going to ask how in the hell you 'brought a book' on a trip to another person's mind."The only thing I can tell you is that the South side of the island is emphatically off limits,and supposedly rife with things called Scutters." 

"Ooh,both suspicious and nasty.Well,the ley line degredation continues apace,so the sooner you two check that out the better.Any sign of Volta yet?" 

"No,"Helga replied,picking up her book again. 

"What's he smell like?"Logan wondered.Something really funny was happening:he felt a bit light headed,warmer,more relaxed than usual.Shit,did alcohol affect him here?How in the hell could that be?This place wasn't real... 

Yes it was.It was Bob's mind,and whatever he said went.And if he said Logan could feel the effects of alcohol for once in his life,he would.He didn't know whether to thank him or punch him.Bob seemed to make him feel that way a lot. 

Bob frowned in thought,looking down at the pool,and possibly the lonely little highball glass sitting in the deep end.Only then did Logan notice there were clouds painted on the bottom of the pool;clouds and a little yellow sun.So you could dive into the sky? "That's a good question.I wish I paid more attention to that kind of thing.I guess...Chaos demons kind of smell like pencil shavings. Isn't that weird?" 

"More wood or graphite?" 

Bob stared at him in disbelief."You can smell the difference?"He then smirked at his own question."If anyone would,I guess it would be you.Stupid question." 

"He was in the crowd;he was watching the matches when we went to get a feel of the place." 

"Bullshit!"Helga suddenly erupted,sitting forward in her chair."There's no fucking way you could have smelled a single Chaos demon in a crowd that big." 

Normally,Logan might have been pissed that she was,in a way,accusing him of being a liar,but he felt remarkably good right now,almost post-coital good (oh shit,now was not the time to think of that,not in Bob's brain).Was this why people drank? Man,it was nice.Maybe he shouldn't have drank that beer so fast."Honey,I'm kinda like a bloodhound.Throw all the scents you want at me,but I'll find the one I want every time." 

She sat back,looking slightly doubtful,but he felt that doubt was aimed at his sanity more than his olfactory senses."But Bloodhound doesn't sound as cool as Wolverine,huh?" 

That wasn't really that funny,but Logan found himself chuckling anyways."Also I don't have the ears,and I can't bark that way.German Shepherd I can do,but I ain't German...as far as I know."For some reason,he thought that was funny too. 

"Exactly how potted are you letting him get?"She asked Bob. 

Bob shrugged and smiled."Guy needs to loosen up a bit.And you have always wished the alcohol would do something, haven't you Logan?" 

Logan nodded,laying back in his chair and wishing he had another beer.He felt almost giddy-how weird was that?"Are you gonna give me a new pair of eyeballs now too?"He giggled as he remembered how freaked out Scott got when Bob gave him an ordinary set of eyes.He probably saw how he looked for the first time in his life and got scared by his own helmet hair. 

"Your eyes are just fine,Logan.I'm taking it you two haven't gone in the ring yet." 

"Tomorrow,"Helga told him. 

"I can't wait,"Logan admitted,finally able to stop laughing.But just barely."I'm gonna kick all their asses.I'm gonna make Volta come out and look me in the eye before I find out if his pancreas is made of pebbles." 

"Hold up,Superman,"Bob said,making him laugh again.Why was he laughing?Well,everything seemed so fucking absurd: for instance,he was getting drunk at a guy's house that existed only in his head.They prescribed heavy neuroleptic shit for delusions like that,didn't they?"We need to find out exactly what he's doing before you do any exploratory surgery,'kay?" 

Logan gave him a thumb's up."Gotcha,chief.You wanna know something funny?I used to think I was invulnerable,I mean in the sense that nothing could hurt me,and I wasn't afraid of nothin'.Now I'm terrified of the most stupid shit you could imagine."Right now,that struck him as hilarious. 

He couldn't see his face,he was staring up at the wide blue sky-if it had a couple of clouds it would have looked exactly like the bottom of the pool-but Bob sounded weirdly somber."What scares you,Logan?" 

"Sleep.Memories.Hospitals.Isn't that fucking nuts?Me,scared of hospitals-I bet I've never even been in one in my entire life. Not 'cause I needed it,anyways." 

"You were in a kind of one once,"he pointed out."Against your will." 

"That was some military Frankenstein lab,"Logan replied,and suddenly it didn't seem so funny anymore."But it had some smells in common:antiseptics,pain,blood."He paused,his biggest fear remaining unspoken,while there was a churning in his gut like the rum and the beer were fighting it out in his stomach.Why the hell was he saying all this anyways?Shit,was he a talkative drunk?Finally he said:"Tell me I'm not going to live forever,Bob." 

"No human lives forever,Logan,"Bob promised him solemnly. 

"I ain't your standard issue." 

"Doesn't matter." 

Was Bob lying?He couldn't tell.And when it got down to it,he didn't want to know.He just wanted to believe the thing that would bring him a smidgen of peace,so he decided to do just that."Good." 

"Immortality is overrated,"Bob added.Maybe it was a joke. 

"I bet,"was all Logan could think to say to that. 

"I'll let you two get back,but I'll be in touch ASAP.And Logan,no rushing into anything recklessly,huh?You can get hurt and you don't want to be dead just yet.Okay?" 

"Right-o.It's not like any demon's gonna get me anyways." 

"What-would you rather be taken out by a mutant with a chainsaw for an arm or something?"Helga asked facetiously. 

"That sounds pretty cool,"he admitted,almost imagining such a thing,and it was kind of a funny mental picture.Long sleeve shirts were probably right out. 

Bob let out an exasperated sigh,but it sounded phony somehow,forced."Enough for you." 

Then it was like someone switched out the lights,and for a moment there was nothing,just a distant sense of warmth,and then Logan woke up to a sherbet orange sky and a cool breeze coming in off the ocean.Had that whole thing just occurred? In a way,he hoped that was just another one of his weird dreams,but he bet it wasn't.And he had managed to make an ass of himself.Thanks Bob. 

Helga was curled up next to him,one of her legs and her tail between his legs,her arm thrown across his stomach and her head resting on his chest,with the towel beneath them partially pulled up over her as if she had gotten cold.She was laying  on his arm,but it wasn't quite asleep;in fact,he was pretty sure with all the adamantium in it,it was hurting her more than him. 

She stirred,her green hair tickling his skin,and he said,"What's say we find out if this dump has a decent bar and get a real drink?" He was now almost glad alcohol didn't effect him;he was a pretty pathetic drunk. 

Helga groaned an assent before adding,"Yeah,I could use something to eat too.Fooling around and psychic conferences always make me hungry." 

Well,that was as good a reason as any. 

** 

    Okay,it was a tiny island,lacking even a proper highway system,but having a single bar-and in a hotel,no less- was beyond sad.Either demons didn't drink a lot,or had alternate methods of  drowning their sorrows. 

It was at the demon hotel too,a large,palatial Victorian style building called the Royale,so the hatred and contempt that greeted him the second he walked in the door was instantly palpable.There were many muscular Stansins standing by though,possibly the same guys from the arena,and since they weren't drinking he presumed they were about to keep order. 

The bar was dark wood and brass,seemingly going for a British pub sort of look,and there were no windows at all,a sop to the vampires on this sunny isle,he supposed. 

"Why Stansins?"He asked Helga,as they elbowed up to the crowded bar.The demons there growled at him and gave him a wide berth.Whatever. 

"We're sort of the Sweden of demons,before the whole hoarding Nazi gold scandal,"she said,resting her forearms on the bar and winking at the nearest Stansin,who simply grinned back at her,flashing a mouth full of perfectly white teeth."We're thought of pretty well by all other demons.Also,we fight really good." 

"So there are internecine problems between demons too?" 

"Oh yeah.For instance,Ressiks are as widely despised as Berserkers;a lot of demons see vampires as annoying pests;Belials are backstabbing weasels;Slime demons are walking jokes-should I go on?" 

"Nah,I think I got it." 

Finally the bartender,a big guy with a gargoyle face and curving horns on the side of his head like a bighorn sheep,came over and seemed to do a slight double take looking at him."Human?"He asked,his voice sounding like slowly cracking ice. 

Logan simply glared back at him,meeting his ruby red eyes fearlessly."Yeah.Got a problem with that?" 

"No.But man,you gotta be the ballsiest or the stupidest guy I've ever met.What're you drinking?" 

Logan gave him a deadly frown,telegraphing his need to beat him to a pulp,and the guy actually took a step back,while Helga grabbed his bicep and gave it a little squeeze:another tacit "Stand down"."He'll have a beer,and I'll have a Stoli on the rocks,"she said.The bartender nodded and quickly left,seemingly happy to have an excuse to leave. 

"Remember,no fights outside the ring,"she whispered in his ear."That's why the Green Guard is here." 

He grunted in acknowledgment,aware of that but not at all happy about it.When Hornhead came back with their drinks, Helga asked,"Got anything to eat around here?" 

"Sure.What do you have in mind?" 

"A  big slab of non-humanoid protein." 

It bothered him that she specified 'non-humanoid',but it also confirmed his suspicions."Kryk'zyk can throw together a pretty decent burger." 

She nodded."Sign me up for that.But hold the onions." 

"You got it,"the bartender said,and happily drifted away,glad to put distance between himself and Logan. 

Since the other demons had given them lot of room (Humanphobes),he decided now would probably be a great time to ask. "How long were you an assassin?" 

If the question bothered her,it didn't show.She shrugged,picking up her highball glass full of vodka,swirling the liquid around so the ice cubes made a musical sound as they hit the side of the glass.""Two and a half years,more or less." 

"Who'd you work for?" 

"A demon mob clan on the upper West Side of New York,a group known as the T'Karii.I got adopted by a couple of them after my parents got killed,so I felt a burden to carry on the 'family legacy',as it were." 

He grimaced in sympathy."Sorry about your parents." 

"It's okay.It was an accident,and it was a long time ago." 

While she sipped her vodka,he took a swig of his beer.It wasn't as good as the one in the mindscape,and had zero effect."But you got out,"he finally said. 

She nodded."Got tired of it.I decided to leave but-so much for family loyalty-they told me I couldn't." 

Logan frowned."But you did leave,didn't you?" 

She nodded again,setting her drink back down."There was this Watcher in Greenwich Village,and I cut a deal with her:she and her group could have T'Karii and I walked.So while the two sides were fighting it out,I hoofed it to L.A.,and so ends that." 

He raised an eyebrow at that."You sold them out?" 

"Unlike your wife,I wasn't about to show any loyalty to a group of people who wrote me off so easily,family or not.No offense,I mean I know it was a cultural thing with her,but there is no pay off in sticking by people who will get rid of you as soon as a better offer comes along.I guess you know that too." 

Logan stared at her,then at the bottom of his beer bottle,angry and disturbed.First of all,he didn't appreciate the mention of his wife-whom,of course,he could still not remember;her face was now burned into his brain,but only because of the photograph on the tombstone.Her face was the visual equivalent of a word on the tip of your tongue that,no matter how hard or how long you tried,you could never spit out:she was familiar,but he couldn't say how or why.And the bittersweet emotions that came with that were always unwelcome.He didn't appreciate the implication,even if unintended,that she was somehow responsible for her own grisly death by not selling out her own corrupt family (even though Logan knew,in his heart,he never would have stood by a group like that if it wasn't for her-he'd have cleaned house.Which is what he did rather violently at the end anyways,so maybe if he had done it sooner,Mariko would still be alive..). 

"You know,if you kept your shirt off like I told you,you'd have scared half the bar away by now,"she said,looking around and obviously trying to change the subject."You have magnificent tatas." 

He covered his face with his hand,trying desperately not to laugh.Helga was the only person he knew who could leave him both infuriated and in hysterics in the same short period of time.After they had gone back to their hotel to clean up and get dressed before hitting the bar,she kept encouraging him to go shirtless,seemingly to annoy him. 

He got a hold of both the urge to laugh and the urge to put her through a table,and asked,"What happened to your family?" 

She glanced back at him,mouth turned down in disappointment."Which?The T'Karii?" 

"Yeah." 

"Watchers got 'em.With my inside information and me not there to help protect them,they were up shit creek." 

"Got 'em?As in..?" 

She nodded,and ran a finger along the base of her neck,in the universal gesture of throat slitting.She didn't even seem the slightest bit sorry about it either. 

Shit.Helga was one cold customer.Especially for a nymphomaniac. 

As he looked away,taking a pull from the bottle just to save him from having to comment on it,she said,"You and I have that in common,Logan.Nobody fucks with us and lives to regret it." 

For some reason,that didn't make him feel very good at all. 

They-especially him-were being watched by almost everyone in the bar,with him being especially singled out for contempt. He also got the sense he was being singled out as prey,which was really funny since he was convinced he could take out everyone in this joint without breaking a sweat.But the sense of eyes on him,making the skin between his shoulder blades itch,was almost unbearable.Then he caught a slightly familiar scent;something like musty old books and graveyard dirt. 

"Bob's playground friend,"a strangely soprano woman's voice cooed,her British accent thick and her delivery strangely sing song,like she was reciting a rhyme."Come to play here." 

He looked over,and standing just off to the right of Helga was that vamp,Drusilla,whom they had seen in the cage.Her dark hair was still back in the same high ponytail,and she still wore that same inappropriate red velvet dress,but up close she seemed even more milky pale,and her sky blue eyes had a distant,glassy cast,as if she lost her mind along with her life. 

She turned her sharp gaze on him and gave him a calculating smile somewhere between amused and ravenous."Human friend plays too.Ooh,he's all wrong." 

"Piss off,Dru,"Helga said,clearly irritated.She was probably now regretting the 'no fighting' rule herself. 

"What do you mean I'm all wrong?"He asked defensively.Not that he cared about some crazy vampire's opinion of him,but it was just the way she put it."All wrong"-what the hell was that supposed to mean? 

She didn't walk over to him more than she glided,holding up the edges of her skirt like she was about to do a pirouette and burst into song.Luckily she didn't."You're the human who's not.The moth who dreams he's a butterfly."She then leaned close and sniffed him.She closed her eyes and made a small noise of pleasure as she smiled in ecstasy."Mmm,your blood tingles,"she said,straightening up and opening those creepily empty eyes of hers.But that smile never left her face."It tickles my nose." 

"The thing you need to know about Dru is she's always incoherent,"Helga said,pointing out the patently obvious. 

"No kiddin',"he replied sarcastically. 

Dru continued to look at him funny,with her head cocked to the side like a parakeet."What?"He wondered.It was really getting on his nerves. 

"They tried to turn you to stone,"she said,apropos of absolutely nothing."You're a tin toy." 

"Aren't there medications that can help you now?"He carped,not sure thorazine would actually work on a vampire.Who knew? 

She laughed.No,it was a cackle,that same noise she made in the cage when that demon lunged for her.He suddenly thought of the Sex Pistols's song "Pretty Vacant",but he had a good idea why."You think you're prepared for everything."She then leaned forward,and whispered conspiratorily,"But you're not." 

"Are you gonna get gone,or do I have to steal one of your dolls?"Helga threatened. 

Dru turned towards her and scowled."You're as mean as Bob." 

"Bob was never mean to you,"she said."He should have been,but he wasn't." 

"He was.He told me if he ever saw me again,he'd be the last thing I ever saw."She pouted like a five year old denied a cookie. 

"Well,that's still nice-you got a warning shot,"Helga pointed out."You shouldn't have.He should have dusted you." 

Dru gave her a truly nasty look.There was something about her face that reminded him of old Daguerrotypes;a sort of Victorian era attractiveness.Could she be that old?Might explain the senility."You're just his tail,snooping around the henhouse." 

"Hey,I'm done with Bob.It was fun,but it's over.I mean,come on,he was a Belial for god's sake." 

"No he wasn't,"Dru replied. 

That piqued Logan's curiosity,but neither of them were looking at him just now.This had the potential for a nasty girl fight, but he would give the edge to Helga,no matter how old Dru was."I'm with Logan now.And I suggest you get out while you still can,Dru-I get in the ring with you,and it's dustbuster time." 

Dru didn't notice the threat or didn't give it much credit,because she looked back at him instead,her wide blue eyes scouring his face as she reached out and touched his chin.He quickly removed her hand,scowling at her for making the move,but she just smiled."Fuzzy little hamster,"she purred,smiling. 

"I am not a hamster!"He snapped,as Helga laughed.So much for loyalty on her part. 

Dru just gave him that edge of sanity grin again,as if she were really enjoying this...whatever 'this' was."But you give nasty scratches.Grrr."She then made a clawing motion in the air,and he suddenly wondered how much she knew about him,and how. 

He never got a chance to ask.One of the big Stansins came over and took Dru's arm."Come on,honey,no bugging the human." 

"He's not human,"she protested."His blood sings." 

"I'm sure it does,"the Stansin agreed amenably,leading her away. 

Dru then turned her fascinated gaze on the Stansin,stroking his muscular arm."You're like a statue made of mold,"she said approvingly. 

The Stansin,probably aware of Dru's 'specialness',continued to humor her as he led her out of the bar."I get that a lot." 

"What the hell was all that about?"Logan asked Helga,as soon as they were out of earshot."And how'd she know about my claws?" 

"I told you,she's psychic.But it does her no good as she can't control it,and she's nuts to boot." 

"She kept saying I wasn't human,"he noted,scowling into his beer. 

"She means mutant,she just doesn't know the right term."She replied dismissively. 

"What about Bob?She said he wasn't Belial." 

Helga shrugged,finishing off her vodka."Well,come on Logan,we both know he's more than your standard issue Belial." 

"So what is he?"He asked,hoping he might finally get a straight answer.Even he couldn't quite believe his own 'demi-god' theory,as much as it sounded good.Believing in 'demons' was one thing;believing in gods was another. 

Helga looked at him,and gave him a small,tight smile."Better than the rest of us." 

Logan knew then Helga actually didn't know what he was,nor did she really want to know.She was just happy with Bob;she didn't want to spoil it with details."Are you scared of him?"He asked,a little surprised at that particular revelation. 

She shook her head vehemently."No,not at all.It's just that...I think if you might not like the answer,you don't ask the question,you know?" 

He nodded.He knew it,all right,but it never seemed to stop him from asking the questions anyways. 

    7 

    Logan stood with his back against the trunk of a towering pine tree,his gun raised and ready to fire as he took a deep breath and scented the air around him. 

There were the usual scents of forest flora and fauna:pine,maple,wildflowers,deer,rabbits,owls,foxes.But he cataloged them at the same time he ignored them,searching for the odors he knew had to be out there.The explosion had knocked him out for a bit,but not that long. 

He got it:men and machine oil.He was downwind from them,so he guessed they were maybe three fourths of a mile ahead, out of the forest and into the fields perhaps,aware that if he got up again they'd be at a great disadvantage in a forest setting.  
He headed out quietly,ignoring the burning pain in his calf as his mangled right leg continued to heal,but the strange sense of being watched made him look around. 

It was then he saw,in the forest clearing near the grenade crater where he had just woken up,was a woman. 

He knew right away she was all wrong.Logan knew he had been all alone here,and he knew,at that time in France,no one was wearing t-shirts and capri pants. 

The petite blonde stared back at him in shock,her pale brown eyes as large as quarters,and he heard her say,as if from far away:"He just saw me." 

Logan woke up,and instantly sat up and started looking around for the blonde woman who had invaded his dream. 

He was alone in the darkened bedroom,save for Helga sleeping peacefully beside him.He didn't get the sense that he was being watched anymore,so he dry washed his face and tried to figure out what the hell just happened. 

He dreamed-was it a memory?-of being in a forest in France time ago.The gun he had...he couldn't remember what kind, but it looked old.A forties model?Early fifties?Something like that.What the hell would he be doing in France with a gun in the '40's or '50's?The words 'Special Forces' floated through his mind,and he wondered if he was in the Army or the Marines.Canadian Special Forces? 

Shit-World War Two.Was he involved in that somehow?He was probably old enough.He then thought,ironically,if that were true he was older than Magneto. 

But,if it was a memory and not a dream,how did the woman come into it? 

She didn't.She was a trespasser- a telepath. 

("He just saw me.") 

That wasn't supposed to happen.He wasn't supposed to know.Too bad. 

He got,quietly so he didn't wake Helga,and parted the veil surrounding the bed,still searching the shadows for strangers.But no,save for their house lizard,they were alone. 

He went to the bathroom and cleaned up,splashing cold water on his face,and figuring he was done with sleep for now. Wasn't that always the way? 

The bedroom terrace doors were open-surely something around here could probably climb the walls,but neither he nor Helga were very concerned about it-because either the air condition conked out or was set to go off at seventy five or something;either way,it was still too muggy.He pulled on a pair of loose black linen pants and went out onto the terrace for a breath of fresher air. 

He wished he had a cigar.He had to ask Pym for some cigars in the morning. 

The sky above was gorgeous;black as oil and scattered with bright white stars,the moon a luminescent crescent of silver,the air sweet with the scent of moonflowers,the fist size white blossoms now open and almost glowing in the moonlight just beneath the terrace. 

So that's why Volta hadn't wanted telepaths here;he only wanted ones that worked for him,ones he could control.He wondered if that had been just a general mind scan,or if he had suspected something.If he had,he doubted she got anything out of him worth anything;his mind wasn't very telepath friendly,not anymore. 

Where would she be hiding?If she was demon,with them;if she was mutant,far from all of them.South side of the island?  
Logan knew he should check it out now.Many demons would be active now,yes,by why would they head South?The action-such as there was-was here,in town. 

He should wake up Helga,but he wasn't going to;he could handle himself,and besides,she probably needed the rest.He didn't know how well she fought while lacking sleep,and he didn't want to find out if he didn't have to.He'd just check it out,get a lay of the land;she could come with him tomorrow. 

There were surveillance cameras in the lobby-he had felt them even if he couldn't see them-and he knew if he left that way he'd not only be spotted but probably followed,especially after that telepath fiasco.Logan looked over the balcony-five stories down to the sand below? 

He could climb it,but curiosity got the better of him.He was sure he could jump it;with the adamantium sheathing his bones,they couldn't break.There was no time like the present to check and see for himself. 

Logan vaulted one handed over the edge of the terrace,and fell five stories to the ground below. 

He managed to land on his feet,a sort of residual 'shock wave' traveling up his legs and throughout his body and making him take a step back as he straightened up,but he was fine.The shock passed fast,and there seemed to be no lingering side effects.Maybe there were some advantages to being laced with adamantium after all. 

"Ooh,you're like us,"a voice said in the stand of trees behind him,and he whirled,popping his claws as he did so,pulling back his arm to take care of whoever the hell was spying on him. 

Dru let out a startled gasped as she took a step back,nearly losing the moonflower she was holding,but he stayed his arm.No killing outside the ring,right?And as annoying as she was,she was harmless.All apologies to Angel,but he just didn't feel vampires were very threatening,at least not to him.Not only did they kill pretty easy,but clean up was a breeze. 

Dru's eyes were wide and shining like flames in the dark,and her shock passed quickly as she gazed at his claws with something like wonder."You're all spiky,"she said,sounding awed,as she came forward and reached out to touch one of his claws.He retracted them back into his hands,and while she started slightly,it wasn't like last time. 

"Are you spyin' on us?"He demanded,annoyed. 

She continued to gaze at his hands,now hanging loose at his side,in fascination,as if waiting for his claws to come out again. Like it was some sort of neat party trick.Finally,she looked up at him,her skin so pale in the moonlight it seemed to glow like the flower in her hand,and she smiled,crimson lips looking black in the night."I was picking flowers for my tea party. Miss Edith gets very cross if the table is only covered with sawdust and bones." 

"Tea party?"He asked incredulously,and then almost asked who the hell 'Miss Edith' was,but then he figured it was probably her imaginary friend.She was,after all,a fucking nutjob.What kind of asshole vamped a crazy person?He shook his head,and said,"Happy drinking." 


	6. Part 6

He started off,heading towards the small stand of coconut palms up the beach;they eventually became a stand of trees, then an honest to god jungle-leading to the supposedly inhospitable south side of the island.The sand was nice on the soles of his bare feet,but the edges of rocks and broken shells sliced the skin.But the pain was always small and momentary;he still healed fast.Moving into the trees and wild grasses was better,although stones,thorny vines,and fragments of wood awaited there. 

Dru followed him.He heard/felt/saw/smelled her,the whole sensory nine yards,and then she spoke."You could come. Miss Edith likes guests,as long as they don't kill the bear before she does." 

"I'm busy."He wasn't even going to ask. 

She was quiet for a minute,although he knew she was still there,and then she said,"You're after the vortex." 

That made him pause and turn around to face her."The what?" 

She just stared at him and giggled."There's a hole in the world,but it makes a terrible noise,like a rabbit in a snare." 

He had the urge to grab her and shake her,but he had to ignore it,because he doubted it would do any good.She had no brains to shake loose."A hole?Where is it?" 

She shook her head,her brown hair swinging like a veil around her face,holding a finger up to her lips as if hushing him. "It's a secret." 

"Volta told you not to tell?" 

She continued to give him a look like he was a foolish child who nevertheless looked extremely edible."It keeps its own secrets." 

"Uh huh."She was nuttier than a hundred pound fruitcake-why the hell was he still talking to her?He turned away to go, but then something occurred to him:if she was psychic,maybe she picked up the telepath."Is there a telepath around here?" 

Dru nodded."She doesn't want to play." 

"Is she a demon or a mutant?" 

"She's Myriast,and she's no fun at all." 

He didn't know if that was a name or a species,but he could ask Helga later.He did agree that she was no fun at all.  
"Is she with the vortex?" 

Dru started swaying to some music only she could hear,and smiled as she twirled,her skirt belling out around her and snagging on thorns."It's such a pretty scream,"she cooed,and Logan listened hard,opening up his senses.He didn't hear a scream- 

But he did hear something weird,didn't he? 

It was a low level,virtually sub-audible hum,like electricity flowing through high tension wires,only it had a slightly higher pitch.It was faint,but it seemed to be coming from the South... 

Hadn't Bob said something about rips in dimensions possibly making noises?Only he and Helga couldn't hear them;just him.Him and Drusilla.He wondered briefly if she had been a mutant before she got vamped. 

"It's getting louder,isn't it?"He said-it was not exactly a question.Could a dimensional rift be causing the ley line degradation?Bob had said portals were hard on reality...whatever that meant. 

Dru continued to sway,humming tunelessly right alone with the drone,and didn't answer him. 

He went on,stalking silently into the jungle,following the noise,and this time Dru didn't come after him.He was rather glad about that;he had enough to handle. 

He even surprised himself with how quiet he could be when he set his mind to it.Leaves barely crunched beneath the pads of his feet,and bats and night birds in the trees made more noise than he did,their wings rustling leaves and their weight swaying branches overhead.Fronds brushed his skin with a noise like dried leaves blown across a rocky path, and small animals darted into underbrush,mistaking him for a deadlier predator. 

The noise became gradually louder,a dense white noise that felt like a headache,and he knew he was on the right track.He began to smell something strange too,like brimstone and freon,mixed in with rotted meat and honey.In fact,it sort of reminded him of that flower that used a rotted meat smell to attract pollinating flies.It was a tropical plant- maybe there was a stand of them around here. 

But the scent remained strong,even as the jungle began to thin,and he figured it was somehow related to the vortex.He didn't know how.He was eager to find out. 

He began to think about things he didn't like to think about;mainly about what he could remember of being operated on, of being cut open without anesthetic,his flesh and muscle peeled back like the tough rind of a tropical fruit.It made him enraged even as he winced at the thoughts,but he had to keep thinking about these things because they were sure to repel Myriast.Telepaths were squeamish about living vivisection,it seemed.Wimps. 

The jungle cleared out too soon,leaving him to stalk silently in the shadowy fringes as he eyed a series of large grey cliffs that appeared to have several caves,possibly naturally formed,possibly carved from the rock itself.One seemed to flicker with a deep reddish light so dark it was almost like a black light (if that was even possible),and he was sure the noise was coming from there. But he saw movements inside that could not be attributed to flickering shadows,and as his eyes focused on the dark movements,he took a deep breath and listened hard,remaining motionless behind what smelled like a mango tree. 

That couldn't be right.He would swear he could hear/smell a small army of very stinky demons,type unclear.And Volta wasn't among them,at least not right now. 

He thought about going ahead and attacking-he didn't care how many warty bastards there were in there,he could take them-but if Volta wasn't there he didn't want to tip his hand just yet.With great reluctance,he decided to head back to the hotel,but he decided to watch just a little while longer,and see if he could get a good look at the demons guarding (?) the vortex. 

At least he had something to tell Bob the next time he checked in.Logan just wished he knew exactly what it all meant. 

** 

    Helga was pretty pissed at him for going off on his own,but was surprised that Dru ended up as being helpful as she was."She must like you,"she suggested,obviously joking,but he didn't appreciate it. 

Myriast was a type of psionic demon,but Helga was surprised he saw her as human;they didn't look particularly human, although they could 'influence' people enough that they could look like anything.She wasn't worried about the Myriast finding anything from her mind,because Bob 'guarded' information about himself carefully,and she felt Logan's mind was so 'fractured',she wished her luck finding anything useful (gee,that was flattering). 

Helga didn't know what to make of anything else he found.A 'vortex' could be a new 'hellmouth' (what the hell was that?),but Bob would have been able to tell,and there'd be no effect on ley lines that she knew of,and besides,as a demon she'd know if there was one (she didn't explain how).She wanted to go out with him tonight and check it out,but she didn't know if she could jump five stories.He offered to go first and catch her. 

As they were about to leave for the arena,Pym brought him the cigars he had requested earlier;wrapped in parchment paper,the six cigars were not cheap.They were aged,probably Cuban,and Helga took one for herself,whispering with a sly smile on her face,"Last smoke."For the condemned-yes,he got that.They expected him to die today. 

Were they in for a shock. 

The Stansin from yesterday was right-there was a door in the lobby that led into a dark underground tunnel made of slick concrete,so it was very reminiscent of a sewer tunnel.Florescent strip lights provided some illumination,but at late sunset sort of levels,making him think these were custom made for vampires to use. 

He lit up one of the cigars on the way,and by the time they reached the upward slope,where the tunnel rose slowly upward into the bowels of the arena,he was almost half way done with it.It was a damn good smoke.The tunnel ended in a metal door that looked like the other side of a janitor's closet,and when he opened the door and let Helga through before he followed,he looked back and saw it was indeed a door marked as a janitorial closet.Cute. 

There was another Stansin waiting for them,and he broke them up,pointing Helga down the rear of the brightly tiled hallway,and him down towards the mouth.The fights weren't segregated,but the 'locker rooms' were.Go figure. 

They weren't rooms more than cubicles about the size of a phone booth with lockers,or at least his was;maybe it was different for the demons. 

With the klieg lights out there he knew it had to be hot,so he took off his rust red t-shirt and shoved it in the locker, along with his socks and boots.He was used to cage fighting barefoot,mainly so he didn't get bloodstains on his boots; they were always a bitch to clean.And since he was probably going to be fighting a demon,he knew their blood stank even worse than human,at least in general.If he got lucky,it'd be a vampire,and there'd be no bloody mess,but he knew better than to count on something as tenuous as luck.Especially since he had a remarkable track record for being very unfortunate indeed. 

He stubbed out the side of his cigar on the side of the grey metal locker and shoved what was essentially the stub of the cigar in the back pocket of his jeans as soon as it was cool enough:he had the others wrapped in the paper and then wrapped up in his shirt,tucked inside the locker.These were too good to waste,especially since he might not get any more after the can of whoop ass he intended to open out there. 

Helga was up first,but he'd asked his muscular Stansin guard-a pleasant enough guy with the ironically appropriate name of Stan-to let him know so he could watch from the locker room doors.When Stan saw him barefoot and shirtless, he asked,with an honest amount of concern,"You're not going to fight like that,are you?" 

Logan nodded."I'm used to it." 

"You're asking to get killed,"he replied,sounding appalled.Like all the Stansin guards he had any contact with,he had a faint Indian accent. 

"Trust me,I know what I'm doing."It was a bit of a sucker's ploy too;opponents seeing him half naked just assumed a vulnerability that he honestly didn't have.They let their guards down,dropped their defenses,and moved in for an easy kill (or knock out,whichever the case was),learning far too late that all his body armor was internal. 

As Stan stood with him at the main locker entrance,looking out towards the arena floor,he saw the Stansins by the cage,and damn if they didn't look just like Stan."Are all you guards related?"Logan asked,mostly out of curiosity. Maybe all Stansin males looked alike,and maybe all the females looked like Helga-how the hell did he know? 

Stan nodded,looking out at the cage with what looked like disapproval."My clan hires itself out as a security firm.The amount of money we were paid to police these fights was obscene,so how could we say no?" 

"No women in it?" 

That made him chuckle."Oh yes,there's women,but they're guarding a casino in Brunei.We got stuck with this gig." 

Logan eyed him curiously."You'd rather not be here?" 

"Not really." 

"Why?" 

Stan shrugged and looked away,although not before he noted Logan noted he looked a bit embarrassed."I'm not into blood sports." 

Logan studied the green demon's profile carefully,and decided he was not lying:he thought that was all that was going on here.He might have suspected there was more to it,but he didn't know what. 

The lights around the arena dimmed,the crowd noise building from a low rumble to a loud roar,and as the kliegs focused on the currently empty cage,Stan,who was probably handsome for a Stansin (he really didn't know how to judge) asked almost as an afterthought,"So you're with Helga,huh?" 

"Yeah."He paused briefly."Know her?" 

Stan nodded,still looking out at the cage."She's pretty wild.If she ever offers you tequila,say no." 

Before he could ask what he meant by that,the announcer with the booming,god like voice came over the loudspeakers, threatening to deafen everyone."Our next event stars the Sadist of the Sewers,Kajiro!"He crowed,as an unknown type of demon who looked (and smelled) like a walking sludge pile came out of the door right next to him.He gave Logan a dirty look as he slogged to the cage."And his opponent,new to the ring,let's here it for Helga!" 

She came out from a door on the opposite side of the arena,still wearing the same clothes she had been wearing when they left the hotel:a plunging metallic gold shirt (really part of a bodysuit,so 'nothing fell out'-"Until I want it to,"she had said with a sly grin."You'd be amazed how distracting most men find bare breasts."As he pointed out,no he wouldn't, but he'd never met a woman who considered it as a tactical move...),denim shorts,and battered sneakers (for 'traction' ). 

In spite of this unique outfit,some of the men (?) in the crowd whistled and howled in approval,and she got fewer boos than Kajiro.The sludge pile was at least a head taller than her,and nearly twice as wide,so he was concerned,and wondered how much trouble he'd get in if he interrupted the fight,but as it turned out he needn't have worried. Although the sludge pile got in a few good hits,and threw her up against one side of the cage,hands(?) wrapped around her throat,he had completely forgotten about her tail.While he was attempting to strangle her,she simply wrapped her tail around his throat,and with a single quick twist broke his neck.The fight took,in total,about three and a half minutes. The announcer boomed her name,and the crowd responded enthusiastically-Helga got the group seal of approval.  Probably being a stunning woman helped an awful lot. 

As soon as Kajiro's body was dragged out of the cage,Stan told him,almost ruefully,"You're up next." 

Logan nodded,glad.He didn't want to wait any longer.But Stan seemed awfully concerned for him,and he felt obscurely bad for him.He would be all right;Stan would soon see that for himself. 

When his opponent was announced-"The Master of Pain,Vladimir!"-he saw he had been teamed up with a guy who was about six feet five and three hundred pounds of muscle;he looked like a professional weightlifter or wrestler,but...oh hey,his luck paid off for once.Even from the locker room doorway,he could smell Vlad was a vampire. 

When his name was announced,the crowd was split between boos and lusty,raucous laughter:they were expecting the Human to die.Logan flashed them his middle finger on the way to the cage,and that provoked more laughter,but he knew they'd be choking on it in a second. 

The Stansin locking the cage door behind him-Stan was left by the locker room,looking worried-whispered,"Are you sure about this?" 

"Hell yeah,"he told him,rolling his head to loosen up his neck.No real need,but it was habit. 

Vlad was leering at him,laughing quietly."You won't even be a decent snack for me,"he spat,his voice tinged with a Russian accent. 

Logan simply stared back at him coldly."Don't bet on it,Ivan." 

The buzzer that substituted for a bell sounded,and Logan knew the move Vlad was going to make before he made it- either he was a piss poor fighter,or he wasn't even trying,writing him off as a lowly human. 

Fine,whatever.Logan took the blow to his jaw and spun with it.Even as Vlad let out a startled yelp from punching a human who seemed to have a jaw made of iron,Logan popped the claws on one hand and swept it around as he spun back around to face the vampire. 

His claws sliced effortlessly through Vlad's neck,and he'd turned just in time to see him shriek (how with a severed head he had no idea) and explode into dust. 

The silence of the crowd was incredible.If it wasn't for the smell,and the tension in the air,you could have thought the arena was empty.There were some very low murmurs,and they sounded disbelieving.Logan knew the deal-he was supposed to be drained by Vlad,be a vamp's dinner,much to the enjoyment of the great unwashed.Now they had no idea how to react,since that had to be the quickest fight of the whole series:thirty seconds,tops?Two blows exchanged,one of them fatal.Not at all the long bloody battle they'd been hoping to see. 

Logan dug his cigar stub out and lit it up,then gave the crowd-which he could only smell,since the lights were focused down on the arena and the other lights were dim;they were all shadow-a teeth baring,leering grin.The bloodthirsty motherfuckers wanted carnage,right?Well,they got it.They should be cheering.But he knew they wouldn't,and he felt like laughing.Who would have ever guessed he would be the one striking a symbolic blow for humanity? 

As the murmuring grew to a discontented rumbling,the announcer said,sounding as stunned as the rest of them and speaking in an atypically low voice,"The winner,Wolverine." 

He had asked to be called Wolverine.He was used to fighting under that name anyways. 

Now the crowd found its voice and started to boo,and the Stansin who unlocked the cage door on his side only  said, "Whoa." 

Yes,that about summed it up. 

It was hearing thrown things bounce off the top of the cage that finally made him laugh,and that made the booing worse,so as he walked back to the locker room with his Stansin guard,he waved sarcastically and provoked another wave of garbage tossing,although none of it managed to hit him.They were not only poor sports,but they had lousy aim. 

It was Stan who escorted him back to his cubicle,and he remarked,"No wonder you weren't concerned."The understatement of the year."Are those...natural? 

"More or less."He sat down on the tiny metal bench in front of the locker,smoking the rest of his cigar,and simply waited as stunned Stan left the room.He had a good idea what was going to happen next,so he simply smoked the rest of his cigar and bided his time.The crowd wanted blood-his blood.Volta was going to try and make that happen. 

It was maybe ten minutes before Stan came in,and did a slight double take."You're not dressed." 

"No.They want me to fight again,don't they?" 

He seemed shocked that he knew."How did you...you've done this before,haven't you?" 

He nodded,dropping the cigar butt on the cement floor and grinding it out with his bare foot.It made Stan wince,but it only hurt for a second,and not very much."I used to make a living on the illegal bare knuckle boxing circuit." 

"Why?"He seemed appalled. 

"They paid in cash,so I didn't leave a paper trail,and I could 'work' whenever the hell I wanted to.And it wasn't like they could ever find a guy who could beat me." 

"Put that way,it almost sounds good."Stan still looked pained."Look...they're going to throw you up against one of the top seeds." 

"Which one?" 

He grimaced."Gorg." 

"Great.I love killing Ressiks.Obnoxious bastards." 

Stan's green eyes widened in surprise."You've killed demons too?" 

"Not a lot,but lately,yeah.Trouble follows Helga and me wherever we go."He felt he ought to throw Helga in there for realism-they were supposed to be a couple,after all. 

He nodded in understanding."That I believe." 

Stan led him out,and this time when he was announced to the crowd,the booing was extremely loud,but there was no laughter at all.Their aim had still not improved,though. 

Gorg was waiting for him in the ring.A grey scaled Ressik,he was about two heads taller than him,and possessed the same dense musculature that seemed typical for his species.He had a broad barrel chest,which he showed off by not wearing a shirt either;he was just wearing black vinyl pants.What a hideous fashion choice,but what did he expect from a demon? 

"I ain't gonna be a pushover like the blood sucker,"Gorg growled,pacing back and forth in a short line before him, massive hands curling into fists at his sides. 

"And I ain't gonna be a pushover like a normal Human,"Logan snarled back. 

Gorg had seen what he had done to Vlad,so he had to assume Gorg would be protecting his throat-without copper,he could only kill him by cutting his head off or breaking his neck,so he'd be especially cognizant of keeping that area covered.He was going to have to have to go for the body,and keep at him until he dropped his guard and he got a clear shot.And having seen Gorg in action,he knew exactly what strategy to use. 

As soon as the signal sounded,he attacked Gorg. 

Gorg's opponents usually hung back,as if not wanting to risk his wrath,and being on the offensive seemed not only to suit Gorg,but he seemed to prefer it.So he intended to throw him off his game immediately by putting him on the defensive. 

He moved in with a sharp jab to the stomach and an upper cut that caught him under his lantern jaw,making him stumble back a step.The crowd was now screaming,sure the stupid Human had made a fatal mistake,and certainly Gorg himself seemed to think so.As Logan threw a sharp left,Gorg ducked it and jabbed out with a right uppercut of his own, which caught Logan under the jaw.Being pretty close to stone himself,the Ressik didn't seem to notice or care that Logan had metal in his body,and while the punch was hard enough that he felt like he had been smacked across the face with an I-beam,he made the conscious decision to take a beating.It was the easiest way to get your opponent to drop his guard:by making him think he was completely beating the shit out of you. 

To be fair,the beating did hurt;Ressiks were strong sons of bitches,and each punch felt like he was being bludgeoned with stones.He fell back against the cage as Gorg rained blows on his,serious,bone shattering (well,if his bones could shatter) punches to his face,stomach,neck,and even arms when he attempted to block blows,letting his ass kicking appear gradual and natural. 

Gorg was really buying it."Fucking human,"he growled under his breath with each hit."You don't belong here.Know your fucking place,dog food." 

It really did hurt.One blow to the face split his bottom lip open,he felt the skin tear and tasted the blood,but it healed almost instantaneously as he choked on Gorg's cheap shot punch to the throat,and then felt Gorg viciously drive his knee right into his balls as he pounded away on Logan's stomach,especially going for the kidneys.They were the cheapest of cheap shots,completely unnecessary,but he had pissed Gorg off by landing the first punch.Good-that was his intention:the extremely angry didn't think very clearly.And he had to remember that as his own sense of rage spiked, inflamed by the intense pain being inflicted upon him right now.(Man,did he hate shots to the nuts.Seriously,how low could you go?) 

The crowd was literally on its feet cheering as Gorg hit him so hard across the face Logan dropped to one knee,and he heard the Ressik curse under his breath as he grabbed his hand-aww,finally hurt his hand on his adamantium reinforced face,did he?-and drive his knee up into his face,shattering his nose. 

Logan rolled with the blow,even as the blood spurted down his nasal cavity and down into his windpipe,and the pain and intensely uncomfortable healing of his nose pushed him to the breaking point.He could be a patient man if he had to be,but even he had his limits. 

Logan rolled up to his feet,spitting out blood on the aluminum covered floor,as Gorg charged in to finish the job he thought he had started.Logan telegraphed a wild,seemingly desperate left to Gorg's gut,and the demon caught his wrist easily."Stupid son of-"he began,but never had a chance to finish,because Gorg had left an opening in his guard when he grabbed his hand.At the same second he had grabbed his wrist and attempted idiotically to crush it,Logan threw a low right hook to the throat,popping his claws at the last possible second,and burying them deep in Gorg's thick,rubbery neck.The tips burst out the other side in a small spray of black blood. 

Gorg just stared at him,paralyzed,red eyes wide in horror as he realized what Logan had just done;not only put the claws in his neck,but lured him into a false sense of superiority by taking the beating.The crowd fell silent after a collective horrified gasp-it seemed everyone but him had forgotten about his claws. 

Even as blood began oozing out of the corner of his mouth,he said quite sincerely,"Fucking hell,Human-you're good." 

"Thanks,"Logan replied,ripping his claws all the way though the back of his neck,sending Gorg's head flying across the ring.He significantly shorter body stood for a moment,even as his head came to a rest in the far corner of the cage,and then finally toppled over,like a redwood that had finally met the end of its days. 

The crowd was making noises again,but they were grumbles of unrest,anger stoked as opposed to sated.There were some boos,but they sounded disheartened,and even the shower of garbage had lost some of its oomph."The winner, Wolverine."The announcer said,sounding more robust but still disillusioned. 

The opposite side of the cage was opened,and a very nervous looking warty demon came and collected Gorg's body and head,but on his side of the ring the Stansin was off to one side,listening to something coming through the receiver clipped onto his ear like a clunky earring.When he turned back to face him,Logan wasn't surprised to see him grimacing painfully."I'm gonna fight the next guy,right?"Logan said,sparing the Stansin as he used his forearm to wipe the blood off his face.He wished he had a towel and a glass of water (or better yet,a whiskey),but he knew that was unlikely to happen. 

The Stansin nodded,looking deeply regretful,like the reluctant executioner about to pull the lever and activate the chair."Yeah.The boss says if you beat the next three guys,you get a 'buy' into the championship level." 

Logan smirked at him."Only three?Maybe he just oughta save us all some time and send 'em in together." 

The Stansin didn't think he was serious."Are you all right?I've never seen a Human take a beating like that." 

"I've had worse."And perhaps the saddest part of that was it was true.Again,it was a very rare situation where he hadn't had worse.Sometimes he really hated his life. 

But Logan turned to face his next opponent as he plodded to the ring,a demon that looked like a very tall pile of basalt and whose footsteps seemed to make the ground shake,and hoped this wouldn't take to long.But really,it didn't matter. He could fight all night;he had before. 

What he really wanted was a drink,and a meeting with Volta.He'd slay an army of demons if that's what it took,but Logan knew,one way or another,he would get what he wanted. 

    8 

    Stan was like a nervous date when he finally was allowed to return to the locker room."I've never seen them make them fight five people in a row.It was like they were trying to kill you or something!" 

"They were,"Logan replied wearily,wondering if Stan had a crush on him or something.Or maybe all Stansins were this nice,with the slightly rougher hewn Helga being the sole exception.In fact,there was a towel and a bottle of water on his metal bench when he entered the his cubicle.Stansins were the Swedes of demons. 

He toweled the demon blood of his face and hands (the rest could waiting until he showered back at the hotel),and gulped down his bottle of water as Stan continued to fret."Why would they do that?" 

"Notice the crowd,Bruce Banner?"He said,as soon as he finished off his water.He put the bottle aside,and pulled his clothes out of his locker and started putting them on."They want me dead.He was just trying to give the people what they wanted." 

"Bruce Banner?"Stan muttered to himself,his wide green brow wrinkling in thought.Logan had pulled on his shirt and had just sat down to put his socks on when Stan finally said,"Oh,the Incredible Hulk guy."He then glanced at his arm as if to confirm his skin was indeed green."I get it.Cute."There was a pause before Stan said,"This doesn't bother you at all,does it?" 

"After a while,people always tryin' to kill you gets old." 

"It happens a lot?" 

Before he could answer him,the door opened,and a bronze scaled Ressik in a navy blue Armani suit filled the doorway, looking dyspeptic and otherwise angrily constipated."Wolverine,come with me,"he barked,sounding like he had a Brooklyn accent.Maybe he did. 

Stan actually tensed as he turned towards the Ressik,as if gearing up for a fight."Why should he?"He demanded,as Logan finished putting his boots on.He just glanced up,amused that Stan was ready to act as bodyguard. 

"The boss wants to see him,"the Ressik replied curtly,his piss yellow eyes glaring at Stan in an expression that seemed to say "Know your place,asshole". 

Stan scowled,doubtful,but Logan had been hoping this would be the end result.He stood up,and said," 'S okay,Stan.The boss would never deprive his audience of a show."Meaning,of course,he wouldn't kill him where the crowd couldn't view it and shout their approval. 

Stan gave him a dubious frown,but stepped aside,adding,"Good luck." 

Logan nodded,and followed the New York Ressik out the door. 

He followed him wordlessly down a cross corridor,dimly lit and smelling of cleaning solvents,which ended in an elevator.Reluctantly he got in,ready to take the Ressik down (surely he was packing heat,but it would do no good),but although he was generally contemptuous of him,he didn't seem ready to attack him.There wasn't any buttons inside the elevator,and as soon as the door closed,the Ressik said tersely,"Mayvik."Then the elevator hummed to life and began to ascend.A voice activated lift? 

"So who is this guy?"Logan asked,still pretending he was clueless. 

The Ressik-Mayvik?-was standing rigidly face forward,towards the door,as if they were uncomfortable strangers sharing the lift.The sidelong glance was full of an astounding amount of hate."This 'guy' is the man you want to make happy,so show some respect-if you know what that means." 

"Is that like Russian?"He asked,being a deliberate asshole. 

The Ressik's glare turned molten."He said I couldn't kill you,but he didn't say anything about not ripping your tongue out." 

Logan returned his glare."You're welcome to try,lizard face." 

But the elevator came to a stop,and the doors slid open on what appeared to be a private bar with a large window overlooking the entire arena:in other words,a private 'skybox'.Who knew you could get them in blood sports? 

Logan began to think about being vivisected again,concentrating on the particularly nasty details,because he was willing to bet that the Myriast was around somewhere,protecting her 'boss'.Mayvik led the way into the golden carpeted skybox,and Logan saw,sitting on a plush red velvet sofa to the right of the small mahogany bar,Volta himself, looking casually preppy in khaki pants and a brown turtleneck,a margarita glass in his left hand. 

"Welcome,Wolverine.Or can I call you Logan?" 

"Wolverine's fine,"he said,glancing around the room.Behind the bar was a woman with long golden brown hair,wearing a strapless red dress.She looked perfectly Human,but smelled all wrong-the Myriast in 'disguise'?She met his gaze with unreadable,seemingly expressionless hazel eyes,and shoved a full margarita glass across the bar towards him. 

"Mojito?"She said,wincing slightly.That confirmed she was the Myriast as far as she was concerned-she just got a lovely mental glimpse of his chest wall being peeled back to expose his sternum. 

"Sure,"he agreed,going to take the drink.It was some trendy,frou-frou rum drink,but it packed a good punch.He took a surreptitious sniff before drinking it all down in a single gulp.All he could smell was the mint and rum,but he knew some drugs had no scents.He left the empty glass on the bar before turning back to face Volta."So why the hell am I here?" 


	7. Part 7

Volta smiled,which looked really weird.Not only because his face looked like it was carved from slate,but also because he had no lips at all."You know,we've had various contests all over the world for years,and never have we had a human make it past the second round." 

"First time for everything,"he said,walking up to the window looking over the arena.It looked like Crayax was brutalizing someone far below,and the crowd was just eating it up.Not literally,but they were probably saving that for the barbecue later. 

In the reflection off the window,he saw the woman wince again,grabbing her head like she had had a sudden migraine attack,and Volta looked at her,but he couldn't tell his expression;he was seeing the reflection of the back of his beveled skull.Logan concentrated hard on the excruciating feeling of drowning,of chemical laden water filling his lungs-he really didn't know if that had actually happened,or if it was something that Erasmus and Omen had cooked up and planted in his mind, but it had felt real,and was so hideous he still felt himself panicking just thinking about it.It was agonizing,not only in the feelings of it but the sheer helplessness of it,of drowning in maybe two feet of water with people watching,unable to even sit up or raise his head above the water line because he was chained down to the bottom of the vat. 

"I-I'm sorry,I have to go,"the woman stammered,and Logan recognized the voice,but quickly buried the thought.It was her,all right."Excuse me." 

Volta mouthed something to her-he couldn't see what-but she shook her head vehemently before disappearing into the elevator and leaving.He couldn't help but smile to himself:the one good thing about telepaths constantly fucking with him was he had finally learned counter measures to throw them off their game. 

As soon as Myriast was gone,that left him alone with Volta,Mayvik,several surveillance cameras, and at least one more armed Ressik bodyguard in a hidden room (off to the left side-it looked like a wall panel,but he could hear him breathing and feel him watching,and there was the scent of him and the gun oil)."I guess I don't need to tell you you're not very popular right now,"Volta continued,turning back to look at him.Logan quickly diverted his gaze to the cage below,so he didn't notice Logan had been watching him and the rest of the room the whole time. 

"I'm shattered,"Logan replied,wondering if he could light up a cigar right now. 

"You should be concerned.Life won't be very easy for you here from now on." 

"Your boy brought me into this,"he snapped,finally turning away from the window to look at the stone faced demon."You didn't want me,you shouldn't have invited me." 

Volta's black eyes,which looked like built in wrap around sunglasses,gazed at him impassively."I think it's clear with your claws and your ability to use them-don't think I didn't notice you use strategy more than a random brawler should-and your ability to heal rapidly you're going to go very far." 

Logan stared at him."Put it on the table,okay?I don't like dicking around.Are you gonna pay me to take a dive?" 

Volta smiled again,which looked like a rock splitting open from the inside out."Do you have a price?" 

"I might be open to negotiation." 

Volta smirked,looking down at the golden carpet.Logan was glad the Myriast was gone,because there was no way in fucking hell he could completely fake trusting this sleazy son of a bitch.After all,this was all a big ruse,wasn't it?There was no ten million dollars to be had."Get to the final round,I'll pay you a million dollars to go down and make it look good.I guarantee Crayax will not kill you." 

"How do you know Crayax will make it to the final round?" 

"Look at him,"he said,gesturing to the window with his drink."I bet he could destroy you too." 

"Gonna put money on that?"Logan wondered.Was Crayax in on the ruse?Dollars to doughnuts he was Volta's boy,the ringer that no one else in the competition was supposed to know about.Was he aware of Volta's master plan?The vortex? 

"Well,if I'm offering you payment,that's one way to look at it,"Volta replied smoothly. 

Logan pretended to think it over,ignoring the dirty looks from Mayvik,standing close to him on the left,but out of his hidden friend's line of fire."No way.Five million,or no go." 

"You greedy fucking Human dog,"Mayvik snapped,outraged,as Volta grinned,showing teeth like black glass. 

"Half the pot,"Volta noted. 

"There's no incentive for me not to take that ugly fuckers head off without at least five.Otherwise I guarantee I'm going for the ten.I hope they make body bags big enough from whatever the hell Cryass is." 

Volta continued to give him that creepily amused smile,like he was the funniest goddamn talking monkey he had ever met.Logan wanted to rip it off his face,permanently (like the Ressiks were a genuine threat to him),but truth be told,he still had no idea what was going on,and what would happen to the vortex if he killed Volta now.Most likely nothing,but with shit this weird,you could never know for sure."Fine.Half it is.But you don't try and kill Crayax.'Cause if you do,I can't guarantee he'll hold his part of the bargain." 

"What guarantee do I got that he will anyways?" 

"He'll listen to me,"he replied smoothly.Logan didn't trust this son of a bitch as far as he could throw the rock of Gibraltar.But what was the actual point of this meeting?Having Myriast (now departed) scope him out,because the dream thing turned out so badly? 

"Half up front,"Logan said,as if he was serious about this.If he got in the cage with Crayax he was going to make him the demon equivalent of cole slaw. 

"The day of the match,"Volta said."You'll get half.You'll get the rest after the match.And if you do seriously injure Crayax and break the deal,I can guarantee you won't leave Dis alive.Is that clear?" 

"The same goes for him,"Logan countered."He actually tries to kill me,all bets are off.Comprende?" 

Volta nodded,but in a way that suggested he was trying desperately to rein in his temper."Of course.You're free to go,Mister Logan.Or should I say Wolverine?" 

"Call me Sally if you want,just give me the money in small,unmarked bills,"he replied,walking back to the elevator.He kept all his senses open,on high alert,ready to counter any attack that might come now that his back was turned. 

Volta chuckled,a sound like two rocks scraping together."I like your style,Human.It's been a pleasure doing business with you." 

Logan grunted noncommittally,barely relaxing his guard even when he was in the elevator and facing Volta and his Ressik minion again. 

Maybe Helga could help him puzzle out what the whole point of this episode was,unless it was a test of some sort. 

Then he just had to figure out whether he had passed or failed. 

** 

    As soon as the blood and sweat reeking Human was gone,Volta pulled his two way radio out of his front pocket and quickly thumbed the receiver."Niobe,come in,"he said,quietly vowing to dismember that meatbag fuck if he had hurt her. 

"I'm here,"she said,still sounding faint and pained. 

"Was he a telepath?" 

"No,he's...oh god,his mind is a fucking nightmare,"she gasped,and it sounded like she was helping herself to a nice,strong drink."He was tortured at some point in his life,maybe recently,I don't know,but he kept thinking about it.I just couldn't bear it.I'm not going in there again." 

"Tortured?"He asked,curious."Is that related to his World War Two dream the other night?" 

"No,I don't think so.This seemed more higher tech,guys peeling his skin back or something-"She made a noise that he associated with a shudder."It was awful.I don't know how he didn't run screaming from the room." 

Volta considered that carefully.There was something about Logan that he not only didn't like,but seemed to set off alarm bells inside his mind.He didn't like Humans as a rule-scummy meatbag leeches that they were-but the freaky muties were even worse.At least he'd wipe this scourge off the face of the earth once and for all,but it couldn't be soon enough for him.And he worried that a mutant freak like Logan would hold out for a while if he didn't see to the problem personally."Do you think it was deliberate?"He wondered.He figured he was an idiotic redneck dirtbag,but his use of honest to god strategy convinced Volta there might be more going on under that ugly mug of his. It was quite possible he was milking the stupid thing to try and fool everyone. 

Niobe paused for a long time.He preferred her in her natural state,rather than the Human guise she adopted around other humanoid bipeds,but even she felt it was for the best that the others didn't know what she really was,since it was quite probable other demons might object to her random mind probes."I didn't sense intent,"she finally said."I didn't sense a lot of anything except rage.He's a very angry man,and after looking into his mind I think I see why." 

"He's psychotic?" 

"He's...I doubt his sanity.There seem to be lots of black spaces in his mind.And what's filled in isn't pretty.He's not Dru,but his mind is almost as...shattered.That's about the only way I can describe it." 

"Is this good or bad?"Mayvik wondered testily.His dislike of the mutant was obvious,and he could hardly blame him. 

"I'll consider it a plus,"he told him,turning off the radio."The crazy are unpredictable,but if you know how to push their buttons, they're relatively easy to control.Also,I doubt Bob would use the violently unstable as his agent-he's just too fucking goody two shoes." 

"Who the hell is this Bob anyways?"Mayvik asked impatiently,his face screwing up in a way that made him look like he had just bit into a lemon. 

"A complete motherfucker who seems to get a perverse enjoyment out of ruining everything for everyone else,"he replied coldly,wondering where on earth he was. 

His agents in Australia had turned up no actual sign of Bob Black,making Volta wonder if he too had changed his name.He had used several aliases officially,although usually kept the first name Bob,if only so he'd always remember it.Rumors had him in England,America,and,according to one usually reliable source,Iceland,but no one had been able to confirm his physical presence in any country.The problem there was Bob was probably powerful enough by now that he could easily convince people staring him in the face that he didn't actually exist.Bob would only leave an easily traceable trail if he wished to be found,which was a bit of a catch twenty two,because Volta would doubt any discovery of Bob,figuring it was a deliberate plant by Bob to throw him off the trail.No one could disappear-in every sense of the word-as completely as Bob.In a way,he was a living myth. 

He knew,way back when he started planning this after his resurrection-courtesy of the strangely forgiving Arakis-that Bob would be his biggest problem on this plane if he caught wind of this.Even Arakis knew it,and seemed to want Bob gone for reasons that were never quite clear,except she thought he was an asshole too.If he could complete the binding ceremony before Bob found out about this or found a way to get through his defenses,Bob would be as powerless as his Human pets.And the closer they came to zero hour,the more convinced he grew that Bob was lurking in the wings,waiting to strike as soon as the Cabal was at its most vulnerable. 

But time was running out if Bob was out there,aware of what was going on.Crayax was almost strong enough,and setting all those fighters against Logan had helped,as that simply increased the bloodshed and the rage.Logan was-in an ironic twist he was surely too thickheaded to ever appreciate-feeding the fire that was going to exterminate his entire race. 

The more Volta thought about it,it was wonderful poetic justice.The first Human who had a realistic shot at winning an ultimate champion fight was going to trigger the downfall of the entire species.Talk about winning the battle but losing the war. 

Volta was almost sorry that there probably wouldn't be a championship final;he would have loved to have seen the look on Logan's face as the enormity of what was happening finally sunk in,and he realized he had helped destroyed the world as he knew it. 

A double shame Logan was never going to live to see it anyways. 

    9 

    Helga jumped on him the minute he got in the door,and once she got her tongue out of his mouth,she complimented him on his 'testosterone oozing' (well,that sounded sick) performance. Apparently,watching him kick all that demon ass turned her on. 

What a strange,strange woman.But seriously,who was he to object?The meeting with Volta would make great pillow talk. 

Of course,it didn't turn out quite that way.Although he was tired,he still had a remarkable amount of energy to burn off,and sex with Helga was sort of an athletic experience:he bet she never had any normal Human lovers,because frankly she would kill them.He wondered how close to death she had brought him,and how often.They way he was built,he couldn't really tell. 

He must have fallen asleep afterwards,although he had no honest recollection of it,because the next thing he knew he found himself on a beach.Not the beach outside their hotel,but a wide, sandy beach,the golden sand stretching for meters in nearly every direction,except where it met the ocean. 

And the ocean was something.A deep,rich blue,it seemed to stretch for miles,disappearing into the horizon,large waves crashing onto the shore and scattering white foam like the detritus of clouds over wet sand and black reefs on the far side of the beach.Logan saw,as a brightly colored speck on the near horizon,some dumb ass surfer attempting to ride a wave that looked like a miniature tidal wave,a large funnel shaped wave that looked like it was starting to collapse in on itself as it roared towards the shore.The surfer continued to skim along the top of the curve,flirting with imminent disaster. 

He looked up to see he was being shaded by a parasol,and laying on a beach towel that had a picture of a hairy animal on it-oh,a wolverine.How fucking funny.He now knew Bob was responsible for this,if he had no idea earlier. 

Helga was sitting beside him in a beach chair,directly under the brightly colored,red and green striped parasol.Still wearing her red bikini (now she was wearing the top),she was now reading a well thumbed paperback book titled "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy",and had what looked like a glass of ice tea held between her knees.From the smell,he knew it was actually a Long Island Iced Tea. 

"Does this have something to do with sex?"He hissed at her,sitting up.He was wearing his black trunks from earlier,but that was it."How come every time we sleep together,Bob shows up?" 

She glanced at him curiously over the top of her book,softly arching a single eyebrow at him. "Seems like coincidence to me,Logan." 

"Once is coincidence;twice is conspiracy." 

She gave him that feral grin again,chuckling faintly."You're even more paranoid than I am. Congrats." 

"I'm serious,Helga." 

"So am I." 

He shook his head,sure he wasn't going to get a straight answer from her.He heard music playing softly-sounded like the Foo Fighters-but looking around he could not find the low tuned radio it must have been coming from.More Bob head games,presumably. 

Speaking of Bob,he started to wonder where he was,but then noticed the surfer,riding the wave in, had bright yellow and green colored jams on.The realization that it was Surfer Bob was not as surprising as the fact that the massive,white capped wave finally collapsed in on itself,spilling Bob and his surfboard head first into the ocean.If this was his mind,why did that happen? 

There was a moment when the water settled,and the only thing that could be seen was Bob's board-red with a wide black stripe,it had a large skull and crossbones on it,only the skull was wearing a large,rainbow colored afro wig and a blue clown nose, with a green feather boa draped over its crossed bones (a surfboard didn't actually exist that looked like that,did it?And if so,good lord why?)-bobbing in the slightly turbulent surf,but then Bob surfaced,instantly shaking his wet hair out of his eyes."I really do need to work on the whole stopping thing,"he shouted,grabbing his board and swimming to shore. 

"I never imagined you as a surfer,"Logan replied,suddenly able to see that there was writing on the end of the board in small black letters.If he was reading them right,it said:"Dead clowns squirt no seltzer". 

He was never going to get Bob's sense of humor.Not in a million years. 

"I'm a Sydney boy,"he shouted back,finally close enough to shore to walk in."I surf better than I drive." 

"How can you tell?" 

Helga laughed,but quickly buried her face in her book. 

Bob grimaced humorously at him,walking up onto the beach with his dead clown board under one arm,water sluicing off him and making his loud shorts cling to him like a second skin."For a guy not known for his sense of humor,you have a quick wit,Logan." 

"Witty bon mots don't stop people from trying to kill you,"he pointed out,not sure if Bob had been making fun of him or not.No,probably not.Nor did he bother to mention that,according to Bob himself,he was originally from England (several hundred years ago,but still...) and demon anyways. 

Bob threw his board on the sand about a meter away from him,out of the penumbra of shade and in the bright,unrelenting sunshine,and sat down upon it,pulling a pair of dark blue sunglasses out of nowhere (indeed,they just appeared in his hand) and slipping them on."Indeed,it sometimes makes people want to kill you all the more."He then grinned at them both,brushing wet strands of hair off his forehead before saying,cheerfully,"So how are things on the lovely isle of Dis?" 

"Well,I got to kill me a Gr'grz'kyvlek,and Logan dazzled the crowd with his macho butchness," Helga replied,taking a sip of her alcoholic iced tea. 

"His machismo is like the sun:stare into it too long and you go blind,"Bob replied with mock solemnity.When Logan gave him a deadly scowl,he gave him his patented shit eating grin."Just takin' the piss,mate.Do I take it they tried to kill you already?" 

Before he could say anything,Helga told him,"They had him fight five demons in a row.A bunch of badasses too-Ressiks, Thhorrens, M'griens." 

"Shit.You're okay though,huh?"Bob asked him,seemingly concerned. 

"Ain't I always?"He snapped,unexpectedly annoyed. 

"What the hell's eating you?"Helga suddenly asked,sounding annoyed herself. 

But Bob continued to frown at him in a concerned manner."What happened,Logan?" 

He told them both about his brief,puzzling meeting with Volta after the matches,and Helga clapped him on the shoulder,her hand cold and wet from her sweating drink glass."Good show, Logan!Running a Myriast busybody out of the room." 

"Bad memories as a tactical weapon,"Bob mused,lifting an eyebrow."Good use of horrid shit.But you don't think he really wanted to bribe you to take a dive." 

"No.It was just a test,or an opportunity to scan me up close.Otherwise,I don't know what else it could have been." 

Bob looked out at the choppy aquamarine ocean,frowning in thought."He's suspicious.He really did put in all those security precautions for my benefit." 

"Why would he think I'm working with you?"Logan asked.Did Bob have a pattern of getting Humans to do his dirty work? 

"He's probably suspectin' everyone at this point.Things must be coming to a head.Until it's over,he expects me to burst in stage left any second now,with air support from the Mexican Army and four thousand ninja Berserkers." 

"Sounds like a plan,"Logan said,only partially sarcastic."But what the fuck is he doing?And what the fuck do you plan to do about it?" 

Bob sighed like a balloon deflating rapidly and collapsed back on his surfboard,staring up at the sky through his blue tinted glasses."Well,let's see:vortex,ley line degradation,a whole bunch of dead people." 

"And a new Hellmouth is out,"Helga interjected. 

"Right.So why are the ley lines degrading?Is it some form of occult erosion,or perhaps a draining ..."he paused,then said,"That's it.The energy is being drained off in such massive quantities its doing beaucoup damage." 

"Why's it being drained off?"Logan asked,still not completely sure he got any of this."For what purpose?A machine or somethin'?" 

Bob turned his head towards him,giving him a pensive look."What?A machine?" 

Logan shrugged."Like I know what the fuck this is about."He'd just been falling back on Magneto and his weird ass machine. 

"Feeding the machine,huh?Feeding the-"Bob suddenly gasped,and sat up,looking at him in slack jawed shock."That's it,Logan-he's using the ley lines to feed the vortex." 

"What?" 

"How's he doing that?"Helga asked."And what kind of vortex is it?" 

"Well,ley lines wouldn't just feed any vortex.This would have to be dimensional in nature." 

"Wasn't that what he was doin' when you killed him last time?"Logan interjected."Trying to open a dimensional portal or something?" 

"Yes.but that didn't cause a lot of ley line disruption.Even if he was opening up Arakis's dimension again,it wouldn't cause this kind of damage." 

"So this is bigger,"Helga said,concurring. 

Bob nodded."Much bigger.In fact,at the rate the energy is being siphoned off-holy shit!" 

"What?"Logan wondered."Is he going to suck us all into a black hole or something?" 

"You wish,"he replied cryptically,gnawing on his lower lip as he seemed briefly lost in thought."The problem was we were thinking in the singular when we should have been thinking in the plural. Several vortices being opened-or trying to open several vortices at once." 

"And what's the point of that?"Logan asked. 

Bob frowned,and made himself look older,although not for long."He's trying to shatter the fabric of reality itself.Holy Jesus lizard,he's going for broke.He's not trying to open the one measly portal, he's trying to open them all." 

"Can he do that?"Helga asked,sounding dubious. 

"What does that mean exactly?"Logan persisted. 

"Well,I'm guessing he's opening up portals to some of the uglier dimensions,which would mean when reality crashed-and under that strain,it would spectacularly-Humanity can kiss its collective ass goodbye.So could some of the more peaceable demons:demon chow for sure." 

Logan stared at him,shaking his head slowly."Why?I know I'm missin' something.And the shorthand English version please." 

Bob sighed,but not in an impatient way.It was more frustrated than that."Think of each dimension layered one on top of each other,like lasagna noodles in a big pan.But they don't touch, because their natural polarity keeps them apart.But by trying to open all these portals at once,he is trying to alter enough of this dimension's natural polarity that it will 'flip'-literally match the harmonics of the intruding dimensions.When that happens,the floodgates open." 

"Everything from that dimension-dimensions-exist here now,no portals necessary."Helga continued, sounding grim."Tidy set up." 

"But why does this doom humanity?"He asked,feeling like he was following it in theory.Although this parallel dimension shit still seemed like so much nonsense to him.And the lasagna metaphor really sucked,but he assumed Bob knew that. 

" 'Cause there's no way in hell it's prepared for the gate crashers that will come falling through the door,"Bob replied."Especially if Arakis and her party people are among the crew,and I'm sure they are." 

"She could have brought him back,"Helga said. 

Bob nodded."Probably.She's usually not that forgiving of people who fail her,though." 

"He was probably her best bet in a long time." 

"In that case,how sad is she?"Bob asked rhetorically.He idly brushed sand off his leg,and muttered,"But it doesn't make sense. Even if Arakis threw all her weight behind him,she alone does not have enough power in this dimension-without an open doorway-to help him fuel all this.There has to be a shadow player-or players-we don't know about." 

"The blood sacrifices could be appeasement to a demon god,"Helga suggested."It could be payment for his or her help." 

Bob nodded."Which leaves the field open to a hundred candidates,and we just don't have the time to dick around."He stood up,hands clenching and unclenching in a nervous gesture that was not only unfamiliar for him but troubling.Since when was Bob ever nervous?"We're gonna have to move ASAP.We can't let this decay-and blood sacrifice-continue." 

"Fine.So what's the plan?"Logan asked,standing up as well.He barely avoided the edge of the parasol and nearly knocked it over, but that was okay,because in the blink of an eye it was suddenly gone. 

"I'll get back to you on that.Be ready to move just before dawn-that's when most of your nocturnal demons are in a precarious state." 

"Move and do what?"He reiterated,suddenly seized by the feeling that Bob was completely at sea. He was at a loss as to what they were supposed to do. 

But Bob's eyes,now almost black hidden behind electric blue lenses,met his fearlessly,and he told him:"Take the battle to him.To all of them." 

"Look,honey,I know we can kick anything's ass,"Helga said,walking towards him.She was on her feet too,drink,book,and chair completely gone."But we don't know who-and how many-we're dealing with here.And Volta's obviously worked out a contingency plan for you."She slid her arms around his waist,her tail flicking back and forth in a metronomic pattern. 

Bob looked down at her,and one corner of his mouth quirked up,as if he found Helga's concern for him more than a little funny. "Yes,well,I have a little surprise in store for him.I'm not comin' in alone,and I don't mean just you guys either.I'm bringin' more friends,and we're all gonna trash his house." 

"Who?"She asked,before Logan could. 

Bob smiled,but it seemed grimly determined,not at all smug or secretly amused like almost every other smile Bob was capable of forming.That's how Logan knew this was all really,really bad. "You'll see."He then kissed the top of her forehead,and he looked at Logan over the top of her head. "Wait for my signal." 

It was then,just as he was opening his mouth to say something,that the lights seemed to go out again,and then he woke up,back in the darkened hotel bedroom in Dis. 

"Goddamn it!"Helga exclaimed,sitting up and punching the mattress."How dare he break the link without telling me what he's doing!I'm gonna kick his ass for this!" 

"You might not have to,"he told her,staring up at the ceiling through the black canopy shrouding their bed.The fact that Bob had actually seemed anxious left him unnerved-if Bob wasn't powerful enough to handle this,who would be?"Volta might do it for you." 

She said nothing to that.What could she say? 

But he knew they were both wondering exactly who Bob intended to bring in as the cavalry. 

**** 

    Jean finished sweeping up the broken glass in the biology lab,feeling like a complete idiot.She was so glad none of her students were here when it happened. 

Yes,okay,she was a little upset;Scott was being childish.Just thinking about their argument this morning made her ticked off all over again,sending a flush of heat to her face.But she quickly clamped it down and shoved it aside.She was lucky there was no else here,and lucky it was only a coffee mug that exploded when her anger decided to manifest itself in a physical way;if she ever let that happen again,she might not be that lucky. 

This was a perfect example of why she could not get emotional.Anger seemed to feed her telekinesis,make it more prone to 'misfire', and she couldn't afford to have it happen ever again.She could not allow her emotions to run away with her.Too bad no one taught a class on how not to feel.Wasn't that Zen,though,part of the Zen philosophy?Maybe she had that wrong.She had to look that up.She could just ask Marie,but that felt funny,especially since she only mentioned it as part of something she had absorbed from Logan.Somehow she couldn't ever imagine Logan even attempting to learn the Zen philosophy,but she supposed if anyone needed that kind of peace of mind,it was him. 

She had just dumped the dustpan full of ceramic shards into the wastebasket by her desk when she sensed she was not alone.Not only that,but there was a strange psychic pressure right along with it,a feeling that was almost familiar... 

She turned and gasped,jumping slightly as she saw Bob standing in the corner of the room. 

"Sorry to barge in like this,"he said,walking between the rows of desks casually,as if he was supposed to be here."But I have a  favor to ask."Suddenly,he paused,and cocked his head at her in a curious way."Repressing emotions actually leads to stuff like this. You need to own them,Jean, not repress them even further." 

"How is that a favor?"She snapped in irritation.All she needed now was a 'demon' busybody.If that's what he was. 

He certainly looked human;in fact,he looked like a male model,and after he did that guest lecture on theoretical physics that the Professor had invited him to do,all the girls in the school seemed to have a major crush on him.Even Storm,to her horror,mentioned he was an 'attractive man'.Yes,he was physically appealing,but she didn't trust him at all,and she didn't know how Logan could ever trust him in whatever slim way possible.And why the Professor had invited him to speak she had no idea-he was not a mutant,although she really wasn't sure what he was. 

He seemed to be wearing the same black leather pants and matching biker boots she had seen him in when he showed up to lecture;he'd changed his shirt,though.Now it was black leather too,to match his jacket.It was like he was fresh from a shoot featuring sadomasochistic clothing for the hip young sophisticate. 

Bob grimaced,and she resented the look in his unrealistically blue eyes,like she was a child who wasn't quite grasping a simple concept."It is in a way,Jean,but I realize you don't see it like that." 

"No,I don't,"she agreed,tossing the empty dustpan on her desk.She didn't want to use her powers now,fearing they'd spiral out of control again.She would have loved to have read his mind,but that was the source of the psychic pressure,wasn't it?He was unreadable,a psychic energy source so powerful he claimed he would cause instantaneous brain hemorrhages in any telepath who tried to make contact with his mind,and certainly the Professor was in pain whenever Bob was around.It wasn't always a ball for her either. 

(And Logan claimed Bob had brought him back from the dead...) 

"Why the hell are you here?"She snapped,wanting him to be gone as quickly as possible. 

For some reason,the look he gave her was almost sympathetic,and that just infuriated her even more."I'm not your enemy,Jean." 

"No,you're just an asshole." 

"Fair enough." 

"Bob,"the Professor said,and they both looked to see him just outside the classroom doorway, trying hard to pretend he wasn't wincing from the pain of Bob's proximity."I thought I felt you show up." 

"Hey Chuck.Sorry to just drop in unannounced,but there's a bit of an emergency." 

The Professor raised a single eyebrow,pain still creasing his face."What kind of emergency?" 

"Well,you might want to assemble the troops,"Bob admitted,brushing back his golden brown hair with his fingers."It's quite possible the world's gonna end in a few hours,and I thought you guys want to give me a hand in stopping it." 

She stared at him in open disbelief."You're making that up,"she accused. 

But the rather apologetic look he gave her almost convinced her he wasn't. 

** 

    "You're making this up,"Scott said,as soon as Bob finished telling his unique story. 


	8. Part 8

"Give me credit,mate,"he said,crossing his arms over his chest as he sat down on the far corner of the Professor's desk."I could make up a better story than that.And I think there'd be some sex in it,just to hold the audience's attention." 

"And this Volta character is going to crash the dimensions together how?"Scott continued,as doubtful as she was. 

"Would it help if I drew a diagram?" 

"I thought demons were already here,"Marie asked,sitting forward on the armchair tucked into the near corner.Jean hadn't wanted her in on this,but of course as soon as she saw Bob,she started following him around like a lovesick puppy,and Bob did nothing to discourage her.First Logan,now Bob-Marie was already developing a terrible habit of being attracted to dubious, dangerous men. 

"They are,but the demons I'm talking about are usually kept from crossing over to this dimension by natural polarity. Now we're talking about seven billion marrow suckers being introduced to the human world in a couple of minutes. Trust me,not good." 

"Marrow suckers?"Marie repeated,her eyes widening in shock. 

"Could this degradation you're talking about cause disturbances in the weather?"Storm,who was sitting to her right on the sofa,asked.Jean was sandwiched between her and Scott,on her left.As they came in,Scott had leaned over and whispered "I'm sorry," and as much as she appreciated that,Bob's inexplicable scrutiny of them bothered her.Why the hell had he been looking at them like it was a damn shame? 

Bob nodded."Yes,'Butterfly effect',it very well could." 

"There's been a disturbance in global weather patterns lately,but I couldn't determine why,"she admitted,almost sounding embarrassed."This might explain it." 

"Oh,come on,"Scott exclaimed."You can't believe this crap about demon doorways and whatever the hell he's going on about." 

"We really don't have time for your contrarian control freak nature,Scott,"Bob interjected,with a strange sort of backhanded kindness. 

Scott's head snapped towards him,and she could tell by the way the muscles tensed in his neck he was about to get really angry at Bob.God knew someone should."What the hell did you just say?" 

But Bob wouldn't even get into it."Logan and Helga are waiting for us,and we're running out of time.If we're going to do this,we have to leave now." 

"Logan and Helga?"Jean repeated."Where are they?" 

"On Dis.They went to investigate what was going on,since it wasn't initially clear,and now they're waiting for me to show up." 

She was appalled on several levels:that Bob had left Logan to do his dangerous dirty work;that Logan was left at the ground zero of whatever the hell this was;and that Logan had been left alone with the hypersexed,amoral Helga."You just left him-them-there?"She asked,not bothering to hide her scorn. 

"They went because I couldn't,"Bob explained,as if that was the most obvious thing in the world."Volta knows me,and didn't want me to crash his party,so he has psionic detectors all over the island,and surely a contingency plan for when I show up.So I want to take them out first,hit them so hard it bowls them over." 

"How?"The Professor asked.He had parked his chair behind his desk,in spite of the proximity of Bob,and the pain showed on his face;he was so pale she thought he might pass out.But he not only believed Bob,he seemed to trust him, and she was loath to contradict the Professor,especially with no evidence to support her. 

"Well,Chuck,tell me-does that Cerebro doohickey span the globe,and can you use it to enhance your powers over a long distance?" 

The Professor didn't answer immediately.He simply studied Bob's face,ice blue eyes narrowing to slits as he tried to will away the pain,and asked,"Do you have a plan?" 

Bob tilted his head to the side,a sort of shrug."Yeah,but it's ad hoc,and subject to change depending on what we actually end up facing on the ground.I'm going to have to ask you to trust me,which I know is presumptuous since you barely know me,but you must believe I don't want to see this world overrun with Pain demons and Legion." 

"Why should we?"Scott asked,the irritation clear in his voice. 

"Because I do,"the Professor said,and that seemed to squelch all desire for an argument from all of them. 

And as outrageous and impossible as Bob's plan sounded,Jean tried to tell herself  they were,at the very least,saving Logan from Helga. 

** 

    Bob knew it would be taken absolutely the wrong way if he laughed,so he did his best not to,although it was very difficult. 

It wasn't that Jean's misdirected rage was at all funny,because it wasn't;it was just he sometimes had the urge to laugh when things seemed really sad or hopeless.And while she was not hopeless,she was deeply unhappy,and didn't seem to want to acknowledge that.Which was her choice,but it seemed like needless pain. 

Ah,Humans.Sometimes he just didn't understand their need to make things more difficult for themselves. 

Speaking of which,it took him a while to convince Scott to let him fly their super swoopy jet,but there was no way Scott could pilot them through dimensional shockwaves-he didn't even know what they looked like. 

They didn't want Rogue to come along,of course,but he insisted,and so did she.As young as she was,if he was right,she might end up being crucial to throwing the odds back towards their side.It was kind of handy,being able to absorb people's abilities and use them for yourself. 

Sadly,Scott insisted on sitting in the co-pilot's seat,watching him like a hawk and ready to take over the instant he fucked anything up,while Rogue and Jean sat in the back.Storm was going in an alternate way,ahead of them,because she was going to be part of the surprise welcoming committee.He hoped she took teleportation half as well as Logan had. 

They had been in the air for ten minutes when Bob asked,"Why didn't you ever put a radio in this thing?" 

"We have communicators,"Scott replied,gesturing to his headset microphone. 

"No,I mean a radio radio,"he explained."These long journeys could use some tunes to help kill the time." 

"Yeah,that would be cool,"Rogue agreed. 

Scott looked back at her and scowled,a tacit "Don't encourage him". 

"Considering we're moving at super-sonic speeds,we'd never really be able to pick up any signals for long,"Jean said, trying for diplomacy.Belatedly,she realized she may have been needlessly harsh towards him because she was upset. 

"You can try and compensate for that,or just put in a CD player,"he suggested,trying not to laugh at the evil frown Scott was giving him out of the corner of his eye.Now that was actually funny. 

He tried to concentrate on flying the jet,but honestly he hardly needed to.It was so high tech,the instrument panel flat and almost all digital,like something on the Starship Enterprise,he could have been asleep and the thing could have flown itself.A good thing too,since he hardly knew what he was doing.He mentioned that once they had taken off,but only Rogue thought it was funny. Scott looked like he was about to have a cow in the midst of an aneurysm. 

Some people just had no sense of humor. 

Bored,he started singing under his breath."I hear a rumbling.I hear transmission grind.I bear witness.I have the clutch now.Three times dark on the turnpike,from the Motor City to the city of Dis.They trace his travel by his credit card.No sleep, smokes, and he is nauseous-" 

"What's that?"Rogue asked.She was really nervous about flying,but was trying valiantly to pretend she wasn't. 

"An obscure old song you could have never heard of,"he admitted."Do you have a suggestion?" 

"Huh?" 

"What kind of music are you into?Sensitive singer-songwriters?Alternative?Hip hop?You're not going to make me sing Eminem,are you?"He asked,glancing over his shoulder and giving her a roguish (Ha!Irony!) grin. 

She smiled back,his attempt at distraction at least partially working."No.I didn't think rap could be sung,though." 

"Oh sure,if you don't mind being a little cheesy about it,"Bob replied,and then,to break the tension (most of which seemed to be coming from Scott),demonstrated,in his loudest lounge lizard type of voice:"I like big butts and I cannot lie,you other brothers can't deny-" 

Rogue almost screamed with laughter,while Jean shook her head and looked away,trying to hide the fact that she was laughing in spite of herself.Scott just looked at him,slack jawed and appalled.Well,it wasn't Eminem,it was Sir-Mix-A- Lot,but he was better than Eminem any day of the week.Of course,Public Enemy was better than all of them,but they didn't exist anymore,and Rogue probably didn't know who those old fogies were. 

"I roll with the times,"Bob said,continuing to grin at his own joke.Bad form,yes,but sometimes you had to make these jokes for yourself. 

He saw Scott shaking his head out of the corner of his eye."I see why Logan hangs around with you,"he muttered to himself,still seemingly horrified.How 'straight' was this guy?He seemed so uptight he didn't know how his spine didn't snap from excess rigidity.He was all for self-control,especially when you shot death rays from your eyeballs,but come on. 

That made Bob smirk to himself as he looked out the windscreen,the layer of clouds scudding beneath them like a carpet of spun cotton,growing dark as they outraced the sun around the world.This was a neat little plane,but it was just way too tense in here.Only Rogue actually liked him,and the fact that she had a minor crush on him seemed to help a lot,and that was weird in itself since she was just old enough to be one of his great great great great great granddaughters.He could have pushed them all,but that seemed like cheating,and besides,he should save all his strength:he could be throwing down with some demon god in a less than an hour. 

He tried to think of the last current pop song he heard that Rogue might know if not actually like,and started singing, "High, higher than the sun,you shoot me from a gun-" 

Ah,he got it right:she joined in."-I need you to elevate me here-" 

If Scott and Jean were good being morose,that was their choice.But Bob was determined to be as happy as long as he possibly could be,before the truckload of shit hit the fan. 

    10 

    It wasn't like they could sleep after that,no matter how tired they were,and Logan was in no mood to fool around right now (Helga always was,it seemed),so they got dressed and decided to head out towards the caves,since that was most likely the center of all this shit. 

Of course,not wanting to get attention before they absolutely had to,they couldn't pass through the lobby.Which meant there was only one way down. 

Standing out on the terrace in the pale moonlight,Helga looked down at the beach far below,and shook her head. "Nope,can't make that without busting a leg." 

Before he could suggest an alternative,she suddenly leaped up into his arms,and he caught her easily."Have to carry me,"she said,smiling brightly,tail wrapping itself around his waist. 

He rolled his eyes,but figured what the hell:it was probably the best way to get her down. 

She wrapped her arms firmly around his neck,and he held her tightly with one arm as he leapt over the edge of the balcony. 

He landed on his feet like before,although a bit more awkwardly with the extra weight.Still,he didn't fall on his ass,so he accepted it as victory.Helga immediately slid out of his arms,letting her death grip go,and stood on her own on the beach."It must be fun to be unbreakable,"she said,giving him a sly smile. 

He knew she was partially teasing,but he simply shrugged."It has its moments." 

Logan had to lead the way into the jungle and towards the cliffs,as he knew where they were.He hadn't thought of the way as rugged going before,not even in his bare feet,but Helga complained about it a bit."I'm an urban girl,"she hissed, shoving aside a tree branch violently and disturbing a flying fox."I don't really see why people don't pave all this." 

"I kind of like it,"he admitted.Strangely,he did;he liked anywhere where it looked like people hadn't been. 

"You would,"she replied.He didn't know if that was a compliment,or if she meant that as an obscure sort of insult. 

The moon was bright on this temperate,slightly muggy night,but he smelled an abrupt,strange change in the air.The wind suddenly picked up-it was colder too,had a bit of a raw edge to it-and he had a sense a very violent storm was coming in,but that made no sense.Storms didn't come in without warning...unless- 

"He didn't,"he exclaimed in angry disbelief,knowing he most likely had. 

"Who what?"Helga asked."Bob?" 

But he didn't say anything until they reached a small clearing,where the overlapping fronds and twisting lianas didn't render the sky a latticework over their heads,and looking around,he saw a bank of roiling black clouds scudding over the moon,all but blocking the light. 

"What the fuck is that?"Helga exclaimed,the moment he saw it too:there was something hanging in the sky. 

No,not something-someone.Someone with long white hair spreading out behind her like a fan,a cape billowing like a flag in the now gusting wind,arms held out as if welcoming the violent tumult. 

"Oh shit,"Logan cursed.Now he knew who Bob was bringing in as back up. 

"Wait-isn't that that X chick that was in a coma?"She asked,as Logan tried to look through the screen of trees towards the far off shore.Even though a scrim of clouds now covered the moon,his eyesight was acute enough that he could see the ocean was foaming with whitecaps,roiling like water in a hot tea kettle:something big was coming.Not just a paltry electrical storm-a monsoon.A hurricane. 

A tidal wave. 

Bob was not only going to shut the portals,he was going to drown the world.Or at least Dis,which was almost the same thing. 

"Since when she can hover?"Helga continued,now shouting since the wind was starting to howl like a pack of wolves, bringing in a strong scent of salt and ozone off the turbulent ocean. 

He was about to shout back that he had no fucking idea,but he noticed what looked like a small funnel of air just beneath her feet,kicking up a whirlwind of sand and fallen leaves.It was like a small,stationary tornado. 

"I thought she said she couldn't control it like that,"he muttered bitterly,grabbing Helga's arm and pulling her back into the jungle,heading off towards the caves.They had to move fast now;back up was on the way. 

Coming in on the crest of a tidal way. 

** 

    "-you're skin and bones,turning into something beautiful,"Bob sang,with Rogue and Jean backing him up as he dipped the plane beneath the cloud layer."Tonight,for you I bleed myself dry." 

The plane was now skimming the ocean,one sixty feet above but it still looked very close,and Scott,who seemed to be sulking about the singing (okay,so it didn't seem very professional,but it was good to loosen up before a fight) interrupted to tap a sensor screen showing what was behind them. 

"We're late,"he said,quickly scanning the monitors to see if he could find something else that had gone wrong. 

"No we're not,"Bob replied casually,seeing the little isle on the horizon like a black battlement,the last castle standing in a devastating war."I wanted it on our tail.Three pronged attack:we hit separate parts all at once.And he thinks only Chaos demons can cause chaos.Hah!" 

"You wanted a tsunami on our tail?"Scott asked incredulously."How close on our tail?" 

"Images in monitor are closer than they appear,"he replied,smirking at his own joke."I told Storm to try and give us a seven minute head start.She could only guarantee a two minute margin of error either way.Apparently once they get that big they're harder to control.And technically,tsunamis are caused by earthquakes.This is a tidal wave." 

"How many people are on this island?"Scott continued,looking to punch last minute holes in his slapdash plan. 

"None-just Logan.It's a demon island,and I have a feeling the good demons have pretty much skedaddled.But don't worry:I can't think of a demon that melts when hit by water." 

"Three pronged?"Jean interjected."Us,the storm-that's two." 

"Logan's the third part,"Rogue said. 

Bob shook his head."He should be working in concert with us,so no,he's not.The third part is the Chuck and Amaranth show." 

"What is the Professor doing?"Jean asked. 

"Amaranth?"Scott wondered."The so called witch?" 

"Not so called,"Bob replied curtly."And she's my  granddaughter,so don't say anything more negative than that,kiddo." 

Scott grimaced,chagrined,and muttered,"I'm sorry,I didn't know.No disrespect intended." 

"You really are old?"Rogue asked,sounding genuinely shocked. 

Bob decided to answer Jean's question first,since they were surely within the detecting perimeter of the Scanners by now."Amaranth is going to send the Scanners back home,and help Chuck create mass confusion among the security force.Nothing like a little telepathic suggestion to make everyone go into a tizzy." 

But the Scanners would be around long enough to send out an alarm before disappearing entirely-which was intentional.He wanted Volta to panic;panicky people made big ass mistakes. 

Bob made sure that everything was nominal before briefly closing his eyes and reaching out to Helga and Logan. Show time was just about to start. 

And he seriously hoped he could land this thing better than Scott,or he'd never live it down. 

** 

    The branches were whipping around so violently now that the trees themselves were becoming painful (not quite lethal) weapons.The wind was at their backs,though,so they only had to fight their way through the jungle,which seemed to have been brought to vicious life by the whirlwind. 

Helga kept a hold of him with her tail,and he didn't really know why;things weren't really that bad.They were within view of the cliffs through the churning trees when suddenly it was like the world blinked- 

-and,in a suddenly calm jungle,Bob was standing before them,dressed for once,although he looked like a leather boy. "Okay,we're just about here.Wait for us before you move in." 

"Why didn't you tell me you were bringing Xavier's people into this?"Logan demanded,more ticked that he'd leave him out of the loop than anything else. 

"Because I figured it would piss you off,"Bob admitted."Also,it was a last minute decision." 

Logan snorted in disbelief,not buying that for a second. 

"How can you ask us to wait?"Helga argued.Her tail was still wrapped around his waist;he could still feel it,even in this mindscape."We need to start kicking some ass here." 

"Not without a little supernatural help.Volta's obviously using black magic here,and you need a counter to protect you. She here's,but wait for her.Oh,and some others came with Amaranth;please don't kill them if you don't have to." 

"Who?"Logan asked,but then there was that feeling of the world shutting its eyes again,and suddenly Logan and Helga were back standing alone in the jungle,being battered by near gale force winds. 

"I swear I'm gonna kill your boyfriend,"he snapped,as Helga unwound her tail from around his waist. 

"Get in line,"she shouted back. 

He heard the crack of a limb snapping,and suddenly the wind propelled the human sized branch right towards them. Helga jumped back,but Logan,on reflex,simply popped the claws of his right hand and sliced through it in mid air,before it could smash him in the face.The two log sized pieces were impelled off in different directions by the violent winds. 

Helga just stared at him."You can always duck,you know!"She shouted. 

"And you could have always told me that it wasn't sex but contact,"he shouted back,having finally figured it out.She needed to have physical contact with him when Bob got in contact with her,so he could be 'pulled in' or whatever,which is why she had been holding onto him.The monsoon gale around them had nothing to do with it. 

"Does it matter?"She replied. 

In spite of the constant roar of the wind,he thought he heard the jet pass by them,although the sky was so black with clouds there was no way to see it.Warm rain was starting to pelt down hard as hail,feeling like needles as it hit them,  
and then he sensed something.It smelled a little like Bob,crossed with a gum tree and parchment paper,and he turned to see a young Goth sort of woman with electric blue hair standing maybe ten feet away,under a seemingly undulating banana tree.She was wearing a see through black mesh shirt with nothing but a black sports bra on underneath,and blue leather pants that matched both her hair and her extremely blue eyes.There was something about her face,no matter how delicate it was,that suggested Bob.But for some reason,she had some sort of spider web type thing tattooed on her left cheek,and Logan couldn't tell if she was wearing blue lipstick,or if her lips really were that color. 

"Amaranth?"He asked.Just her look,her smell,suggested a connection to Bob. 

She exclaimed something in...Latin?..and suddenly threw out her hands towards them.A small ball of light shot from her palms,but before it could hit them,it seemingly disappeared,although Logan could swear he felt a tingle of energy all over his skin."Since I don't know what kind of magic we're dealing with,don't expect my protection spell to last long or cover everything,"Amaranth shouted,betraying an Australian accent even thicker than Bob's."I'll do what I can when I can,but right now I've got to stay out here and work on taking down the barrier he put up to keep the vortices from collapsing.Just take the loony bin with ya,and good luck!" 

"The looney bin?"He shouted,sure he heard that wrong,but then the wind brought a familiar scent of vampires,and he turned to see the odd eyed Weird Sisters standing about fifteen feet away,their long black coats blowing around them like capes in the wind. 

"Hello-"said the one of the right. 

"-Logan,"said the one on the left. 

Then they both smiled,stereo evil grins,both seemingly oblivious to the maelstrom around them. 

Oh,she had to be fucking kidding! 

    11 

    Somehow they made it to the caves ahead of the water,but Logan really wasn't sure how.Part of him wondered if Dis was going to be completely submerged,never to see daylight again.He didn't think Storm had that kind of power,but between her,Amaranth,and Bob,it could probably happen. 

The outside of the cliffs were being lashed with water,inland property suddenly turned waterfront,but even through the cacophany of the storm,Logan could hear that high pitched hum:in fact,it was louder now,and wavering so much he was sure there was more than a single source making that noise,audibly confirming what they had already guessed. 

Some of those pile of rock looking demons-M'griens,supposedly-were guarding the outside,blending easily into the scenery,but Logan already knew they weren't that tough:they did have necks that could be cut...sort of. 

It didn't matter too much,though-they were no collective match for him and Helga and the bizarro Weird Sisters.In fact, watching the Weirds in action was an eye opener.They didn't work so much as a tag team than as a single organism that could split itself in two-one would strike in the front as the other struck at the back,not one after the other but at the exact same time,giving the opponent sandwiched between them no chance at all.He was impressed;as enemies, they'd be absolutely devastating.No wonder Bob liked to keep them around. 

He wondered why they would help since they were essentially evil,but Helga helpfully pointed out the death of humanity would wipe out the vampire's raison d'etre-any vampire would oppose this,because it would wipe out their food supply. Somehow that was less than comforting,but who said all motives had to be noble?He wasn't completely sure what his motives were here,so the Sisters had one up on him there. 

Once they wiped out the M'griens the wind was at almost hurricane force,the rain hitting hard enough to feel like stones,and once they reached the mouth of the suspicious cave he felt...something.It was hard to describe,but it was like walking through a forcefield that was charged but not quite up to lethal levels. 

He stopped as soon as he was beyond the mouth of the cave,not completely sure he could believe his eyes. 

It looked like the entire interior of the cliff had somehow been hollowed out;golden light from an unclear source illuminated what seemed to be a cathedral of stone,grey rock like marble that arched high over their heads,the sides of the cave as far out of reach as the ocean outside. 

There looked to be 'platforms' carved in the rock walls,leading about thirty feet up like irregularly staggered stairs,and the air in the center of the cavern seemed to shimmer like it would in the desert at the hottest time of the day,but he knew heat had nothing to do with it.For one thing he was,for the moment,kind of cold.He felt like a drowned rat,and certainly Helga and the Sisters looked it,so he must have looked that way too (but no one could look better in a wet t-shirt than Helga,no matter how she went on about his 'ta tas').He didn't understand how the water wasn't ankle deep in here,until he realized the forcefield or whatever they had passed through to get inside had probably kept it out.They might have been kept out if it wasn't for Amaranth's spell. 

From the volume of noise,the shimmer had to be vortices-or some of them-and he wondered if the spell Amaranth had mentioned that was protecting them was also keeping them from being adequately seen.He certainly felt something weird in here,something that was making the hairs on his arm stand on end. 

Demons-most of them Ressiks by the look of it-were running around,the effort coordinated but clearly panicked,and he smelled Volta and his Myriast companion long before he saw Volta on one of the high platforms,thirty feet up on the far side of the cavern,the shimmering veil of hidden vortices between him and them. 

Volta looked stunned to see them,and looked to be holding something ropy and bluish grey in one of his glass like hands -intestines?He shouted something in a language that sounded like gibberish (Demon-ese,or whatever) and held out his free hand towards them.Like with Amaranth,there was a ball of light that hit them to fast to react to,but this time there wasn't even a feeling of energy;absolutely nothing happened.He seemed even more stunned than before,and Logan guessed that Amaranth's protection spell was still holding. 

"I don't have time for you!"He shouted,his voice echoing strangely in the hollowed out cliffside.He gestured to his Ressik staff,now noticing the interlopers for the first time,and ordered,"Take them apart!Feed them to the vortices!" 

Over a dozen Ressiks swarmed them like angry bees,while ones stuck on rock platforms simply opened fire,sniping at them from their higher positions,but Logan didn't much care.He moved into position before Helga,making himself a more tempting (and impossible) target,and didn't even spare the Sisters a second thought,since they were vampires and bullets,at best,could only sting like a bastard. 

The Ressiks tried to quadruple team him,but that was a joke:he kicked one away as another landed a solid,rock hard punch that spun him around,so he popped his claws and sliced the heads off all three of them in a single slash as he turned on his heels.Sometimes it was too damn easy. 

Of course,someone tackled him from behind and took him down,smashing his head repeatedly into the stone floor, splitting the skin of his forehead and causing blood to cascade down his face until the gash healed (only,ironically, to be opened again) ,the Ressik's knee in the small of his back,pinning him down.But Logan threw back a sharp elbow,hitting the Ressik's elbow and bending it the opposite way. 

It made a noise like a firecracker as the bone snapped,and he screamed in pain,the noise so obviously agonized that Logan actually felt a bit sorry for him,although not enough to keep from killing the son of a bitch.He bucked him off his back and jumped up to his feet,the thrice opened gash now healing for good,and gave the Ressik a bone shattering kick that caved in his skull.If that didn't kill him, he still didn't think he was going to get up in a hurry. 

A bullet slammed through his shoulder,tearing muscle and narrowly missing bone as it passed straight through,and he turned,snarling,just in time for Helga to slam into him and send him sprawling. 

"Hel,you okay?"He asked,and was surprised when she punched him in the jaw. 

"Ah,fuck!"She shouted,face contorting in pain as she grabbed her hand. 

"What the hell's wrong with you?!"He snapped,tossing her off of him and rolling up to his feet. 

"Mind-"One of the Sisters said,snapping the neck of one Ressik. 

"-control,"said the second one,as she grabbed the gun of a second Ressik,shoved it in his mouth,and pulled the trigger, painting the far wall with the black mess of his brain. 

He didn't have to ask who or why:he could smell the Myriast,and then he saw her-it. 

To call it humanoid was to imply humans had legs with knees that bent the wrong way,and massively bad cases of black death derived eczema,as well as faces and skulls shaped like footballs stood on end.Her eyes were like small black marbles shoved deep in her sharp yet strangely featureless face,her skin hanging like loose,overlapping grey white scales that might shed any second.Her long arms,which seemed to bend the right way,ended in long,four fingered hands that looked more like claws,and as she snarled at him he realized about half her face was a loosely hinged jaw. 

"Think you can get past me,human?"She hissed,her voice sounding gravelly and definitely inhuman. 

"Sure I can,ugly,"he said,wondering briefly why he could see the real Myriast,if indeed he was.Oh,right,she didn't like his mind very much. 

He slashed out with his claws,but somehow he missed her completely,and as she spun away from him,she gave him a sharp elbow to the back of the head that sent him stumbling.Before he could completely recover,one of those backwards bending legs kicked him in the back of the knee and sent him crashing to the stone."Idiot,"she hissed, kicking him in the side of the head. 

From this vantage point,he could see the Sisters were taking care of the mind controlled Helga,and he hoped they knew not to kill her. 

It was awful to think this ugly mother was right,but she was:he was an idiot.She-it-was telepathic,and he wasn't going to catch her short unless she completely fucked up,or he stopped thinking about it.Well,Bob seemed to think he could do it,so now it was time to find out if he really could fight a telepath. 

She tried to kick him again;a mistake.He tried to clear his mind,focus on nothing but his rage,and let reflex take over. 

He caught her foot before it connected,and,still prone on the ground,shot out his own foot and took her lone remaining leg out from beneath her with a sweeping kick.He felt like he was almost watching from outside his own body as she hit the stone floor with a startled yelp and he rolled up to his own feet,spinning into a back heel kick that caught her just above the point of her blade sharp jaw. 

"What the fuck are you doing?"She snapped,rolling away and up to her own feet,putting distance between them."What the fuck are you supposed to be?" 


	9. Part 9

He heard her,but just let it pass through his mind like a language he didn't speak.He lashed out,missing the first time as she ducked aside but tearing open a large gash across her torso on the second slash,pulling away big sections of skin as thin as parchment,as dry as snakeskin.She shrieked,and as she lashed back wildly he felt something like a savage, ice pick like pain in his own brains,and thoughts of being cutting open again-back in the tank and paralyzed as the scalpels sliced his flesh and the whine of bone saws filled his ears-flooded his mind. 

Oh,the bitch made a big mistake there:it only made him more furious,even as her claws slashed open his chest and bloodied his face.He stabbed out with both claws,straight through her chest and the base of her neck.It seemed like her eyes bugged out,but it was hard to tell,even as she plunged one of her claws deep into his stomach and ripped up, attempting to eviscerate him. 

But as much as it hurt,her claws were not as sharp as his,and her gutting plan was stymied when her claws caught on his adamantium short ribs."Should have never fucked with me,"he snarled,as he ripped his claws through her in opposite directions.One split open her chest;the other took her head almost clean off. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?"He heard an irate Helga snap at the Sisters,as what was left of the Myriast hit the floor. 

He stumbled and hit one of the side walls,arms wrapped around the hole in his stomach.It was healing up,but it hurt like a motherfucker,and he really didn't want anything falling out until the wound closed.He was relatively sure he could even survive the loss of an organ (not the brain-but he wasn't sure about the heart:you'd think not, but who knew?),but he didn't want to find out for certain. 

Volta's scream echoed through the cavern,and only in retrospect did he realize it was a name.Niobe?If it was Naomi, the irony was ugly. 

He may have said something else,an order,because suddenly a huge fusillade of bullets tore up the rock around him, spitting stone chips in his face as bullets penetrated his skin but almost invariably bounced off his metal skeleton, which still hurt even if it only did surface damage. 

But suddenly a red beam shot out and hit a sniper heavy stone platform,and it collapsed,sending the shooters tumbling to the floor below.Finally,the rest of the party crashers had arrived. 

"You!"Volta shouted,and Logan didn't even need to look over his shoulder to see it was Bob he was screaming at. 

Scott took out another group of snipers,and Logan suddenly felt Jean's hand on his shoulder."Are you okay?"She then grimaced as she saw his bloody (but mostly healed) face,his torn up,bloody shirt and chest,and several still healing bullet wounds."Oh god-" 

""I'm fine,"he snapped impatiently,then amended,"I'll be fine.Give me a sec." 

"What'cha doin' jefe?"Bob said sarcastically,obviously to Volta."Don't you know I'm loco?" 

It was then Crayax appeared on the cavern floor opposite them.To say he materialized-teleported-was probably the best guess.He seemed to be standing between vortices that could only be seen as a shimmer,and as he raised his arms slowly from his side,something seemed to be happening,but Logan was not immediately sure what. 

At first,it looked like he was simply changing color,the striations of the bristly hairs on his body bleaching to ivory, but suddenly he seemed not only to become completely albino,but start glowing as if filled with his own internal white light. 

"What the fuck..?"Helga asked for all of them. 

"Uh-"One Sister said. 

"-oh."The second one finished. 

"Oh fuck me blind,"Bob exclaimed,sounding more startled than Logan had ever heard him."He's a-"Logan didn't understand what he said.It must have been demon,because it sounded like "vringagin". 

"How the hell-"Helga replied,sounding pretty flustered herself."He's just a Copraphagous demon." 

"That's what we thought he was.And he probably used to be,before he was anointed." 

"Are you gonna clue us in?"Logan snapped,not at all pleased that Bob sounded freaked.If Bob was freaked,how fucked were they? 

"He's-shit,I guess the closest Human term is avatar;he's the doorway for Arakis to use her powers,"Bob said,staring almost slack jawed at the oversized demon,who seemed to be so bright he was painful to look at it.How was he doing that?"And she's coming through.Oh,how could I be so bloody stupid?The fights weren't blood sacrifices- they were only for pain.Pain to feed Arakis."Bob then grabbed Scott,who was moving closer (for a better look?), and yanked him back."Go,go now.Get Storm and get out of here while you still can." 

"What?"Both Logan and Scott exclaimed at the same time.How embarrassing was that? 

"You're humans-mutant or not,you can't do anything against a god." 

"And you can?"Scott asked peevishly.Actually that was a good question. 

"A god?"Rogue repeated,as if not sure if he was joking or not. 

"Would you get the hell out of here already?!"Bob snapped,although Logan could barely hear him over the noise. He thought for a second it was the winds outside,but the pitch was high and thrumming like a high tension wire being slowly made unstable by power surges.The vortices were reacting to whatever Crayax/Arakis/whoever the hell was doing,and not in a way they could consider good.It was so loud and overpowering he almost didn't hear Volta saying something,and when he looked up,it was in time to see energy shoot from his hands-towards him,it looked like,although the glowing ball of yellow light seemed to split in two. 

Logan spun around grabbing Jean to try and protect her with his body (if that was even possible-what the hell was that thing?),but it was too late.He felt the impact like a splash of heat across his back,and there wasn't any pain,not really:there was just a sensation of falling,of being somehow thrown deep inside his own body. 

And then just falling.A fall that never seemed to end,until he couldn't remember how to do anything but fall. 

    12 

    He started coming to slowly,only now aware he had ever lost consciousness."Logan,"he heard distantly.Jean. 

There was something wrong with his ears-she not only sounded far away,but slightly muffled,the howl of the vortices barely audible,just a pinprick of white noise at the threshold of his hearing. 

He felt funny too.There was no pain,but he felt a bit like a live wire,energy coursing through his veins like blood, and he felt strangely...light?Was that the word he wanted? 

He felt Jean touch his face,heard her say his name again,adding,"Can you hear me?" 

He wanted to say yes,but wasn't quite up to that level yet.In fact,he wasn't quite sure how his mouth or his eyes worked.What the hell hit him? 

"Bob,"he heard Helga say,also distant."Hey,old man,come on.No time to be a lazy asshole." 

Was he hit too?Shit. 

He then noticed a more familiar noise,and heard a frustrated Scott say,"Nothing.I can't punch through."Punch through what? 

"I'm goin' for him,"Rogue said. 

"No you are not,"Jean immediately replied. 

"Only-"One Sister said. 

"-Bob-"said the other. 

"-can get-" 

"-through if-" 

"-we're lucky." 

"Yeah,well,it doesn't look like he's up to it right now,"Scott replied impatiently.He then hissed,"Where the hell is Amaranth?" 

"Even-" 

"-a-" 

"-powerful witch-" 

"-is no-" 

"-match for a-" 

"-god.  
"  
"But Bob is?"He replied incredulously."You aren't seriously implying he's a god,are you?" 

"If-" 

"-he-" 

"-was he'd-" 

"-be a-" 

"-complete dick." 

Logan wished he could laugh.Hadn't Bob told him that himself? 

"So is that a yes or a no?"Scott asked.Score one for the one eyed guy. 

Logan noticed a bright blue light seeping through his eyelids,which made him wonder what was going on.He didn't think he'd been out long-although he wasn't completely sure-but it seemed things had gotten even worse in that short span of time.Well,at least their luck was holding to its usual level. 

He managed to remember how to open his eyes,and the air around him was a bizarre sight;veins of dull crimson hung in the air like spiderwebs of light,unreality bleeding into reality,while bright blue white accretion disks were becoming visible around at least a half dozen vortices surrounding the white lit Crayax.He could see the light surrounded Crayax like an oversized shroud,the hairline fractures of dimensional cracks rising high enough to 'protect' Volta,still on his far rock ledge.Scott was never able to hit him,which suggested he had his own protection spell in play.The ground was starting to tremble,but he didn't think that was Storm's doing,or even Amaranth trying to put a physical hole in the side of the cavern. 

Helga looked down at him,and grimaced impatiently."Well,finally.I thought you were gonna sleep through it." 

"Since when would I miss I pointless fight?"He asked,wondering what had become of Jean. 

Helga stared at him strangely,not quite doing a double take but almost."Bob?"She asked doubtfully. 

"Stop fucking around,Helga-this is no time for jokes,"he said,sitting up- 

-and seeing himself across the cavern,partially cradled in Jean's arms. 

What the hell..? 

It was him all right-he knew his clothes and his generally unfortunate hair anywhere-face blood spattered and slack with unconsciousness.Jean knelt behind him,and he was partially propped up on her folded knees,one hand on the side of his face as if keeping his head upright. 

He'd heard of so called 'out of body' experiences,but weren't you supposed to be dead then?He looked down at his hands-yes,he had hands-and noticed he was wearing a gold ring on his right index finger.He didn't wear a ring... but Bob did. 

No fucking way. 

He tried to pop his claws,and just made a muscle in his forearm twitch. 

"What happened to your accent?"Rogue asked.Him? 

"Oh,holy fucking shit,"Helga cursed. 

Logan looked at himself again,and wondered if somehow he and Bob switched places.Well,that was totally fucking nuts.Maybe Volta had done something so he would think they had..?Did that make any more sense? 

"What now?"Scott asked.He was just beyond Jean and...him?Bob?..and since he was now facing Helga it was hard to tell what he had been doing before- 

-but just looking at him caused a litany of  thoughts to flood his mind. 

'-insanitytheprofessortrustshimbutcanwebelievehesnotbeinginfluencedinsomewaybythiscretinIbethesnotevenaustralianiveheardbadcommediansdobetteraccents-' 

Logan shook his head and closed his eyes,trying to banish that,and it seemed to shut it off,at least for the moment. What the hell was that?It sounded like Scott talking,but it clearly wasn't.Telepathy?Was that telepathy? 

But Bob always claimed he wasn't a telepath-the Weird Sisters said he was better. 

Better...no,that wasn't telepathy,because didn't you have to want to read people to do it?Bob had no choice;people were open books to him because he could not shut off their thoughts without intervening in some way.Ah shit. That meant every thought he had around Bob he heard.But hadn't he sort of figured that anyways? 

Bob had to have some way of filtering this,regulating it so he didn't go mad,and since he obviously retained some of his abilities in spite of the body switch or whatever the hell it was,he tried to will it to kick in. 

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes once more.Jean was looking at him now,concerned."Are you all right?" She asked. 

He didn't get a litany from her,but he sensed a sort of power there,not much but enough to know she was a telepath,and if he got much closer to her mind he would hurt her.In Bob terms,"blow out the speakers",and he got an idea of how correct he was.Jean was like a candle flame to this sort of raging inferno he felt not only in his mind but his entire body. 

He felt like he was standing back in his mind-well,this mind-and he figured the filter must have kicked in,because rather than an overwhelming litany where the information came too fast to make sense of it,he got a bigger picture on a short time delay. 

For one thing,Jean did not like Bob;she didn't trust him because she felt he was hiding something-several somethings-and was possibly using Logan in a way she had been unable to determine.Also there was the fact that he seemed to know Helga was sleeping with him too and didn't care,which was morally suspect at best. 

But Bob had harmed no one,as far as she knew,and therefore she didn't outright hate him,just disliked him."I think so,"he replied, trying not to react from what he was picking up from her-he felt like an eavesdropper."How's...he?" 

He didn't think he should call him Logan since he was Logan...he thought.Oh man,this was so confusing. 

Jean looked down at his-Logan's-face,and frowned.The concern coming from her was almost palpable.She hated to see him hurt,and he seemed to get hurt so much."Well,he's breathing,and his injuries have mostly healed,but that's almost always true for him,"she replied,gently cupping his face.It was then he realized she was thinking how many regrets she'd have if he died;she was sure there was a kernel of a good man in there somewhere-no,in fact,she knew it.It came out all wrong sometimes,distorted through a filter of anger and suspicion,but no one who would be willing to die to save someone else was anything less than an exemplary human being.She sometimes wondered,if she wasn't with Scott,what it would be like to kiss him,to make love with him,what it would feel like to be held by arms that strong,what it would be like not to have to control yourself so tightly all the time- 

-she interrupted her own train of thought,mentally scolding herself.She loved Scott,and she was not some slut like Helga,who would casually betray a man she claimed to love by giving in to lustful impulses.She was a human being, not a rutting animal,although calling Helga that was probably disrespectful to most animals- 

Oh wow,how catty was that?He found it hard to keep from smiling:Jean was jealous of Helga.But perhaps most importantly,she had confirmed what he had always suspected:she wanted him almost as badly as he wanted her. 

He glanced at Scott due to a sudden sense of new negativity from him,and he knew then that Scott had seen the way Jean was looking at Logan,and  thought,with a bitter sense of despair,that even if they did live through this he was probably going to lose her someday.Logan actually felt bad for the Boy Scout until he began to think that could really never happen;Jean would never be crazy enough to hook up with a blood crazed Cro-Magnon like Logan- 

"Who the hell are you call-"Logan exclaimed,and then slapped a hand over his mouth before he could admit he'd been listening to his thoughts. 

But Scott gave him a funny look,as did Jean,before Helga hit him hard on the back of the shoulder. 

"Hey,"he cried,turning to face her. 

"Logan,is that you?"She asked.Her concern and fear that they were all so dead it was almost hysterical came through loud and clear. 

He nodded."Yeah.What the hell happened?" 

"You're asking me?" 

"What?"Jean interrupted,thinking Helga had lost her mind and taken Bob with her.Some kind of demon syphilis? "Logan's right here." 

As if on cue,Logan-Bob-stirred in Jean's arms,and Logan got the sense that Bob knew instantly something was very wrong.He felt not only different but cut off...just as Logan felt like he was the boundaries of a river of light even before he opened his eyes.They had traded light for dark,and dark for light.One was physicality,and one was power. 

Bob seemed to jolt awake,startling Jean,and he instantly stared at him.It didn't matter that he could no longer read people;Bob knew right away. 

Logan's green eyes stared back at him in shock,the blood spatters on his formerly torn open cheeks making him look a bit like the feral beast that Scott seemed to insist on believing he was,and Bob said,"Oh shit.Transference spell."Logan thought he heard his voice,but with a decidedly obvious Australian accent.After all,an accent was personal-it wasn't in the vocal cords. 

"Is that what it was?"Logan asked.The cracks in the air seemed to be growing,one opening right beside Scott's head, but it was the fact that he didn't notice it at all that convinced Logan that nobody could see these things except him. No,strike that;it was Bob's eyes seeing this.He just had access to them. 

Jean did a double take."Why are you talking like that?"She asked.She believed,adamantium lined skull or not,Logan may have taken a devastating head injury. 

"You switched accents,"Rogue said,and it may have been funny,but it sounded slightly sad.Rogue was convinced they were all going to die here,and she wished suddenly she hadn't asked to come along,or that Bob hadn't agreed to it. 

Logan got to his feet,feeling strangely off balance inside Bob's body.It was like gravity didn't effect him in the same way,until he realized that that wasn't it at all.Bob didn't have a hundred pound metal skeleton he was lugging around on top of everything else.It wasn't like Logan ever felt that weight-it was normal for him as far as he knew:it would be like asking a person with two eyes if they missed having three when they never did have three to begin with-but now that he had 'three eyes' (so to speak),he knew what he had been missing now.Normal people-if Bob could ever be considered normal-didn't need to exert a lot of strength to simply get up.No wonder he was considered strong;he constantly used muscles other people never had to.That was probably some natural adaptation to the burden of the adamantium in his system,since his body was so adept at adjusting to hardship.(And yet another reason why he was probably selected for the 'procedure',whether he liked it or not...) 

"How do I stop this creep?"He asked,gesturing to the white light afterimage of Crayax in the center of the cavern. Reality was fracturing all around him,hair thin cracks becoming gashes,bleeding diseased light into the world that no one else could see. 

Bob winced and seemed to shake his head,and Logan knew why-the sound he could barely hear was probably a screaming roar to his ultra sensitive ears.But Logan knew he had ways of filtering it out,just like Bob could filter out other's thoughts to a background noise,and Bob must have figured out how to trigger or it happened automatically,because he seemed all right after a couple of seconds.Climbing to his feet seemed to take some effort, though,and he nearly pitched forward,completely off balance,but Jean was there to steady him,still believing he had serious internal injuries that hadn't completely healed yet."Fuck,mate,how do you move so fast?"Bob asked, finally on his feet and steady,at least for the time being. 

"It's normal to me." 

"You're an evolutionary marvel then." 

"Have you both lost your minds?"Scott asked irately. 

"Yes-" 

"-they-" 

"-did.To-" 

"-each other."The Sisters offered helpfully. 

Scott looked between them,wondering why Logan had to hang around with the creepiest people in the entire world. 

"I can't tell you,Logan,"Bob said,looking pained with frustration."It's just something I do.I can't explain the process." 

"Well,what would it be?" 

"Keep her back-once she's completely through the doorway,the dimensions will probably shatter;she has that power." 

"How do I keep her back?I assume physically attacking her is out of the question."Logan now saw the reason no one had tried to leave the cave was that there was no longer any cave entrances;what looked like solid stone had taken their place.But Logan could see the sort of blurriness at the edges that he intuitively knew meant it was a spell,not real stone.No wonder Scott couldn't punch through it.The only hope there was Amaranth and maybe Bob....crap! 

"Do you seriously expect us to believe you two have switched bodies or something?"Scott scoffed,shaking his head, thinking at best they were morons and at worst assholes for making jokes at a time like this.But what else could he expect from Logan and one of his con artist friends? 

Wow,Rogue was right-he did blame him for everything. 

Bob scowled at him,but the ignore him completely and shouted towards the otherwise unseen Volta (but Logan could see him:he was a lurid blackish green smear of energy in this field of crackling light,a native disease to this dimension):"You can have me if you want but let them go!" 

Logan wanted to point out he'd keep his body in here even if there was the slightest chance Volta let them walk,but hell,maybe a trade wasn't such a bad idea.The fuckers that were after him wouldn't recognize him in his new body: he didn't even have the goddamn claws anymore. 

"I don't want you,"Volta said,his voice everywhere and nowhere as it echoed throughout the cavern.His mind seemed currently unavailable to him,like a wall of black static."She does." 

"She?"Jean asked,looking between him and Bob,thoroughly baffled.She might have done a quick scan of his (Bob's) mind, because she seemed to have no problem believing they were who they said they were.She was smart enough to know she couldn't even try to read whoever was inhabiting Bob's body. 

Helga answered her before Bob could."Arakis."She was afraid for Bob,but not herself,or any of them really.She thought he (Logan) could take whatever was dished out.Theoretically Bob could too,but she still worried-and of course she would,because she loved him. 

"The pain god or whatever?"Scott asked,in a manner suggesting this was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.And he felt it was,right up there with the first mention of demons. 

But Bob didn't answer him;he looked completely lost in thought,and Logan knew that he was.After a moment,he turned back to Jean,and said,"Can you use your telekinetic powers to try and contain Arakis?" 

She looked at him in wide eyed curiosity,not sure at all what he was asking.She thought of him as Logan,yet knew he was not.""Contain?How?" 

"Just...imagine a vise,completely enveloping and closing in on Crayax.I don't expect it to hold,but maybe between you and Logan,we can hit the right combination for shoving her back.Ladies,Scott,Hel,you have to help me cause a distraction.I need to get a straight shot at Volta,without him throwing any more voodoo my way." 

Massive,thunderous booms began to echo through the cavern,making the ground tremble,and it wasn't hard to guess Storm was hitting the outside of the cave with lightning bolts,trying to break through.Maybe she was coordinating with Amaranth,and maybe it could work,for all the good it could do (nil). 

Bob stumbled,and then said,"Shit-we've got company,"just as Logan got the sense something was incoming.He took that to mean sometimes his nose was faster at catching a clue than Bob's nebulous sixth sense. 

It was like a bloody scar opened up in the rocky floor of the cavern,and these things started boiling up out of the wound like maggots.They looked a bit like sand colored moray eels,only each was at least six feet long,and at least two feet thick,all surprisingly dense and supple muscle beneath tough,leathery hides,their gaping maws full of pointed teeth like crystals.And there were dozens of them coming through the newly opened fissure in the ground. 

"Fuck,Raddocks!"Bob shouted,adding helpfully,"Try not to let them grab you.Snap their spines to kill them." 

Scott was already shooting at them,and he seemed to stun several,but there were just too many coming out of the ground for that to work for long.It was like they had disturbed some massive nest of gigantic cobras. 

The Sisters got to work,and seemed genuinely amused at the prospect of killing Raddocks,while Helga saw it as a time waster,to keep them from stopping Arakis from coming through,and Logan was sure she was right. 

One made a grab for Logan with its surprisingly flexible lower body,and he simply grabbed it first,hefting the heavy reptilian demon up and snapping its spine over his knee like it was a piece of kindling...and man did it fucking hurt!The pain that ran through his (Bob's) leg was incredible,and as he threw the thing aside,he noticed, out of the corner of his eye,one of them grab Bob from behind and throw him down."How do you work your fucking claws?!"He shouted,as he flailed to get a good shot at them. 

Although he hated to tell him he couldn't explain it,since it would sound bitter,it was true-he was never quite sure how he did it;it was second nature to him now,reflex.It would be like trying to explain how he walked at this point -one foot in front of the other was the best he could do."Clench your fists and hope for the best,"was all Logan could offer,hoping he didn't break his body up too badly before they could switch back (if indeed they ever could). 

He moved to help him,but stopped.This was the point of the attack,distraction.If they didn't stop Arakis,this was all a moot point,wasn't it? 

Jean had kept herself free from attack by keeping a sort of telekinetic barrier around her,but she dropped it the second he approached."Scott,cover our backs,we're taking on Arakis,"he shouted,looking to her for confirmation. She nodded,her lips thinning to a grin,determined line.She really wasn't sure how she was going to do it,but she was going to try anyways,and in that moment he loved her for it.He didn't know what the hell he was going to do either,but he had to do something. 

Him and Jean,the last bulwark of humanity,and neither had the slightest clue what the fuck they were doing.It was sadly amusing,but in a way inspired a sort of suicidal confidence in him.If only he had his claws back,maybe he could cut the demon bitch's throat. 

"Logan,"she said,in a very tentative way,as if still not sold it was really him in Bob's skin.She paused,not sure what to say after that:she couldn't admit she didn't know if she could do it,or for how long,or that she hoped they all saw the other side of daylight again. 

To spare her the continued indecisive agony,he told her,"I know."And he did.She seemed to understand that too, and almost reached out to squeeze his hand,but at the last second realized she couldn't dare touch him. Great- another reason not to get physical with him.He couldn't win for losing. 

He heard a familiar noise,though,the sound of his claws springing free,and figured Bob had finally gotten angry or hurt enough to trigger it automatically (that had happened before) or finally did trigger the mechanism himself. 

"Ouch!"He cried,as he slashed a Raddock trying to crush him clean in half with a single sweep of his claw. "Those hurt,damn it!" 

"You get used to it,"he told him.That was true enough. 

Oddly enough,the Sisters (with more conscious help from Helga) were sort of protecting Rogue,but only because they were trying to avoid her.They looked at the rest of them like potential snacks,but seemed to know that Rogue would be the worst choice possible when it came to human prey.But one of the Raddocks must have grabbed her-or she grabbed one,he really didn't know-all he knew was she was making these loud sort of hissing noises that freaked the Raddocks out (how could human vocal cords even make that noise?),then began picking them up and tearing them in half like loaves of fresh bread,splattering their pale blue guts everywhere.Her eyes were all pupil (well,they were demons who spent most of their time underground-they didn't have the strongest eyesight in the world),and the only thoughts he was picking up from her were of a static-y "crush kill destroy" variety.He hoped she remembered to stop at just the Raddocks. 

He stopped Jean before she walked into a dimensional rift,a diagonal gash bleeding black light that she couldn't see, and nodded at her to start as he closed his eyes,and concentrated on all the energy inside of him. 

The funny thing was,even with his eyes closed he got a sense of blue light,and realized it was internal.It was some sort of reflection or visual equivalent of all the power he sensed inside him,a torrent of energy that seemed to swirl and eddy inside of him.A river of devastating power that he knew might be enough to shut this whole thing down, if only he knew how to use it. 

He decided he couldn't force it.If this was unconscious for Bob by now it was reflex,and he should just let reflex take over.He felt the energy building in the hollow of his chest,accumulating,building strength,and as he opened his eyes again,he seemed to see everything through a filter of blue.He felt like a bomb on the verge of detonation,and wondered if Bob felt like this all the time.How could he? 

Something changed-the sound at the edge of his hearing,the feeling in the room,maybe all of it-but Jean was having some effect against the emerging Arakis.When he opened his eyes,he saw the white glow around Crayax had faded somewhat,but then the most bizarre thing occurred:his right leg seemed to literally explode,the flesh,blood,and bone spraying all over the cavern like shrapnel,some of the fragments being sucked up into various vortices.But it was neither something he or Jean did:In the place of where his leg had been was something that looked as large and thick as a tree trunk,the skin like warty red leather,veins as big as ropes pulsing as if alive,and the three toed clawed foot on the floor of the cave looked just a tad smaller than a Yugo.He thought it was seeing a foot and a leg,but realized it was probably just her foot and one ankle. 

Arakis was breaking through her doorway.It didn't matter that Crayax was smaller than her by a country mile,she was somehow coming through him anyways.Did Crayax know that when he signed up for this?Maybe Arakis promised to bring him back,like she had probably brought back Volta. 

Logan told himself he could do this,and hoped Bob's power worked even while he was inhabiting his body. 

His gut instinct was to try and knit the gashes together,including the rip in the dimensional fabric that Arakis was causing as she tried to come forward,so he decided to do just that. 

He imagined the rips closing,sealing shut,and the one right in front him,the gash oozing black light,healed shut as he felt the power flowing from him,a straight shot even more potent than electricity.He was more powerful than electricity,than lightning,then the goddamn sun as far as he was concerned.He never felt this light before,this alive.  
As he focused his energy on Crayax,he thought he heard a distant scream,and was peripherally aware that Volta was chanting something again. 

He didn't know how to stop Volta right now,he had to focus on Arakis,but as luck would have it part of the ceiling chose that moment to collapse. 

A lightning bolt had finally punched through,and while rock and rain both poured down,it all seemed to miss Crayax,who was protected by whatever black magic was birthing the doorway.Still,the intrusion seemed to shut Volta up,at least for the moment,and since the Raddock problem seemed to be taken care of (between Raddock Rogue,Helga,and the Sisters,they never really had much of a chance),Scott shot off an optic beam at the new sunroof,widening it and sending another quarter ton of rock crashing down.Again,it missed Crayax,but from the way Volta cursed,it barely missed him. 

He heard a scuffle behind him-Helga and the Sisters had to subdue Rogue,who was still too far gone in her Raddock persona to be reasoned with-but he ignored it,focusing like a laser on Crayax and Arakis.Crayax's chest cavity seemed to ripple,expanding slowly like a balloon,a grotesque sight that caused Jean to make a noise of disgust,but it didn't matter.None of it mattered.All he cared about was bringing together the white light gash in the fabric of the universe. 


	10. Part 10

He was peripherally aware that it was no longer rain pelting down towards Crayax but snow,a small blizzard swirling around him,trying to envelope him and bury him alive.Arakis didn't like the cold.It wasn't enough to keep her out of the dimension,but it would surely be an annoyance,just one more problem she didn't need. 

Also,a burst of light had hit Volta,not lightning but magic,as the sickly blackish-green color of his...aura?..had paled,and was continuing to pale.Without Arakis to help him out,Volta was no match for Amaranth. 

Scott randomly sniped at him,trying to collapse the platform he was on.He still had enough magic to protect himself-at least for now-but Logan wondered if Scott was actually trying to hit him or simply providing both distraction and a cover for Bob, as Logan could now see the rather bizarre sight of his own body climbing up the wall of the cave,using his claws like climbing axes,right underneath Volta's platform so he could not see him coming. 

The light was beginning to fade,shrink,and there was a hellish screech that could have shattered glass as Arakis reacted and poured on the strength,trying to force the door (as it were). 

He felt a strange sort of pain as he instinctively 'fought back',but it was very odd-a metaphysical pain?-and not enough to keep him from stepping forward,the smaller rips in the dimension healing shut before him as he tried to mentally shove Arakis back.There was a dull ache in the back of his mind,but it was negligible,almost nothing;a suggestion of pain more than the real thing.He was seeing the world through a curious blue tint now,but he figured that just came with using all this power-or blood vessels had burst in Bob's eyes.He had that weird blue blood,after all. 

In the shadows of his drastically narrowed perceptions,he saw Amaranth break through Volta's protection spell,and Scott fire, this time to some avail-his shot clipped Volta on the arm and spun him around,and he nearly fell off the ledge.Everybody heard the curse that resulted from that. 

And by the time Volta had regained his footing and stood back up,Bob was on the ledge with him.But Bob must have learned how to negotiate things even with Logan's heavy body,because he moved very fast.Volta had just turned around when Bob jabbed his hand forward,and Logan saw his claws punch straight through Volta's chest. He said something to the Chaos demon that was inaudible,but Logan heard it in his mind:"Second verse,same as the first."Being in another body wasn't enough to keep Bob from killing Volta again.Hopefully it would stick this time. 

Volta tried to say something,but he was unable to form a syllable as Bob retracted his claws,and Volta stumbled back,off the edge of the platform.The dull thud of his impact with the stone floor thirty feet below seemed to be sucked up by the noise of Arakis's ear splitting scream,somewhere between an air raid siren and the feeling of biting into tin foil. 

Arakis-well,no,what was left of Crayax-was in an ankle deep snowdrift,the pile getting higher all the time,but while it was an annoyance,it was not stopping anything.In fact,Jean was weakening,and Arakis was getting stronger,and even though he could feel this power raging inside him,he could not access it,not properly,and he despaired that he had just blown everything.It was a good try,but he just didn't know how to get the car out of fourth gear. 

But Bob figured out how to work his claws eventually,right?It was hardly a comparison,but if he could make it work... 

But what if he didn't make it work?What if it was just a combination of dumb luck and rage? 

Oh,hell-how could he be so fucking stupid? 

Bob rarely if ever got mad,but maybe it wasn't because he was really beyond it.Maybe it was because of what might happen if he did get angry.Sometimes the simplest thing got overlooked on the assumption that the answer had to be more complex than that.But sometimes-much like life-the answer was so obvious it seemed almost tragic. 

Logan closed his eyes,mentally reached out to the fiery core he could feel inside his (Bob's) mind,and, concentrating on anger that had nothing to do with Bob and everything to do with him,he focused on the hate until it felt like another weapon in his arsenal,and screamed in rage. 

It was like a dam burst inside of him,and he almost felt like he was (psychically) vomiting blue fire as the power seemed to expel from him so forcefully it felt like a purging,an emptying of him. 

Arakis's scream ratcheted up into the hyper audible region,beyond the range of not only human but most creature's hearing (although he was aware,on some level,Bob was in pain from it-it was not out of Logan hearing range,obviously),and he felt the skin of the dimension knitting itself around him,around her,and there was a cessation of pressure as she withdrew,the immovable rock finally crumbling under the unyielding force. 

Things got really quiet as soon as the last of the rifts sealed up,natural dimensional 'pressure' (for lack of a better term-or any term,actually) aiding the effort greatly,and Logan felt amazingly light,like a dried,used up husk.In fact,he felt so insubstantial and empty he didn't realize he had collapsed until he hit the ground,the stone floor feeling cold and yet only partially real. 

"What the hell was that?"He heard Scott asked,but he sounded like he was speaking from the inside of a long metal tunnel. 

"I didn't even know I could do that,"Bob said,obviously in the same tunnel as old Cyke. 

"Logan?"He heard Jean ask.She was far away too,but sounded kind of pained. 

He felt like he was floating on this calm and blissful blue light,and he hated to open his eyes,but he supposed he'd have to,if only to assure them he was still alive.The blue light glow remained,tainting his vision,as he opened his eyes and somehow made his arm work,trying to push himself up to a sitting position,but he wasn't quite up to that yet.The best he could do was shove himself over onto his back,and stare up at the shattered roof of the cavern,which looked like a jagged piece of sky through his blue tinted eyes. 

"Yeah,here,"he said,although it sounded both mushy and muffled to him."Yh,hr." 

Jean's face crossed into the path of his vision,and while she looked pained and indeed was (and an attractive shade of turquoise as well),she seemed to study him intently.He could still hear her thoughts,somewhat faintly now.She was worried he'd done some kind of damage to himself,but she had no idea what,since she had no clear idea of what Bob actually was.She only knew he was not human,and therefore she had no idea how badly injured he (his body) might be."How do you feel?"She finally asked. 

"Never better,"he replied,and honestly he meant it.Even spent and used up,feeling a bit like a discarded tissue,he still felt honestly wonderful.Maybe this was what it was like to be a cloud. 

Jean grimaced at him,thinking he was making one of his flippant remarks.(She thought he made flippant remarks?)"Can you stand?"She asked,still playing doctor.Well,not in the way he wanted. 

That thought almost made him laugh. 

"No,"he admitted,not even trying.He felt barely tangible,lightly tethered to this world,like maybe walking was out of the question but floating was not. 

"Okay,is somebody going to explain all of this to me?"Scott asked.He was exhausted,confused,and at his core rather unsettled about all that had happened here,knowing full well he had no hope of understanding it.In fact,part of him didn't even want to understand it. 

"The world almost ended,but it didn't.The end.Can we go now?"Rogue snapped,unusually curt.But then again,she wasn't really Rogue:from the thought fragments swirling around him,he was able to pick up the fact that Helga had deliberately touched Rogue,so her presence would help her control her Raddock nature.A desperate gambit,but it worked.Helga only held on to her long enough that she felt like she had a really bad hangover,and while Rogue still had a lot of unintelligently aggressive Raddock in her,she had enough Helga infused control to handle it. 

Bob came over and knelt down beside him,next to Jean,who gave him a slightly funny look.'Logan,not Logan,' she thought, being slightly flippant with herself. 

Bob grabbed his hand,and gave it a solid squeeze."We did it,mate.Nice rally there.You've got real drama queen tendencies, don't ya?"He winked at him,and Logan smiled,too weak to laugh. 

"You need to send me the manual on how you work this crazy thing next time." 

"Only if you teach me the right way to use your claws." 

"Deal." 

"And don't worry-I think Ammy can put us back in our correct places." 

"Damn-I was hoping to go out and cruise the chicks later.They go for you foreign dudes." 

Bob laughed,while Jean just rolled her eyes."I was thinkin' the same thing about you!Who doesn't like the bad boy type,huh?" 

"I'm not bad,I'm just drawn that way,"he said,actually repeating the thought Bob had just had as soon as he said that. 

"Oh,you stole his line!"Helga exclaimed,still achy but kind of amused.Apparently Bob liked to use that line whenever the opportunity arose. 

"Huh?"Scott wondered,basically about all of it.He wondered if they were all nuts and having some sort of collective psychotic episode. 

Bob gave him his patented shit eating grin,which Logan found funny and ultimately disturbing to see on his own face.He looked like a self-satisfied wolf.'I'm surprised they call me Wolverine instead of Wolfman,'he thought idly."Get some rest-we'll do the cleaning up,'kay?Remember:if you broke me,you bought me." 

Logan nodded,smiling faintly at his joke."You know I'd get the better end of the deal there." 

Bob's smile faded,becoming slightly sad."No,you wouldn't." 

He wondered what he meant,but he felt like he was going to float away,so as he closed his eyes and felt the river of blue light wash him away,he decided he would simply ask him later,when they were all in their right minds again. 

    13 

    Logan was more pleased to wake up in his own body than he thought he would be.At least it was familiar,even if it felt like gravity was singling him out for special punishment. 

He was back at Xavier's mansion-no shock,in retrospect-more or less okay physically,just a little disoriented.He'd missed a day,though,so that was to be expected. 

The Stansins survived the tidal wave,as did nearly everyone on the island not involved in the fight in the cavern,but the isle of Dis was now a ghost town...er,island,and had lost about two feet of beach and a whole bunch of trees.Storm's lightning bolts had also left the cliff a ruin,but it added a bit of character. 

Crayax apparently liquefied after Arakis withdrew.He was pretty much pulped out,and considering the explosive removal of his leg,Logan wasn't surprised he was dead.Certainly Volta was;no question about that. 

Amaranth and the Sisters had already returned to L.A.,as they didn't want to go to New York.Helga hadn't really wanted to either,but wanted to make sure Bob returned to his proper body."No offense,"she had told him."But I like my guys to keep the same face." 

But it wasn't just that,and Logan knew it:Helga loved Bob.She liked him,she liked sleeping with him,but that was the extent of it,and while Logan always knew that,the knowledge of it,the awareness of how little he actually meant to her,was a bit of an ego bruiser.Not that it was bad thing to be used by her-it was kind of fun-but as far as Logan was concerned,it was over for good. 

Physically,Bob had recovered from all that had happened to him while Logan was in the driver's seat.Logan did get the better end of the bargain there,because what little damaged the Raddocks had done to him before he could spring his claws had healed a long time ago."That's a trip,you know,"Bob told him."The whole healin' thing.It kinda hurts-I never realized that." 

He told him you got used to that too.Logan never realized how many things he had just gotten used to.But they had ceased being strange a long time ago,if indeed they ever had been. 

That night,he sat on the roof to have a smoke (well,Xavier didn't allow smoking in the mansion-and the roof was one place no one would bother him...in theory...),looking over the well lit,well tended grounds and out over the high fence towards the empty countryside surrounding them,a little sorry the stars seemed so pale here.It was all the lights on the grounds,of course, taking away the luster of the night sky. 

He heard him long before he managed to get up on the roof. 

"Can't a guy get a moment's peace around here?"Logan asked,not even bothering to turn around. 

"What is it with you and roofs?"Bob asked,although it almost sounded rhetorical."You're like a bird or something." 

"Last time I checked,I didn't have feathers,"he pointed out,watching the plume of smoke carrying his words dissapate in the air. 

"Nor have you pooped on anyone's car,"Bob agreed,sitting down beside him on the edge of the roof.There was more of a trick to it,since the roof was sloped. 

He heard a woman's muffled voice far below,and then what sounded like electronic music oozing up from one of the rooms far below.Logan realized the woman-a sample on the song-kept repeating "Everybody's some kind of freak".Bob cocked his head,as if he could hear it too,and he gave Logan that sly smile of his."I knew Rogue would like my Mephisto Odyssey mix disc." 

There were a lot more kids than Rogue down there."You're throwing a party,aren't you?" 

"I thought it might be nice for the kids.Things are always so serious around here." 

"And I bet Scott is having a cow." 

"No:a calf."Bob continued to give him his patented smart ass grin."But he got out-voted,so he's living with it.The more he thinks I live to annoy him,the more the kids just love me." 

"You're a people pleaser,Bob." 

"Tell my ex-wives that,"he replied,giving him a wink,as if that was an inside joke between them. 

Logan flicked the ash off the end of cigar,watching it dissolve in the wind before it came close to hitting the ground."Why do you stay here?"He asked,just curious. 

"Oh,Hel and I are headin' out in the morning-" 

"Not here,the mansion.I mean here,the world.You could leave any time you wanted,couldn't you?" 

Bob's smile became impenetrable,a front for gods knew what."I got everything I need right here.Pizza,cable television, Australian Rules Football,edible underwear-why go?" 

Logan glared at him."How is this all a joke to you?You've got people's thoughts nattering in your head all the time,and somewhere in you is the power to destroy reality as we know it,and yet you seem to think this is all being played for laughs." 

"Mate,no one should know better than you that sometimes the choice in life is to laugh or cry.And I hate getting all snotty."He paused briefly,as the track below went more up tempo and louder."Besides,who said I have that kind of power?" 

Logan scoffed,shaking his head."I walked a mile in your shoes,Bob-I know what you can do." 

"No,you only know my potentialities.And frankly,Logan,you could do more with them than I could.I really never have been one for fighting.A nasty business." 

"You hold your own." 

"I said I didn't like it.I never said I didn't do it." 

They sat for a moment,not speaking,the distant noise of electronica filling the gap as they stared off into the dark horizon. Logan could see the dim light haze of a larger town far away,but he wasn't sure Bob's eyesight was acute enough to pick it up.  
Now that he knew Bob could hear every thought running through his head,he felt deeply uncomfortable around him,but what was the difference?He always could:Bob had always known what he was thinking. 

Suddenly,out of nowhere,Bob said,"Don't go this time,Logan." 

He looked at him sharply,sticking the cigar in the corner of his mouth.It was one of his last remaining souvenirs from Dis."I knew you came up here for some reason." 

"Yeah,I did.I knew you'd be running off first chance you got,so I thought I'd better make my pitch while you were still inclined to hear it." 

"No,you missed that boat." 

"Too bad,I'm talkin' anyways,"he replied smoothly,brushing some of the leaf mold he got on the climb up off his hands."They need you here.I would hope that's obvious by now." 

"What do they need me for,Bob?"He asked sarcastically."Takin' out the garbage?" 

Bob gave him a look with a lot of put upon patience in it,like he was another wisecrack away from getting a smack in the face. "They need someone around here who has the guts to do what needs to be done when it needs doing.And that person is you." 

Logan grunted humorously and looked away,back towards the distant city."They need a killer,you mean." 

"I won't deny that's part of it,but it's much more than that,Logan.You have to know how nasty things are getting for mutants out there. They need someone around here who can balance the need for peaceful co-existence with the need for survival." 

"I can't exist peacefully with anyone,Bob,in case you haven't noticed." 

Bob sighed dramatically."You know what,Logan?You're suicidally reckless,because on the one hand you figure you're indestructible,and on the other hand,you figure finally destructing might not be such a bad idea.You distrust everyone because you figure they will hurt you the first chance they get,and you distrust yourself around others because you're afraid you'll hurt them. You're gonna have to start dumping some of this baggage,mate." 

Logan glared at him,wishing he could hit him without Bob seeing it coming."I only hurt people who deserve it." 

"I didn't mean hurt them like that.You said it yourself:you're poison.They get tired of trying to find a weakness in you,so they attack the people around you.At some point,Logan,you loved a human enough that you don't want to see any innocents get hurt.You don't want to watch any more of your loved ones die." 

He winced and looked away,even more furious with Bob than before."Just shut the hell up.if I could fight a telepath,I could fight you." 

Bob acted like he didn't hear that,and went on in that maddeningly reasonable tone of voice."Maybe a lot of people don't have your experience,Logan,but most people aren't that naive.They know you're a risk;they know you're dangerous.If you haven't noticed, some people don't care.They're willing to take that chance.I can understand the urge to shut people out for your and presumably their own good,but you have to stop.You're killing yourself,and not in a way that would make you happy.Keep this up,and I guarantee you will drive yourself crazy." 

"You're assuming I'm not crazy all ready." 

"I walked a mile in your shoes,Logan.You're not.But you have to stop this martyr shit." 

Logan turned on him,snarling,but Bob had known it was coming and seemed to be about three feet farther away from him now."I am not-"he began,but Bob didn't let him finish. 

"You have the right to,Logan.My god,no one should experience half the pain you've experienced in your life.But for a guy who can be kind of full of himself at times,you seem to always overlook the fact that you're actually an extraordinary man.And I'm not talking about your ability to heal,or your enhanced senses,or your ability to fight.I'm talking about the fact that you've been hurt time and time again,but not only did you get back up and keep going,but you never gave up on people,not really.You want to be with them-some part of you really does.It's time to let go of the fear." 

"Maybe you were in my body for a little while,Bob,but you don't know anything about me,"he snapped,feeling the heat of anger make his face flush. 

Bob looked at him sadly,which just infuriated him all the more."Look,if you're determined to go,give yourself a break from the crusade for a week.Here."He reached into the pocket of his leather pants,and pulled out a business card and what looked like a key.He held them out,and while Logan really didn't want to take it,he snatched them out of his hand,mainly out of curiosity. 

The business card (from an erotic bakery in Van Nuys called 'Naughty Little Tarts'-he didn't want to know why Bob had their card) had a hastily scribbled set of directions for a Quebec address on the back,while the key looked like any old key."I have a friend who has a cabin on Lac des Cygnes,in the Laurentian mountain range.This cabin is so bloody remote it's a wonder he ever gets there at all.In the middle of a forest on a steep rise,there are no roads leading to it;you have to slog through the snow and the woods to get there,and you're miles and miles from any sign of civilization.The only electricity is supplied by a generator,and you'd better have supplies and a strong back for chopping wood,'cause you ain't going anywhere easily, especially at this time of year.I think it was aptly described as 'white hell' due to all the snow and the sheer,aggressive remoteness of the place.You could die up there and no one would know until the summer thaw.So immediately I thought you'd love it." 

Logan studied the directions,frowning,knowing Bob was up to something."I don't get this,Bob." 

"You want a place to think,without worrying about mutant torturers or your friendly neighbor demons looking you up?You couldn't find a better place to do it.Maybe,if you refuse to listen to me,you can be alone with yourself and try to figure out what you really want to do next.You will be searching for answers for a long time,Logan.I think you know by now that some will never come." 

He didn't answer,but he didn't have to.He lost so much,it was a pipe dream that he'd ever get it all back.But he'd settle for some."I hope you're not suggesting I give up." 

"Not at all.I'm saying just ease up for a bit,okay?You know some of this will come to you." 

"I'll remember bits and pieces eventually." 

"Well,yes,but I also meant they'll be coming for you." 

That made him tense,the muscles in his back and shoulders feeling like they were seizing up.Yes,of course he knew they hadn't given up their search,but it wasn't something he liked to think about too much,as it would consume all of his free time. "Let 'em come.I can take 'em." 

"Not always,Logan.You know the safest place you can be is here.Well,next to my place.And none of us are people you need to worry about-we can all take care of ourselves pretty well." 

"I'll think about it." 

"No you won't,"Bob replied,standing up."You've already made up your mind." 

He didn't bother to contradict him,because they both knew that was true. 

Bob started to leave,but he heard him stop before he said,"By all rights,Volta's plan should have worked,you know.No human body should have been able to survive even a fragment of me.But I think the thing he was counting on most was the fact that no human would survive in me:the power I have should have eaten you alive.It didn't.Maybe you should think about that." 

Logan scowled,taking a puff off his cigar,and turned to ask,"What do-" 

But Bob was already gone,and Logan suddenly found himself wondering if he had ever really been up here at all. 

** 

    He could hear the strains of the party bleeding down the hall as he packed up what little stuff he had in his knapsack.Bob had had it zapped in from L.A.,apparently,along with his bike,which was back in the garage. 

Lots of rhythmically pulsing music that sounded all the same to him,with the generally happy,enthusiastic voices of the kids a faint but constant murmur in the background,oozed through the walls.Every now and then,he could hear Scott saying something to them-he was the unofficial chaperone-but even he didn't sound as anal as usual.Maybe he'd seen the wisdom in Bob's idea of letting the kids burn off a little steam. 

When there was a light rap on his door,he assumed it was Bob,coming to try and talk him out of going again,but when the door opened,it was Jean who stuck her head in."Hey,"she said,giving him a wan smile."You're missing a party." 

He shrugged,shouldering his knapsack."Not really a party without beer." 

"Are you sure you never went to college?"She replied,her smile becoming a bit more genuine.She came inside,shutting the door behind her,her smile mutating into a troubled frown."I think I could make an awful joke about you being like a tree." 

"Huh?" 

"Always leaving." 

He winced."Oh man,Jean,that sucked." 

"I know,"she agreed,nodding sagely.Maybe because of the party,she had her hair down for once,and she was wearing a casual dark green shirtdress that was a nice contrast to her auburn hair (and she actually left the top three buttons undone,hinting at some cleavage-no,he was sure he never had a teacher that looked like her).She had a natural sort of elegance that always made him wonder if she ever looked sloppy.She must-no one could look that presentable all the time.Unless you were a telekinetic who could smooth things out without thinking about it?"But would it really kill you to stick around for a while?" 

'It might kill you,'he thought instantly,but he decided not to say it.He just stared at her a moment,remembering what he had seen in her mind while in Bob's body,and asked,"Do you want me to stay?" 

Her clear hazel eyes met his without hesitation,and she her lips curved up in a small,sweet smile."I think it would be nice." 

He walked towards her slowly,never looking away from her dark and curious eyes."Why don't we cut the bullshit,Jean?We're both adults here.Why don't we act like it?" 

"What are you talking about?"She looked slightly panicked,though,so he figured she knew. 

"I know,"he said,feeling he didn't really need to say anymore. 

She backed up against the door,looking fearful,but made no move to escape."I-I don't understand." 

"Yes you do."She wanted to know what it was like to kiss him,huh?He thought he'd show her. 

Braced for the possible telekinetic toss across the room,he kissed her,hands sliding slowly across her warm back,hoping if she had to hurt him,she would like him too much to knee him in the groin. 

After a moment of hesitancy,he wasn't too surprised when she responded in kind,kissing him back even harder,her arms wrapping tightly around him.Her body pressed firmly against his,and she smelled so good,of White Linen perfume and some citrus scented hair conditioner,he wondered how long she could be gone before Scott noticed her missing. 

He jinxed it,perhaps.She suddenly came to her senses and pushed him away,although not forcefully and-best of all-not telekinetically,not yet.She looked stunned,though,as if she couldn't believe he had kissed her,or that she had kissed him back. 

"Logan,"she said,but seemed unable to finish whatever her sentence had been. 

"Come with me,"he said,hoping he had acted fast enough. 

"What?" 

"Let's just go,just for a little while." 

She continued to look startled,but he could see a war going on behind her eyes:she wanted to,she really did."What?I-I'm engaged to Scott." 

"Break it." 

"I love him." 

"You think you do.Is that the same thing?" 

In retrospect,that was the wrong thing to say,and he regretted it the second it left his mouth.Love-passion-was not safe;it was dangerous by its nature.It was like handing your heart to someone and hoping they didn't squeeze it into a bloody pulp before throwing it aside and walking away.But for whatever reason,Jean wanted something safe;it didn't matter if it wasn't all that real (at least on her part),just as long as there was no sense of danger involved. 

The Boy Scout was right:she wasn't crazy enough to run off with him.Not now. 

She got this sort of pitying look on her face,and he knew what was coming."Logan,I-" 

He stepped back from her,shaking his head,angry at her and himself.Her for being unwilling to go for what she wanted,no matter how scary it seemed,and himself for thinking she might be ready to take that plunge and forcing the issue.Even facing the end of the world together had not been enough."Forget it.I made a mistake.I'm sorry."He was sorry about a lot of things, but not about kissing her. 

She looked at him,eyes wide in her pale face,and for a single moment,it looked as though she might change her mind. Finally, she said,"It's okay.This never happened." 

She reached behind her back and opened the door,backing out and never looking away from his eyes until she was half way down the hall.And even then it seemed to take a physical effort on her part to turn away from him,to tear her gaze from his and continue back towards her safe,near normal life.But it did happen,and he was pretty sure neither of them were going to forget as easily as she wanted. 

As soon as she was gone,he gently punched the wall-so as not to put his fist through it-and lightly banged his forehead against the door jamb-so as not to leave a big dent in it.Volta was right:sometimes he was a grade A moron. 

Once he was done mentally berating himself,he left,heading towards the garage,the sounds of the party and Jean's lingering scent growing fainter with every step.If he had any sense at all,he'd swear off both women and people altogether,and become a hermetic monk somewhere in the Himalayas.But then he'd actually have to believe in gods,wouldn't he? 

And yet he supposedly knew a demi-god who occasionally played poker with Ganesha.He'd even inhabited his body briefly, and felt the kind of power that could blow this fucking planet's reality up.In his hands,he might just do that,especially now. 

But not Bob.He would never understand that man.Walking a mile in his shoes didn't even begin to help him understand what this man saw or why he did-or didn't do-what he did.He could be the super-villain to end all super-villains,yet he wasn't.Didn't  absolute power corrupt absolutely?What was his excuse? 

He had just about reached the side corridor that led directly to the garage when he heard a familiar electronic hum,and shortly after:"Logan.I was hoping to catch you before you left." 

He turned around reluctantly to face Xavier,wondering if he was going to castigate him for making a pass at his pet's fiancee, but the older man was simply smiling up at him.But the smile was vaguely suspicious,as avuncular as it seemed."Guess you did,"he offered lamely,waiting to hear what Xavier had to say first. 

Xavier nodded,continuing his wan smile,wrinkles gathering in the corners of his pale blue eyes."I was hoping I could convince you-if not to stay-then to come back soon." 

He sighed,closing his eyes so Xavier didn't see him roll them."It's not that I don't appreciate the offer,but I really don't belong here.I'd think that would be obvious by now." 

"Actually,the opposite seems to be true,"Xavier said kindly,adding,"I was,in fact,going to offer you a position here." 

Logan glared down at him in disbelief,sure he was making fun of him,or perhaps just really drunk.But he didn't smell liquor on him. 

"I'm completely serious,"the Professor went on,as if reading his mind.Maybe he did.But before he continued,his smile seemed to fade away in increments,like a time elapsed photo of erosion on a cliffside."Things have...taken a turn for the worse as far as public opinion of mutants go-" 

"Yeah,I see the papers,"he interrupted,not bothering to add he didn't read them anymore,just saw them.It was always the same old shit;just the players rearranged themselves now and then. 

Xavier didn't seem to be bothered by the interruption."Then you know how...dire things are becoming.I think it would be useful for the students to know how to defend themselves,in case they ever find themselves in a situation where they have no other choice." 

Logan wasn't sure if he should laugh or not."What-you want me to teach them how to fight?" 

"Who better?" 

He scoffed derisively. "I ain't a teacher." 


	11. Part 11

He shrugged."Neither was Storm when she came here.You'll learn,and I know you'd learn quickly.The students are already in awe of you." 

Now he knew Xavier was making fun of him."What?Why would they be?" 

"Rogue has told them all stories about you,and despite Scott's attempts to inject a little sobriety into it,you've become an almost mythic figure to them.They seem to think you're the toughest mutant alive."Xavier's warm smile returned,tinged with a hint of wryness."It's a hard claim to dispute." 

Logan could only shrug.He doubted he was the 'toughest' around,but he was hard pressed to think of tougher at the moment."Scott ain't gonna like it,"he pointed out,aware that was an argument in favor of the teaching gig. 

"I think Scott would see the practicality of it,"Xavier said,choosing his words very carefully."He is very good when it comes to precise battle simulations-" 

"Precise?Since when is battle precise?" 

Xavier gave him that wry smile again."You see the flaw." 

What good was trying to learn to fight from a teacher who learned all he knew about fighting from a textbook?And Scott probably knew next to nothing on hand to hand combat,since he had a power that took people out from a distance:up close fighting for him must have been rarer than a politician's morality. 

If the kids ever had to get in a real fight,using whatever skills Scott had supposedly taught them,they'd probably get killed pretty quick.To be fair,real life fights were so sloppy and chaotic it was hard to teach anyone about them;you could only teach skills that would presumably serve someone well,if they bothered to use them properly.And did anyone know more about fighting than he did?Not only did he have lots of experience,he had skills he wasn't even sure how he acquired.For some reason (perhaps due to the fact that he was a 'samurai',or whatever the hell Bob thought he was),he could sword fight if he had to,but how useful was that in today's world?And although he had no memory of even holding one,he was reasonably certain he could use a rocket launcher.Could Scott?Somehow,he doubted it.He'd probably be appalled by the very idea of one. 

He meant well,he couldn't deny that;the Boy Scout wouldn't want any of those kids to get hurt.But his squeamishness and refusal to deal with the ugly reality of the world might inadvertently get them killed someday.He could be useful here,maybe, and the idea surprised him a bit.Surprised him and vaguely frightened him,although he couldn't say why.Maybe the taste of Jean still on his lips wasn't helping anything. 

"Why don't you think about it?"Xavier suggested,perhaps sensing his unease. 

Logan nodded."Yeah,I will.Look...why now?It's not only 'cause public opinion has us one step removed from the Aryan Youth,is it?" 

Xavier looked as if he thought about lying,or just making something up,but he finally decided to be honest-or as honest as he dared."I was very impressed by what Bob told me.I think,if somehow we switched places,I wouldn't have the first clue what to do.But I'm sure you'd do some damage."He almost had a twinkle in his eye when he said that,as if the idea both amused and impressed him. 

Logan could only shrug,not at all sure what to say."You make use of what you got." 

Xavier nodded in agreement,giving him an approving smile,like he'd just passed some test."Not everyone can,nor can they come to that conclusion so quickly.Bob was right." 

"What did he say?"Bob had put him up to this,hadn't he?That meddlesome asshole.Just because he knew everything-oh,wait... 

"He said you were one of the most resilient and resourceful Humans he had ever met.I think you could be of great benefit to us,Logan.And maybe you could pick up a few things from us too." 

"No offense,but I kinda doubt it," 

"Think about it,Logan.We could use your help.And you never know when you might need ours." 

He nodded,pretty sure he shouldn't say he doubted that too.Because,who knew?Maybe he really would,as unlikely as that seemed right now. 

He turned away and continued to the garage,Xavier making no effort to stop him,and Logan dug out the business card and the key to the cabin in the mountain that Bob had somehow given him.He'd never said who the 'friend' was,or how he had ended up with the key.Did he want to know? 

He idly wondered if Bob set traps for his so called 'friends'.Nothing Bob did would surprise him in the least. 

But he couldn't help but wonder what was waiting for him there. 

    EPILOGUE 

    The snow was knee deep,the permafrost of the crust frozen so hard it almost didn't give,even under the three hundred and twenty pound weight of him,but with just a little extra pressure Logan got it to crack.He slogged up the slope to the rustic looking three room wooden cabin,which looked not so much quaint as utilitarian,the last possible refuge in all this sterile whiteness.Snow coated everything,a layer of frosting on the towering pines and the peaked roof of the cabin,and half a foot of new powder coated the tarp covering the Sno-Cat he rented at the last outpost of civilization thirty seven miles down the slope,a little Mom and Pop general store that also rented equipment that anyone venturing out here would need. 

Well,he intended to rent it,but he found it had already been rented and waiting for him.By Bob of course,who else? 

While buying a few supplies to bring up with him (although he now suspected Bob had had it stocked up),he conversed with the store owners,Veronique and Yves,in their native French:they spoke English,but it was a little broken. 

(And it was no shock he spoke French-he was Canadian,right?) 

They referred to the owner of the cabin as "Roberre",a nice foreign man who came by very erratically,and bought very little,although he always overpaid and refused to accept change.He never rented a Sno-Cat or other type of snowmobile or similar equipment,and they weren't sure how he got too or from the cabin,which they almost thought was a myth since neither had ever seen it,nor heard of it being built.Much like Roberre,it seemed to just sort of appear one day. 

Bob and his little white lies.Since he wasn't Belial anymore,why did he even bother?Force of habit?Or maybe he found it funny:Bob did an astounding amount of things just because he thought they were funny. 

Roberre always wore ski goggles or polarized sunglasses,so they had no idea what color his eyes were,but just by virtue of him being handsome,charming,and generous with his money-as well as being so gentle with this elderly couple-Logan knew damn well it was him.He could probably change his appearance like Mystique,albeit in a different way-in the mind's eye,not physically-but who he was never really changed.He knew how truly awful people were,how despicable they could be,and yet he never collectively hated them;he never turned his back on them.Why? 

He would never understand him.Not one bit. 

Logan saw the smoke curling up from the chimney,smelled the sharp scent of burning pine,and he tried to remember if he left a fire going in the hearth before he left.He must have. 

But why couldn't he remember leaving? 

His breath formed into icy clouds before him,the air so cold it felt like he was inhaling ice crystals that scraped the back of his throat raw,but as much as he hated the cold,he liked it better than the oppressive heat.The air seemed cleaner;it was easier to pick out the dozens of scents in the wind,everything from trees to small mammals to even a certain type of bird that liked to perch at the very tops of the highest trees and watch for prey trying to scavenge for food in this snowy wasteland.He realized,in retrospect,he liked this place so much because it would be impossible to ambush him here.The conditions that hampered everyone else were beneficial to him. 

A quick scan of the snow showed that only birds and a snowshoe hare had been close to the cabin.But wait a second-if he had left,where were his footprints? 

What was the last thing he remembered? 

He gently pushed open the front door,tensed for anything,as he scoured his mind for his most recent memory. Was it looking through the bookcase? 

There was a bookcase in the sparsely furnished main room,full of a hodgepodge of books that Logan would swear Bob had customized for him.There were old books on the Bushido (Samurai) code written in Japanese ;several conspiracy type books (secret government projects,blah blah blah);several books on neurology (!),the brain,and memory recollection and loss;a demon dictionary;a book of military history (he didn't understand that at all) and,in what he assumed was a spasm of Bob's perverse,ever present sense of humor, there were several trashy romance novels and several openly soft core porn books,all wedged between books on building your own cabin and making your own deer jerky.He was sure there was another joke in the placement of the books,but he wasn't completely sure what it meant.Or maybe he just didn't want to know. 

He knew there was someone in the room as soon as the door was open a crack-he could smell them-and his hands had already balled into fists at his side as the door swung completely open and a figure stood up, rising from where they had been sitting on the small,wood framed sofa. 

"Hello,Logan,"she said,turning to face him,her pale lips curved into a small,sad smile. 

He froze in his tracks,feeling a shock that hit him as hard as a bullet."Naomi?"He said breathlessly.Framed in the orange light of the fireplace,he knew he could be wrong,he knew he could be seeing someone else,but there was no mistaking her smell,her voice,or her artificially scarlet hair,which glowed in the firelight like lava."What-what are you doing here?" 

She shrugged."I don't know.I guess I just wanted to see you." 

"You don't remember me,"he pointed out,forcing himself to come inside and close the door to keep as much of the heat inside as possible.Compared to the outside,it was as warm as an oven in the cabin,almost hot,but he knew it was just because he'd been out in the cold.In a couple of minutes,as soon as he acclimated to the temperature change,it would probably seem a little bit chilly in here."Do you?" 

Her smile widened,yet seemed all the more sadder for it."Here I do." 

And Logan's heart sank as he realized he was dreaming.He must have fallen asleep reading one of those  curious books.But rather than dream of being vivisected or tortured,he was having a dream of her.He wondered if Bob had pushed him-sure,it had been two days since he last saw him,but Bob had that kind of power.He could do anything he put his mind to,and usually did. 

Suddenly,as he took off his jacket,now wet from melting snow,he thought of a song he heard playing on a tinny radio at the last gas station he stopped in before coming up here.He didn't know what the song was,all he knew was the first line:"I am still living with your ghost."Logan figured he lived with a lot of ghost;Naomi was simply the latest. 

But he missed her,and he felt a pang of regret as he hung his fleece lined bomber jacket on the coat rack by the door."I'd ask how you're doing,but since you're not really here,I guess it doesn't matter." 

"I'm always here,Logan.Reality is subjective,don't you think?" 

That was a very Bob thing to say.But since he spent time in Bob's body and somewhat in his mind,maybe it was some after effect of the whole thing.A psychic hangover. 

His hands felt hot and prickly with a pins and needles sensation.He knew he should wear gloves every time he went out,but he didn't always;he didn't get frostbite like a normal person.He healed.He always healed. 

Well,physical wounds anyways. 

When he turned around,she was there,and threw her arms around him,embracing him tightly,resting her head against his shoulder like she almost always did."I've missed you,"she sighed,her breath hot against his neck. 

This wasn't real and he knew it,and the thought of this being some sort of Bob manipulation angered him,but still he put his arms around her,feeling the slightest electric tingle as he always did when he touched her (she wasn't nicknamed Electra for nothing),and held her tight,breathing in her familiar and missed scent."Not like I've missed you,"he admitted,feeling a hollow ache somewhere beneath his breastbone.He did miss her; he just tried not to think about it.Just like he tried not to think about Mariko,or about the possibility that he was some sort of hitman for the bastards who mutilated him,even before they got him on that table. 

She buried her face in his neck,the tiniest spark shooting out from the contact,a familiar pain,and murmured, "You know I'm safe,Logan.I wish you were." 

"I'll never be safe." 

"You don't know that." 

"Yes,I do,"he admitted,feel a sudden wave of sorrow crash over him.Safety was for normal people,and maybe a lucky few mutants,but he would never know such a thing.That was both good and bad. 

After a moment,she pulled back,smiling lazily at him,in a way that made the dimples on her cheeks stand out. She had a lovely face;she looked as warm and alluring as he knew she could be,once you got past her natural, instinctive wariness.She had a good reason for it-before him,she had always been afraid to touch people,sure she'd accidentally electrocute him.For him,the pain didn't matter.In fact,he got used to it really fast,and even got a sort of erotic charge out of it (no pun intended)."Why don't we warm up,huh?" 

He raised an eyebrow at her,unable to keep from smirking."You know I'm all for that." 

Actually,what she had in mind was sitting in front of the fire with a stiff drink,which was an okay secondary plan to him. 

As it turned out,Bob had a small root cellar,as cold as a freezer since it was beneath the frozen ground,and it was well stocked with all sorts of things.He even found a small pantry cupboard full of very unusual foodstuffs-Dehydrated miso noodle soup bowls,anyone?Rice candy?Dried Serrano chilies?Four different kinds of pasta,three different kinds of couscous,and five different kinds of rice,as if anyone needed that much starch-and in a small cabinet on which rested a lantern(and which he thought was an end table) was a small but surprisingly well stocked bar.There was a lot of good stuff in it too:Bob obviously didn't care much for the cheap stuff. 

He and Naomi sat on the floor on the fireproof rug in front of the hearth,backs against the lip of the sofa,each with a glass of single malt whiskey in their hand.Oh sure,it burned going down,but the extra warmth provided by the whiskey was nice,even if he couldn't enjoy the slight buzz of the alcohol. 

He did feel strangely tired,though,maybe from all that slogging through the snow-when it was up to your knees,it was like trying to walk through deep,setting concrete,and even with his system he got tired now and again-and Naomi must have picked that up because she pulled him down.She remained seated,but he rested his head on her thigh as she stroked his hair,static electricity making his hair crackle between her fingers.He stared into the fire,watching the yellow orange flames threaten to form patterns as it consumed the pine logs,but before his eyes could interpret what he saw,the patterns broke and tried something different,as if they were deliberately trying to be annoying.And even with that,and the electricity in Naomi's touch,he could feel himself drifting off.Could you fall asleep in a dream?Well,hell-why not? 

"We would have made a good team,"she said finally,as if she had been thinking about it for a long time. 

"We did make a good team."he replied."For a little while.Too little." 

Her fingertips stroked his brow,and he longed for her with an almost palpable ache.He always wanted to go upstate and visit  her when he did return to the mansion,but the thought of seeing her and her never recognizing him,save as some sort of man from a past that no longer existed for her,was just too painful.He had to be content with knowing she was safe. 

(And suddenly he remembered Bob,in his seedy back office,telling him what seemed like a long time ago now:"Now it's your duty to remember her,Logan.Even if those ten years weren't taken from her,time would have taken her eventually.You know that,she knew that.So the Naomi before has to live in you now.Do you  think you can handle that?Do you think you can live with that?") 

He still didn't know if he could.He was trying,but he wasn't sure it was working. 

Suddenly,he realized:"Is this who you are?" 

He looked up at her,and she glanced down at him,smiling faintly,amused and maybe just a little sad."The ghost of the Naomi you knew?Maybe." 

"Because the real one still doesn't know who the fuck I am,"he sighed,looking back at the flames.He knew this   
was a dream,or some kind of post-push delusion,but he hated to be told it by Naomi herself.Itself.Whatever. Regrets made tangible.Why was he not surprised? 

"Did I ever tell you I loved you?"He asked,wondering if a fragment of her remembered personality would have a more reliable memory than he did. 

"You didn't need to.I kinda already knew.I loved you too,you know,or did you think I'd get myself brain fried for just anyone?" 

"I wish you hadn't.It wouldn't have made any difference if I'd taken the hit-I'd remember eventually." 

"You'd had enough taken from you.My turn.Besides,Logan,you know that may have worked out for the best.I forgot all about Shrike's mindfucking-and killing him;I forgot about being hunted like a rabid dog;I forgot about killing my own treacherous sister.Perversely,it may have been a mercy.Just like forgetting all about Mariko may have been a mercy for you too." 

He tensed at the mention of his late wife's name,and was about to snap at her to never make a joke like that again,but she wasn't joking,and she wasn't here anyways.He was,in a way,having a conversation with his own subconscious." I forgot about her before Lethe even touched me?" 

"Not about her,no.But maybe a few details here and there.How she died,what happened afterwards...the brain will happily forget a trauma,Logan,or something its owner decides it can't live with.Happens to all of us. If not,most psychiatrists and hypnotherapists would have to get real jobs." 

He thought about that for a moment,the crackle of the flames filling the silence,and he realized exactly what she was trying to tell him."You're saying I forgot about Mariko before they sicced Lethe on me?" 

"Not about her,no.But if some of the details blurred a bit,would you be surprised?" 

"No."Did his mind heal itself over,just like the rest of him?He hoped not.The thought was disappointing...but all that surprising?Maybe not."Shit,"he sighed,"I'm a real head case,ain't I?" 

"No,Logan.You're simply Human.You forget that sometimes." 

"Maybe it's hard to remember." 

She didn't say anything,just continued to trail her fingers over his forehead and through his hair,and he closed his eyes,watching the patterns of living shadows the flames created behind his eyelids.Every now and then they looked like the silhouettes of faces,but they came and went so fast he could never identify any of them. 

He knew the scene around him had changed-the flames had died to blackness,and he was laying on something even harder and more uncomfortable,yet still familiar.He was almost afraid to open his eyes-what if he was back on the table again?-but he smelled Naomi,so he assumed it wasn't.He opened his eyes,and confirmed it wasn't,but he was far from happy. 

They were laying in the back of the truck they had stolen on their ill fated trip to the Grand Cache base.It was the last time they were together,the last place where they made love,before their inevitable stop at the gas station where an ambush was waiting for them.He got captured,she blew up the station (and a number of soldiers),and the last time he saw her in person was inside the base,minutes before she attacked Lethe to save him and lost the past ten years of her life. 

It was still an uncomfortable place,made strangely cozy by the wind howling outside and the snow piling up against the vehicle,and Naomi still snuggled up against him,burying his face in his neck,slipping her hands underneath his shirt."What's the moral here?"He asked her,nuzzling his face in her hair.It smelled like rain and apples,just like it did back then."Bob didn't do this to me just to make me feel melancholy,did he?" 

"I don't know.You tell me." 

"I can't." 

"Try." 

"I'm gonna kill Bob one of these days,"he sighed,not really serious since he was pretty sure it couldn't be done,at least not by a Human. 

"Have you noticed your tendency to love the impossible,the unattainable?"She asked,brushing her lips against his neck."You love what you probably can't have,which makes it easier,doesn't it?It's frustrating,but at the end of the day there's no real responsibility,and no one to endanger because of you,and not as much pain of loss." 

That made him almost inexplicably angry,but he couldn't see taking it out even on a simulacrum of Naomi."I hope you're not sayin' I didn't love you until you lost your memory,'cause I-" 

"No,that's not what I'm saying,"she assured him,her hand cupping the back of his neck.That gesture felt familiar,gave him a strange sense of deja vu:yes,Naomi had done it before,but so had another woman, although he couldn't remember who or why."I'm saying...oh,forget it.For a man who has few memories,you spend a lot of time living in the past." 

He groaned,rolling his eyes."And this is an extension of his 'lose the baggage' speech from the roof.Yeah,I get it now." 

"I'm not sure you do.You have to let go of the things that do nothing but hurt you,and move on." 

"Yeah,well,I'd love to,but some of those things that hurt me are huntin' for me,darlin',and somehow I think suggestin' they let go of the past ain't gonna go down well." 

"I don't mean forget everything,and you sure as hell better not forget me,"she said,pulling back to look him in the eyes.Her smile was gentle,although the look in her cerulean eyes remained somewhat sad."I think you just need to find a new pastime,besides searching for answers you may never find and slowly driving yourself crazy." 

"I am not giving up,"he insisted,wondering why everything was aligning against his search for answers. 

Okay,so he had yet to find much of anything,but still quitting was for cowards,even if you were so far behind you might never catch up. 

"I'm not saying you should.I'm saying take a break.As strong as you are,even you need a rest sometime.It's a pity I have to remind you of that."She kissed the bridge of his nose,and said,"If you're not going to do it for yourself,do it for me.Live for me." 

And suddenly,when she pulled back,he saw Mariko,smiling at him... 

Logan opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling,alive with the jittering shadows of the flames in the fireplace. 

There was a book,titled 'The Modular Brain',sitting splayed open on his chest,and as he sat up it fell closed in his lap.Great-Bob pushed him to dream about the two women he had failed most miserably in his life:his forgotten wife,and Naomi."Thanks,Bob,"he grumbled,rubbing his dry eyes. 

He must have been asleep for a few hours,as the fire had burned down a great deal,leaving only the bottom log and a whole mound of smoldering embers. 

He set the book aside and got up,taking two pine logs he had cut only yesterday from a pile in a brass container beside the couch.He tossed them in the hearth,watched them snap and briefly cough sparks as they finally caught fire,and he wondered if either of them-Naomi and Mariko-ever forgave him. 

It was a stupid thought,of course:Mariko was long since dead,and the Naomi he knew was,and couldn't remember him to forgive him.But he hoped they had in their hearts if nowhere else. 

It was then he heard in his mind a voice that sounded like Naomi's,but was probably a fragment of Bob-or even his own subconscious-"Maybe you should forgive yourself." 

"Oh,shut up,"he muttered,then realized only crazy people talked to themselves.Well,hey,he probably was nuts-so fucking what? 

He was dressed in nothing but jeans and a black muscle shirt,suggesting he had been in for the night and not slogging through the snow,His boots were close to the fireplace,put there to dry after he came in,but they were bone dry now,almost baking.From that,he decided he'd been asleep for at least six hours,maybe more. That would teach him to try and read a book on neurobiology.He should probably just stick to the laughable porn. 

Through the ice frosted windows,he could see pale grey light starting to bleed through the glass,and he knew,somewhere beyond the clouds,the sun was rising.The time here went faster than he thought it would, but maybe that's because he had the ghosts of his past and present to keep him company. 

He dug one of those fancy Dis cigars out of the pocket of his leather bomber jacket,hanging on the rack by the door where he had hung it up several hours ago,and also pulled out the adamantium coated Zippo lighter Bob had given him a long time ago now.That man was in his life too goddaman much. 

He lit up the cigar and put the lighter back in his coat pocket before opening the door to the cold. 

There was no porch,so he simply sat down in the doorway,planting his bare feet in the snow as he looked out at the scrubby pine forest surrounding the cabin.In the half light of early dawn,the snow had a bluish cast,and he could easily imagine himself on some alien ice planet,or as the last man on Earth.That last thought wasn't quite as terrifying as it used to be. 

He heard the rabbits out there,there soft padding on the snow as gentle as the sound of snowflakes falling, smelled them,watched the birds flit from branch to snowy branch,their songs clear and loud in the still,cold air. 

He smoked his cigar,watching the plumes of smoke freeze like clouds of breath,and could feel something vaguely pressing against his thigh in the left pocket of his jeans.He didn't need to pull it out to see what it was. There was one book he found in the nightstand beside the simple bed;not a Gideon bible (according to Bob,that was just a Belial practical joke anyways,and the more he thought about it,the more perfect sense that made),but a book of Russian poetry,by a woman named Anna something,long Russian last name.He had not taken Bob for the Russian poetry type,but hell,Bob was capable of anything.As he was putting the book back,a small bookmark fell out,wafting to the floor like a dead leaf.It was just a small ivory bookmark,nothing special at all,until he realized there was a quotation printed on it,in black italic letters.It was simply this:' "The most merciful thing in the world . . . is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." -- H. P. Lovecraft.' 

It was then he realized Bob had left that for him,and it pissed him off.He crumpled up the bookmark and shoved it in his pocket,although he couldn't remember why now.He was probably going to throw it in the fireplace,but-irony-he had forgotten.Somehow that figured. 

Maybe he wanted him to look at the poetry book,why he had no idea,but it was in Cyrillic,for fuck's sake!Did he think he read Russian,was that it?Or did he just think he was a poetry type of guy?Either way,he hadn't taken the book out of the drawer again,and didn't intend to before he left.Whenever that was. 

When did he plan to leave?Did he ever plan to leave?He'd been here three days,and the peace was incredible.He could have been at the ends of the Earth,the last person alive on planet Earth.It was a nice feeling;he'd never felt so close to being at peace before. 

Except at night,when the ghosts came,the memory shards like pieces of flying glass,slicing through him,past him,leaving him unsettled  and feeling somewhat lost.What the hell did he think he was doing?Did he even know?No,he didn't,and that was far from new.That was the general way in which he went about things.If he actually knew what he was doing,he'd be even more dangerous than he already was. 

His feet tingled,not quite numb from the cold as the snow melted around them,and from the errant spills of hot ash,and he wondered what he was going to do with himself. 

Was he going to continue to wander aimlessly around Canada,hoping for a clue?Was he going to go back to L.A. and wait for Bob to dig up more of his past,no matter how sordid?Or was he going to go back to Westchester,and take Xavier up on his offer? 

He couldn't remember Mariko,but he could remember Naomi,and he knew,if she were here,she'd want him to go to Westchester.Not only to help keep others safe,but to keep himself as safe as possible,under the perilous circumstances of his confounding life.Bob could still troll for information;he did fine without him.Bob was always fine.And hadn't he been wandering around Canada for a long time now?What exactly had he found,beyond frustration and pain?Bob was right-the men who wanted him would come after him eventually. This was not over.He feared this battle would never be over. 

"So,Logan,"he asked himself quietly,startling a snowbird who had landed close to the covered Sno-Cat."What are you going to do?" 

And in the silence and bird song of the blue early morning,he sat and waited for his answer. 

THE END 


End file.
